I don't want to KILL my Gold-Digging Ex-wife: what should I do ? ( I'll let you decide her fate )?

Question

No, I'm not going to harm her physically: RELAX !
She wants me to financially support her while she's sleeping around with her new lover.
We're divorced but she still lives at my place. Her new lover wants her to move in with him. She sleeps most nights at his place, but all her funiture is here. (is place is way too small !)
I just got a new job and I wish to move to a new apartment closer to work, but she's still in school till September and she wants me to stay and pay the rent. She has no job, studies full time, and the new guy won't pay a dime.
So WHAT DO I DO??
PLEASE; YOU DECIDE:

1) Stay till September, pay the rent until she gets a job around September, then leave. (while she's screwing him nightly).

2) Give my 60 day's notice now, and find a new place and let her fend for herself, possibly moving in with him when I go.

When we got married I promised to support and provide for her forever, now she's angry at me for changing my promise.

You decide her fate:

I'm not out for revenge, that would be WRONG ! I am not like that. I want fairness and to follow what's the right thing to do in this situation, without any emotional motivations.

The divorce papers said that I did not owe her anything. Not a penny. However, being the kind person that I am, I gave her my new Mazda 3 (it was in my name, but I bought it for her before I knew she was cheating, so I felt like I should give it to her). I also gave her $10,000 in cash so that she wouldn't be left destitute and poor. I felt that I owed her that much for living with me for the last 7 years.

Again: I didn't have to give her a penny according the the lawyers and the court.

By the way, she is asking my help in helping her fix up her job application resumes because she's a recent Ukrainian immigrant (9 years ago) and she says she still does not know english that well, so I'm trying to help her get a part time job while she's studying in schoo. Her new lover is also doing the same, trying to help her get a part-time job.
I haven't seen her for the last 4 days.

Every now and then she drops by and asks how the job applications are coming along.

Answer 1

Simple.Get all your stuff you wish to move and go.Let her deal with her own problems.She caused the mess let her clean it up.Now go live your life the way you want to.

Answer 2

I wonder how you still didn't lose your mind over this yet. I'd say give your 60 days notice and then move out, and leave her to get her ---- together. You are adults I suppose, mature, well off adults. She should understand that she is just using you for a house and monetary support while sleeping about with her new boyfriend. This is no good. I'd get so mad already. In this age marriage is not forever most of the time, so you can't really say or mean silly things like I'll support you forever no matter what. Now you are in a tough situation. She is with this other guy, has no job, lives at your house, uses your money and sleeps with this other guy. At lease she is going to school full time, I'd give her credit for that. She can get herself a part time job during those 60 days of your notice, continue going to school, and move in with her new boyfriend. You can move to the new place, and move on with your life.

You could support her monetary if you both had a child and you are now divorced. It's called child support and I think most of the time you have to pay it to the mother, or something to that extent.

I'd say, no matter how hard it could be on her or on you, if you feel guitly or not. Tell her that she should move in with her new boyfriend because you are getting youself a new place closer to work.

good luck.

Answer 3

This is really not a 'fate' the Yahoo Community can decide - not honestly because we don't have the full picture - only you do, but I really feel for you since you are 'divorced'. The thing I'd be interested in knowing - is WHAT DID THE DIVORCE PAPERS/COURT DECREE that you HAVE TO DO? If there are no stipulations in the divorce papers for you to continue to take care of your ex and provide for her, then you should run for the hills. Give your 60 day notice and get a new place. Let her know that you are going to be leaving and she will need to get some part time job or have her new lover take care of her needs. Legally, you no longer have any responsibility for her -especially since she is not courteous enough not to throw this lover in your face. That is the all time insult. This messes with your emotions. You made the promise 'when you married' and you are no longer married so your promise is not valid. She is taking total advantage of you and I would not allow one more day of this. You have been too nice. It would be different if she were really trying to handle her business and was doing her part, - but she seems to have no concern about you or your feelings - only your money. Get her out of your house and your system so you can move on. It's time for you to be concerned about yourself for a change. Good luck to you.

Answer 4

Been there done that!
I really do know where your comming from and why it is even a question, some would say this is a no brainer but you and I know it's a tough one.

you made a promise to someone who you loved when you made the promise and feel wrong about going back on it, Yet you can't figure out why you should continue paying her way if she is with someone else.

You need to sit her down and have a conversation (no fighting) and ask a few questions like:

Do you want to work this out, is this all designed to get us back together at some point?

Do you want him or me? I can't take care of an other man's woman.

If you think she is just using you, then tell her your taking your paycheck and leaving, if you think there could be more to it then maybe you should stay.

the fact is she has a boyfriend and want you to support her, your not going back on your promise if you cut the money off.

Answer 5

Well, she will be graduating in the fall right? Give her an ultimatum: let her know that you two both need to move on with your lives; therefore she will have to get a job. You will have to move on yourself because it seems that you are not happy with your curent situation. Tell her you are going to move out by the end of the month. By doing this, you can pay for the rent until the end of September.

When you move out, expect that she may ask you tp provide alimony or spousal support since she has no job and she probably gets a lower tax rate compared to you since you have a job.

Hope this works!

Answer 6

I choose option number 2. But, I wouldn't wait 60 days. I would leave right now and let her fend for herself. You are being too good-hearted. Why should you have to pay the bills while she is sleeping around with her new boyfriend? Has she ever heard of getting a part time job? I know people who work and study full time. It's not easy, but they manage to do it. She is just using you. I'm sure when you got married she made a lot of promises to you too which she has broken.

Answer 7

A great way to get your ex back is https://tr.im/YJivs

They might realize they need you and come crawling back!

If you do get back together, don't let the same issues that destroyed your relationship crop up again. Have a good, long talk about how you're both going to make it right this time.

Answer 8

Uh. She's cheated on you and broken her promise to you, so why is she expecting you to keep yours? I pick number 2. It's about time she grows up and discovers the real world. And since her new guy can't support her financially maybe she'll realize what a mess she's made out of the situation, and that she can't always expect the male in the relationship to pay the bills.

Answer 9

Worry about yourself because she's obviously not worried about you. She's willing to use you, no matter the consequence, to get what she WANTS. I would start looking for a new place if I were you. If you are giving 2 months notice to find a place then she should have plenty of time to get out of the appartment. If her guy's place is too small, maybe he should sell all of his furniture and when you move out, he can move in with her.

You have to deal with the reprocussions of the divorce while she runs around and does what she wants with who she wants. It's time for her to face reality and do the same by moving out and on....

Answer 10

Want to know how to get your ex back? Change yourself. Don't worry about changing other people, worry about changing yourself. Go to https://tr.im/4mL6h

Once you do that then you can start to worry about getting back together with your ex, other wise you will find that you are fighting about all the same things and getting no where. Do what it takes and I promise things will work out in your favor.

The funny thing is I came to the realization that I had to change a little too late. After I was kicked out and after I was about to lose the only things that truly mattered to me - her love. A funny thing happens when we truly love someone and lose them. We do what ever it takes to get them back. For me I had to drop bad habits that had caused not only our relationship to sour but practically every other relationship I had had in the past. Not only with women, but with friends, co-workers, family, you name it.

Which is why I say to you as my ex at the time said to me, the only thing you can do is change yourself. Work on yourself and improve on the person that you already are. Drop the negative things in your life that don't belong there and you will see all of your relationships start to take off to new heights.

Answer 11

You may of promised to support her forever but I am sure if you knew she was going to cheat on you that you would of never married her. So I think you should cuts all ties with her and take it as you have done more then enough for her. You owe her nothing it is time for you to move on and do your own thing.