Military wife I need some advice or someone to talk too?

Question

My husband and I are only 20 years old and his in the US navy as a corpsman. and he loves his jobs. I was woundering How do the wifes of Military men, How do you feel when you know what kind of job your husband has and you know the job you get or have isnt as high as your husbands. How does that make you feel. Does your husbands ever push you to do something great cause they know they did something great and they want you to do the same but that you would never be able to do what they did.

How do face the fact that your husband is higher then you how does that not bring you down.
Im going through a really hard time. I want to do something great with my life but knowing what my husaband job and what he does. I feel like If I do anything he wont be proud or that I will feel like I did something great with my life

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I was thiniking of joining after I graduated but then I met my husband he told me he was in the US navy and I see how much of an effect it has on him and how much it does stress him out and make him unhappy most of the time. I dont want to join cause I dont want to go through what he had to go through. Yes if I joined He would understand what Im going through but I dont want to do that to our family. We dont have kids but I dont want to do that to our marriage cause we have been only marrried for 4 months and I dont want to do that to our family.

Answer 1

PLEASE READ THIS~ Your job isnt less, me and my hubby met while we were both Marines, its to much on the family, and a strain on the realtionship if you decide to both stay military, do not join the military hon. Im still in the USMC. The stress of the two of you combined in the military could be bad. He got out for us, we talked it out over and over again. Now that hes out, at first he felt lesser but now that he has a job he loves and can contribute more to our home and we can plan having more children and he sees he is my piece of mind, he brings me back to normal world and life and it lets me escape from my military life. Your job isnt less. HES JUST IN THE NAVY, he isnt curing cancer or solving world peace, being in the military is rough but there are good days and bad. You are his wife, he has to be able to find comfort and compassion in you and sometimes even i as a woman, Marine, mom and wife i dont have it or its worn thin after work, im not blaming it on the military, ive been doing this for 9 yrs, in july, but you are valuable to him. Plus if his career were to end he'll be counting on you for awhile. SO think of this time and period in your life as an advantage, do research and find a job that is meaningful to you and then study for it, all jobs contribute to society, child care provider or social worker, human resources, a nurse...........apply yourself sounds like you are a concerned great wife and your husband knows it, have the faith in you your husband has, and you will have done something great with your life

Answer 2

Every person has their own destiny. Some people will be intellectuals, some healers, some workers, and more. A job is only as great as *you* make it. Do not feel inferior to his successes or career choices. Just concentrate on making yourself happy. Be there for each other, that is what couples do. There are other branches of the military to consider. Have you ever thought about the Air Force? I am in the Air National Guard. It's the best choice I ever made. It is NOT stressful at all. I am a 3c0x1 computer geek. There are so many jobs you can choose from. Feel free to look into it. Good luck!!

Answer 3

Well, I am in my late 20's and my husband is military police in the Air Force Reserves. Wow, I can feel your frustration, I wish I could talk to you in person... but

Like one of your other responses said, everyone has their calling. If yours is a nurses aid, cleaning elderly peoples butts and changing their sheets,,,, your job is no less important than his... It's just DIFFERENT.
You two have become ONE, that is hard to comprehend sometimes trust me, sometimes it still baffles me. But you're one so in God's eyes you two are side by side.
Don't know you rsituation but another example is...
If he worked in the military and you stayed home and raised your your children, kept the house up, did the laundry, prepared the meals, packed the lunches, bought the toilet paper, etc... your job is no less important than his.

And does your husband think that way? Or is that something that YOU feel? If it's just how you feel.... your at an age where you are trying to figure out what you want to do with your life....there is nothing wrong with you. Maybe you want to check out some websites that offer free assestment tests, to maybe give you an idea of jobs that would be of interest to you. I know I did it before and I discovered jobs I didn't know existed.... I am now going to college for my associates degree in criminal justice, and I LOVE IT!

Once you love (or even really enjoy what you do) you won't think or feel the way you do now.

I can tell you what, I am so happy when I can go to the prison (live near by) for whatever reason, to be around the men... I want to work with criminals to rehabilitate them.... and I can tell you I've gotten a lot of negative comments about it, and I don't care, I know where my heart is.

Sorry to get a little personal, but I just want you to know that you are not alone, and you won't feel like this forever. Take that from a 29 year old married (just shy of 2 years) woman, with her husband in the military.

Answer 4

everyone is meant to do their own thing and go their own way in life. this is true for jobs as well. don't ever feel like you have to follow in his footsteps just because you want to do something great as well. everyone also works at a different pace. some people achieve things faster than others so don't let that be a reason to get you down about the whole issue. take your time and get through your current job as best you can but in the meanwhile be figuring out what would make you happy and what would achieve this greatness you desire. if he really loves you he's proud of you even as you speak. however if he ever talks abusively to you about your goals or what your doing its probably a sign to seek counciling. a marriage won't last if both people aren't supportive of each other in anything either of them engages in. hope this helps :)

Answer 5

My husband and I are not in the military, but here's our situation: He is definitely the breadwinner. He is ok with that. All he wants is for me is to have a job that makes me happy. I was a chemist for a while, now I'm a stay at home mom. I'll be going back to work soon, but I'm planning on taking classes to get better directed for a field that I know will bring me satisfaction (and pay me better). It always pushes me to bring in a better paycheck knowing that he makes more, and somedays it feels as if he pays for everything, yet I halped save for me taking the time away from work. He reminds me that it's our money, not his, not mine. We do things as a team. But his success drives me to be more successful. Sometimes it's hard not to be down on myself, but I just try to be the best that I can be every day.

Answer 6

The main thing here is to focus, first you have to be very supportive of your husband, while on the other hand, you have your life and want to do something also. If you start competing with one another, in no time at all, your marriage will be a shambles. If you're not ready to start a family, then you should better your education while your husband is pursuing his career. If he decides to stay in the navy, he will have all the opportunities to better himself, so likewise you should be able to better yourself

Answer 7

oh i know the feeling, my boyfriend goes to a military academy and i go to a regular state college, and i definitely feel not as good as he is. he already has a job out of college, and yet i have to work so hard for maybe a job that i don't really like. just try you best to do what you can and be happy with yourself. if you are happy with where you are in life it will show no matter what you are doing. and your husband should be proud of whatever you do, he's your husband after all. good luck.

Answer 8

it rather is somewhat tricky. we've been married for some years and that i've got for this reason lived by way of many deployments in spite of the incontrovertible fact that it nevertheless upsets me whilst my husband gets a gleam in the attention whilst a sparkling deployment is mooted. we are VERY fortuitously married and it is tricky to hold close why he might choose to pass. He explains it as 'it is what i'm knowledgeable for, it is what I DO' and that i understand that there is a lifestyle in the army of being sorry for the rear occasion and those not deployable to the factor the place they're going to attempt to conceal up ailment or harm with the intention to proceed to be deployable. i've got self assurance so sorry for you American better halves and girlfriends. Your deployments are see you later and so usual and it is going to be extraordinarily tricky to have them away for see you later and then attempt to handle their returning once you have basically had them abode for a quick time. My view is that attempting to stand on your boyfriend's far greater than this may be like attempting to resign a prepare with a feather. My inventory answer whilst my husband says issues like this to me is; 'i'm a militia spouse. you already know i visit undergo it, and you already know i visit administration yet i might somewhat you probably did not pass!' i don't moan and that i don't nag. it is pointless. Your basically wish is that when an prolonged Op excursion your boyfriend would experience in yet in a diverse way on the tip of it.

Answer 9

Well, we were both in the military when we met and married, but I got out to raise our family. You are not a lesser person than him just becaues you dont serve in the Armed Forces and I am curious who put this notion in your head? I'm gonna send you a poem about the military wife. Read it and think twice about your expectations or insecurties.

Answer 10

Different things are important to different people. Find what makes you feel special and that is what you need to do. What he does is special in its own way. Just as if you choose what you wanted to do even if it is being a teacher or a nurse. Even just being a mother to your children can be the important job you do.