I'm in a long distance relationship with this guy that I absolutely adore, more than anyone. I love him so much but sometimes he doesn't think that I love him as much as he loves me. His past relationship I believe has had a lot of effect on him. He was with this girl for about 2/3 years on/off & they were always close & last year she commited suicide. At the time that happened he was in this relationship with me. Basically he sometimes feels like he's going to lose me or that he's scared that he will but I don't know why when I always reasure him because I know he needs it. I just really don't know what he's trying to say. I'm spilling my heart of to this guy & I'm willing to do anything & everything for him & for our relationship to progress. I asked him what I was doing wrong & he said that I wasn't doing anything wrong, I know I'm not doing anything wrong but then again I feel like I am. He keeps on playing these head games with himself & I just don't know what more I can do.. Help
2007-05-12 11:05:58 · 18 answers · asked by Brittny B 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
He needs professional councelling to help him get over his ex's suicide. Nothing you do or say will give him the help he needs. Suggest that he get professional help, and if he refuses, then you did all you could.
2007-05-12 11:12:01 · answer #1 · answered by allison b 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Long distance relationships are really hard but if you put your time and effort into one its not hard at all, you are a really good person for trying your hardest to help him out and if i were you i would continue doing that and not just that but maybe the both of you should get professional help one for him to realize that its not his fault for what happend and for two it would make the relationship stronger than it is now. I dont think he is playing "head games" with you, i think he is just plain scared to loose you like he lost his ex. Majority of the guys are scared of a strong commentment and the reasons are
#1 once they commit to us the relationship either changes or goes down hill
#2 we break there heart or dump them
#3we sometimes cheat on them
#4 death
and see each time that happens to a guy his heart brakes and brakes and keeps on and when they meet a wonderful lady who isnt going to do none of these things than it takes him forever to devolope a commited relationship with her.
Us ladies devolope a commited relationship alot faster than guys because for one we normally feel each guy is the same there going to brake your heart anyways so we might as well enjoy the fun while it lasts and when the fun keeps on lasting we keep on becoming more attached like you have gotten and we want to do everything possible to make the relationship work so the only suggestions i can give you is i think the both of you should seek professional help for this relationship. Good Luck
2007-05-12 11:39:19 · answer #2 · answered by mommyandbaby 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you say you love him as much as you do i think you should keep on lettin him know that you love him he needs help knowing that not all the girls are the same and that you are differents from that girl that he dated before...you should be patient on how he feels cause it ain't easy thinking that this time the stuff that happened to him before won't happen again you don't know what he has been through so don't judge him...you ain't doing anything wrong just don't let him get in your head that much try to help him but don't feel sad along with him cause then he won't have any help and he needs you to let him know you love him...GOOD LUCK!!!
2007-05-12 11:17:54 · answer #3 · answered by ***i <3 Mi BABi*** ^:J&K:^ 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He may not know what he is saying. He is going through a mixture of emotions that he may not know where to place them. You are doing everything that you can possibly do for him. Just let him know that you are here for him and that you will help him get through this. He may also want to consider talking to someone professionally or to a spiritual advisor. He may feel that there was something he could have done to save his ex, but unfortunately that was out of his hands. I am sure that he will be okay and that your relationship will grow stronger. Don't ever think that you are doing anything wrong because you are not. Good luck to you both and I will be praying for both of you!
2007-05-12 11:17:43 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Long distance relationships can not last forever if they remain long distance and that is for sure and for certain.
He is still going through a hard time about the suicide and all for one thing...that sounds like it is really messing with his head.
Long distance is why he needs reassuring all of the time.
Is there a way one of you can move to make the relationship work out...where you will be together and not apart...long distance...anymore?
If not, I don't think you have a very good chance of it working out in the end.
be cool...
2007-05-12 11:11:46 · answer #5 · answered by CC Babydoll 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
The impact that left him scarred when she committed suicide will always be in his mind and heart. he needs more time to reassure him self that he won't lose you the same way he lost her. he isn't over the hurt yet. . he is playing mind games with him self because he is not stable enough to feel free from the memory of her death. if you really love and care about him you will understand what he is going through; for some people they can adjust quickly in tragedy but he can't yet.
be patient and show him the love you have for him..
2007-05-12 11:17:19 · answer #6 · answered by StarShine G 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think that you should just talk to him more, and mabe meet up sometime, so you could talk with more emotion, and you could like, get a meal or somthing, of course its easy for me to say because I have no clue how far this long distance relationship is, and I wish the best for your relationship and you, hopefully you'll figure somthing out.
2007-05-12 11:12:59 · answer #7 · answered by Typewriter 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Im really sorry to hear this. That is really bummy. As you might notive from my questions im having trouble myself with relationships. Us men when we get out of a relationship we may seem all tough but when we really care about someone or gets dumped( even worse passing away) we are the biggest babies ever. after my last relationship it took me about 2 months so i would quit crying about it. its really hard when you fall for somebody so badly. we find girls are confusing and we just dont know what to do and we rack our brains full of crap and bring ourselves down by thinking about it so much and worrying. we jump to conclusions which makes it even worse. this probably doesnt help you i wish it did. relationships are probably the toughest things about life. i wish you the best of luck.
2007-05-12 11:13:03 · answer #8 · answered by ihavegivenup 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First he needs you, and then he would not...he in basic terms sounds at a loss for words. the wonderful factor which you're able to do is get him the help he needs, and easily teach him which you care approximately him, in any way obtainable. pass to, convey flowers, enjoying cards, suggestions, something to cheer him up. Deep down, he in all hazard does desire you. standard, conversing this entire factor out will earnings the the two one in each and every of you, he needs somebody to speak to, and you need to hear him to maintain this from happening returned. teach him the affection that he needs, lady! i'm hoping that each and every person seems nicely!!
2016-11-27 21:56:34 · answer #9 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yeah, this is really like same as my problem..exept his ex didn't commet suicide she cheated on him. as my boyfriend doesn't think he's worth me and that he's going to lose me, reausre tell him that you love and he will never lose you and you're always there for him, say it once,say it twice it will keep him ok. Have talks with him about how you feel and try and get him to understand that the way he feels is making you insecure, but you love him.
Sorry it sound rubbish adive but it'd worked with me.
2007-05-12 12:05:41 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋