The other day in the mail we recieved an invitation to his cousins wedding reception (this is his mom's sisters daughter and there are only three cousins on that side) telling where it would be and a note as to where they are registered but no invitation to the wedding. I asked where the wedding was and it is in the same town as the reception (20 mi. away). Since we were not invited to the wedding I do not feel that we are required to go to the reception (even though they grew up together) or bring a gift. I guess I have hurt feelings about not being invited to the wedding. Does she have the right to be offended if we don't go and do not get them anything?
2007-05-12 10:02:07 · 14 answers · asked by bobbijoslin 4 in Social Science ➔ Gender Studies
Yeah, I think going to the reception isn't so bad, anyway, for the free food and cake and things, even if you do have to drop them $20 in a card with a couple balloons. It's true, like one other respondent noted, that people rarely ask as many guests to attend the actual wedding as they invite to the reception. If it is a small and personal wedding, they probably had to sacrifice a few guests they would have otherwise liked to have.
2007-05-12 10:20:15 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Perhaps you could call his mom and find out the details about why no wedding invite. Maybe they are getting married before a judge at city hall or something like that. They may want that moment quiet. Maybe they already got married. My son and his girl, had family in Hawaii, Oregon, Texas and NY, so they got married at a drive through by an Elvis impersonator in Las Vegas. Then they went around and visited all the kinfolk. No reception, no wedding, just love. Call and find out what is the deal with the wedding, it's probably nothing personal or anything to do with you.
2007-05-12 17:44:56 · answer #2 · answered by sashali 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
She maybe assumed that no one wants to drive that far. Or maybe she wants the service to just be immediate family.
It is ok to ask her. Please don't be defensive bout it.
I had a best friend whos son got married, I felt very hurt that I wasn 't invited. Then she mentioned that the wedding was in a different state and it was pretty much a shot gun wedding.
Ah.......then I totally understood why I wasn't invited.
Don't make this a stressor or you might cause a family fight.
Actually the reception is nicer than the wedding.
Maybe you can say...I got the invitation to the reception and not to the wedding, did you forget to enclude that in the envalpoe. Then she might say, that only parents and her bro and sis are invited to that. Well, that makes sense then.
Please don't start a familly war that can affect generations in the future
2007-05-12 17:38:02 · answer #3 · answered by clcalifornia 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well, there could be circumstances that brought this about. There may only be a certain amount of room where they are getting married but they did not want to just leave you out all together so they invite you to the reception. A little strange I know but it happens a lot. You are in no way "required" to do anything when you receive an invitation to anything.
2007-05-12 17:08:13 · answer #4 · answered by Moose 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
No she does not have the right to be offended. She is probably having a small wedding, but a big reception. Typically I think this is only done with destination weddings (coming home and having a reception).
But I think it would be nice of you to send something, even if it were something inexpensive...don't create friction if you don't have to.
2007-05-12 18:09:56 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
The wedding part is boring anyway, they invited you to the fun part. They are probably just having a small wedding. Or they forgot to include the invitation. Just be the mature one and go.
2007-05-12 17:15:10 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Many people have weddings that are small and larger receptions for economic reasons.
If you love this couple, go to the reception.
If you don't go, it could turn into one of those situations that leaves bitterness in the family for years.
Good on you for asking this question!
Good luck
2007-05-12 21:09:03 · answer #7 · answered by Croa 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just go to the reception and enjoy yourself. Maybe there are reasons that this couple want to keep the ceremony itself small. Frankly I would be glad to not go to the wedding part.
2007-05-12 17:28:03 · answer #8 · answered by goldensparkler61 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
There likely wasn't enough room at the wedding and they still think highly enough to want you to spend time with them on their special day. Is it worth it to ruin a friendship over a belief that may not even be accurate. I always ask my children, "do you want to be right or do you want to be happy"?
2007-05-13 08:01:45 · answer #9 · answered by Deirdre O 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
stick a tenner in the card. It's better than nothing but they will understand automatically the reason behind this. They didn't invite you to the wedding, you didn't make an effort!
2007-05-12 18:19:15 · answer #10 · answered by sonj 1 · 0⤊ 2⤋