Found this text on my hubby's phone to a woman I've never met but he apparently grew up with:?

Question

Hi How are you love you. No reply or anything, though I know they talk. He is pissed off at me for snooping on his phone (its happened before...I know I shouldn't but why do I always find something incriminating). He told me its just a joke, and he is always joking/flirty with women, and I know that so I should just accept it. I told him today that whether or not I know what his personality is like, I do not have to accept him saying that to other women, esp since our marriage is rocky right now, and I would love to here him say that to me. That got him even more upset, of course, and he told me that I can't tell him what to or not to do. He told me a few times that anyone he's talked to says that he should leave me because I didn't value his privacy and looked in his phone. I don't understand what the big deal is...I'm his wife, and he shouldn't have anything to hide. This has happened before, and I don't get how he has the right to be so mad at me when I found what I did.

Answer 1

Your hubby sounds like a cheater. I would keep a close eye on him. No man texts love you to another chick and doesn't mean it. That's never a joke.

Answer 2

You know the reason he's pissed off is not because you checked his phone, or not respect his privacy or whatever. It is because you found something he wouldn't want you to find. Same thing with teenagers when they do something their parents don't want them to. If that person is just some random person I don't think he would get upset.
But a husband who opened his mouth and said he shouldn't be with his wife is not worth a man. What he said right there shows that he doesn't value your love. I think you seriously have to talk to him about that. Ask him if he meant what he said or not. If he did, there is no reason to stick around someone like that.
Personally I'm a bit too proud being a woman. I don't understand how other women put up with their boyfriends or husbands' bad behaviors. If I were them I would just dump the guy. Guys like that are not worth our time. But that is just my personal view.

Answer 3

People need thier own private space and I guess you invaded his. If nothing is going on then he should not be as upset as if there were. You have to decide how upset he is. My wife can look at my phone anytime but I do not feel that as my private space. My tool box and my wallet are my spaces. I will let her see me go in which ever but what is there is mine. I do not snoop in her stuff but if I hear something and have a question I will ask. A relationship is a two way street and need to get to where you can trust each other or it will be a rocky road. If his phone was there and you looked then he should be able to answer questions about it. If it works in your relationship then let him or the next one know that a little prying is ok to keep things honest.

Answer 4

Your husband is getting shielding because of the fact he's conscious that he should not be doing what he's doing. If he's gloomy in with the marriage he could be attempting to be a jerk merely make you mad. regardless of his character he incredibly needs to be supportive of your emotions and choose a thank you to enable this woman understand that he cares for her yet without being insensitive to you. Did you have a reason to circulate interior the telephone or did you have a droop you're able to discover something.? in the journey that your husband has given you reason to think of you ought to difficulty then i've got self assurance you had a top to look, yet just to be nosy is yet another difficulty. possibly admit which you probably did not have a top to look yet say which you nonetheless sense offended which you discovered what you probably did. have him clarify why he thinks it quite is okay and get him to appreciate that it makes you uncomfortable. he has a top to be mad yet he must additionally be embarrassed that he's performing that way. GL

Answer 5

WOW! WOW! Did I say WOW!?

He doesn't really have the right to be mad. That is a tough one because I can understand the privacy rights... on the other hand if he feels he has the right to his privacy, than why don't you have the right to tell him he is way out of line talking to any woman joking or not (and the "joke" line is a bunch of crap). That it hurts you to know that he talks to other woman like he does.
HONEY, don't you let him make you feel like you should be apologizing to him for this, that is all he is trying to do is make you feel like you are the "bad guy" in all of this.

It's not the same situation, but I have had some trust issues with my husband, and he has lied to me in the past (this isn't about another woman) so IM sorry,,,, yes I did forgive him, but the damage has already been done, and I will probably never forget it, so every now and then I will check his cel to see recent calls, or check the computer after he's been on..... and I have to say, he hasn't been doing anything wrong. So I tell myself, well, there is no harm done here,,,, each time I have done that it is confirmation to me that he isn't doing things he shouldn't be, and I should draw strength and trust from that. If on the other hand I checked those things and he was out of line.... you better believe I have the right to say something to him...
IM sorry.... but the Bible says "your sin will find you out"
and that sucks when it happens to you but it is the honest to goodness truth.
Sounds like he is trying to be shallow about it.... this is my flesh talking so I don't know if you should really say it to him like this, but a way for him to get his head out of his rear end.... if he came home and found a sexy letter from a guy you work with laying on the counter, or sees a chat room where you and another guy have been having conversation for a few hours (sexual or not), then he has no right questioning you about it right? I mean that is yours and it's private?

WRONG! Boy I'd like to give this guy a kick in the pants... not litterlely,, but a wake up call!!! COME ON YOU ARE HIS WIFE! He has no business talking to woman like that or flirting, that is why he married you, because he loved you and wanted only you, and gave you his heart that he doesn't want anyone else... because nobody else can compare to you.....
Sure things get tough, life happens... where did all the love go?
I've not even been married quite 2 years yet, and sometimes I ask myself that. I don't know how long you have been married, but it's commitment, and work. Maybe you two need some time alone, some quiet romantic time, where you can talk and just be with one another. Tell him how this is hurting you. Make a few date nights with him, and on these dates try not to talk about your problems, and let him know that too, just go be together and enjoy eachother, maybe talk about how you two were when you met and your wedding, remines on the good times.
Seems like sometimes if you make the effort to put aside all of lifes problems, you can see eachother in a much better way, you see the better side, the side you fell in love with, the side you are still in love with. You realize that you two do enjoy spending time together.
Ask him if he feels like he isn't getting what he needs at home, it may be hard to take what he says but if it's something that with a little effort on your part can make him sataisfied, it's worth it....
YOUR MARRIAGE IS WORTH IT.

Be strong

oh and one more thing after reading some of the other responses you've got...
what is the matter with people, this is your marriage, you don't just quite! He has done something wrong (his communication with other woman) but you don't know if he has actually cheated, and if he has then only you know if you can in time truley forgive him or if you can't... then you have a life changing decision to make. Otherwise -
Get some help, some counseling, to help get you two communicating in a positive EFFECTIVE way towards eachother, don't just throw him out like yesterdays garbage, or stoop down to his level and do the same thing to him.

Answer 6

I have been in the same situation girl!What you see is exactly what you suspect he is cheating.I never cheated but when I saw the first sign I became the best damn investigator there was,in two days I found out all I needed to know.I know this is your husband but I wouldnt stay around cause the longer you do it will continue.He says you shouldnt look tell him to stop giving you a reason,I say play his game whats good for the goose is good for the gander.Find you friends text them he will stop if not youll be having fun just like him.Believe me hell stop cause he has competition now.

Answer 7

The trust is gone and it seems for good reason. It is obvious that he is hiding things from you and you should not accept that from him. Girl, you need to rethink what is important you and then act on it. Personally, I would leave him if this has happened before. He feels like he can get away with stuff so stop putting up with it.

Love is wonderful but don't be stupid.

Sandy

Answer 8

Those god dam* text msgs on husbands cell phones. Thats how I discovered my husbands affair and it seems thats how alot of women discover it. Men are so stupid and think we are stupid-er...lol! Open your eyes woman! You said your marriage is rocky and he's getting attention from a lady friend. If it walks like a duck, quacks like a duck, it MUST be a duck. He's guilty.

Answer 9

Sounds like there are other issues in the marriage. You need to start preparing for a relationship change. It does not appear he is committed to this one..

Answer 10

it might have been the worng number but if he had said she was a old friend umm..but if he had grew up with her why didnt he ever tell you about her..