I did in 1990.. I just had a baby ( he begged me to get pregnant) and I had a 4 yr old. Today the ex husband of the other woman stopped by to visit after 18 yrs. We talked about how terrible my life was back then, how poor I was and how hard I worked and got my life back together, and how sorry he felt for me raising 2 little kids with nothing. My daughter over heard, got mad and stormed out of the house. She is 19 now and she thinks I should not say terrible things about her dad.
I never had any more kids and never re married.
I refuse to pretend like he is a good person.
The other woman and her husband were married 19 yrs when the affair started. He was emotionally damaged and recently hooked up again with a new gal. He came to say hi and see how I am doing.
The affair devastated 2 families. He hasnt spoken to his daughter who was 12 at the time of his wifes affair with my husband in 10 yrs.
I think my daughter is old enough to know what happened. What do you think
2007-05-12 14:39:01 · 6 answers · asked by happydawg 6 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
If she is 1/2 her dad, he forgot about it because I raised her without a dime in child support and no help. I refuse to say nice things about a man who took his daughter to the health clinic and had them send me the bill.
2007-05-12 15:05:07 · update #1
I also dont make it a habit of talking about it every day. I have been divorced for a long time. I work a full time job, so I can help my kids get thru college, get cars and get out on their own. OOOPS! Something else the sperm donor forgot about.
2007-05-12 15:07:47 · update #2
Your daughter needs to know the truth whether she likes it or not. I went through the same things with my son when his dad left 2 years ago, he still loves his dad, but realizes that what happened was his dad's fault and he doesn't have much of a relationship with him at this time, but he is still his dad, I don't try to keep them apart, my son has a mind of his own and doesn't need me to influence him. He knows what his dad did was wrong and how many lives it affected and what a hardship it has been on me to try and support us both, because he was too old for me to get child support. Our kids are a lot wiser than we realize sometime. So let your daughter know how you feel and she will do whatever she wants.
2007-05-12 15:12:18 · answer #1 · answered by tannerlady 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You go girl!!!! It takes a woman like you to handle life after your ex had an affair on you.
It's hard for a single mother to deal with day to day, let alone do it alone for so many years. But you pulled it together and got you and those kids where you wanted to be and that in itself is something to be proud of . From what you stated in your inquiry, your ex is a jerk and I know from first hand experience that he has done some shady things in the past that you had to sweep under the rug, so your children wouldn't know how dirty he could be. That was hard to swallow and now that your daughter is old enough to know the truth, well, it may be time that you let her know the truth but in a nice gentle way. I sense that you can be gentle in conversing (seeing that you allowed the woman your husband cheated with, come into your home after he left her for another woman) Ha!!!
Anyway,
2007-05-12 20:02:19 · answer #2 · answered by lwheavenlyangel 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Unless you want to continue getting hurt by this person I would advise you to get out. You say he has a "history" of cheating, that means he is more than likely unable or unwilling to change his ways. If it happened once and he felt remorse and wanted to attend marital counseling, I would say "maybe" it's worth it. But if it's a cycle, this will be a continuous problem to subject yourself to. Why not just go through the process of divorce and take some time to heal. The hardest part is making the choice to leave. But once you do it, you will feel empowered. Of course it will hurt, but what you feel in the end is so worth it. You owe it to yourself. It's like getting on a diet and exercising. You don't want to do it, but you know you need to. Once you do the hard work it pays off. Do this for your soul. As far as him telling you he loves you. Dump those words in the garbage. Actions speak much louder than words.
2016-05-17 04:02:35 · answer #3 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She knows what happened but does not want to hear about it everyday of her life. You picked this man and had his child. How do you think this makes her feel when you talk bad about it. Don't talk about him at all. Don't you have better things to talk about than the past. Get on with your life and build a good relationship with your daughter instead of tearing her down. Half of her is her dad and half is you and you are not behaving any better than him. GROW UP!
2007-05-12 14:45:49 · answer #4 · answered by Dance 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋
I think she should know what happened. She should be able to accept it in time. Life is not perfect. She needs to know the pain it caused everyone involved. Maybe this will help. Sometimes these things end up bringing people closer together.
2007-05-12 14:48:57 · answer #5 · answered by Busy Lady 2010 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
as long as you dont make this an every day thing.. the truth is, we hate to admit when one of our parents done wrong.. let her know the truth, but also realize that she still loves him.
2007-05-12 14:54:49 · answer #6 · answered by emtb9 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋