As a gay man I can say I'm still suffering. This overwhelming feeling of intolerance, rejection, name-calling still brings me down , but less than before. I mean I finally accepted myself last year, and accepted that my homosexuality is a part of me that I can never give up, just like my body organs. I have to hear & see people on, at least, weekly basis, saying the nastiest things about us, but I don't answer back, fearing that they would overpower me. I can't understand why can't people just accept us for who we are. My feelings ate me for over 6 years; I tried to change myself just for the sake of the society, my parents, friends etc. I still have to put up with being considered as a minority, abnormal,sick, God hates you and all these things. And although I became completely convinced that I am normal and there's nothing wrong with me, I realized that the great need that burdens my chest: ACCEPTANCE. And I won't lie if I said that more than once I wished if I just die. (Not suicide, don't worry). But I just keep asking myself over and over again: What did I do to have such a terrible fate and live in such an intolerant world? Am I really bad for being gay? I can't change it...I'm no murderer, rapist or a thief...I just like men, how in God's name can this hurt anyone? Don't I deserve to be happy? - Sorry for the mood, I just had to say stuff, makes me feel comfortable since there's no one I can talk to about this...
2007-05-12 09:56:04 · 20 answers · asked by Anonymous in Society & Culture ➔ Cultures & Groups ➔ Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender
I don't know if I should chime in here hon, but I want you to know I care about you. I'm really so proud of my gay brothers and sister. They stand up to something every day and I will never know the courage that it takes.
It seems like every generation has "a group" that has to fight for their right to exist. So many groups have been maligned. Native Americans, blacks, Jews. Why do we as a species have to find some group to pick on? It boggles my mind.
As you go through your day, I hope you can take comfort in the army of people that are behind you, and care as much about your gayness as they care about your eye color. This number of fair-minded people grows every single day.
Since you were so honest, I will be equally honest. When I was a fundy, I too was a homophobe. It's my deepest regret from my fundy years. Let me tell you, I make up for it now. NOBODY gets to say anything homophobic around me and go away unscathed now. :)
{{{ty}}}
2007-05-12 11:36:11 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 9⤊ 0⤋
The world is slowly changing for the better, really. It's just hard to see, and it goes way too slow.
I have a lot of gay friends (I like going to gay bars, because it's the only place where I, as a hetero guy, can have a normal talk with a girl, without her thinking that I wanna get into her pants, lol), and I've seen all those gay friends struggle with this. And I hate it.
In Holland we had some Christian schools in a town called Staphorst (one of the last fundie towns we have) that wanted a new, special dictionary for the kids. It was just like the normal dictionary, but without horrible words like condom, prostitution, gonnorhea, drugs and homosexuality. Of course happy words like genocide, war, racism and murder were still allowed.
All I could see was that 13 year old boy, sitting in his room, struggling with his homosexual feelings. He wouldn't even have a place in the dictionary anymore. Thank goodness the authorities didn't allow this nonsense.
I know, it's a silly little example, but discrimination is also in the details. It sickens me, really.
If I could change the world faster, I'd do it, really. I wish you good luck. Just remember that there are also many, many normal people, who simply accept others the way they are.
2007-05-12 11:21:07 · answer #2 · answered by ? 6 · 5⤊ 0⤋
I'm a Roman Catholic, actually. And extremely flamboyant. I know some people say you can't pick and chose which laws you can obey. But there comes a point when you must be able to tell the difference between when a law is made in good conscience and when it is made in fear. Hell, when the United Colonies (USA) tried to deny taxes being set forth by Britain (Before they declared independence) Britain laid down laws that said the colonies couldn't do anything that violated British rule, or they would be killed on the spot with no questions asked. Does that sound reasonable? Neither does denying inalienable rights. idc who you are, some things are yours by virtue of being human. And fyi, that is why the USA declared Independence. B/c they thought it was bull $**** to deal with that. How do you like that ;D?
2016-04-01 08:26:25 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
*sighs* I think it'd be a lie to say that there's a single lgbtq person out there who hasn't ever felt bad for being gay. How could that be possible, with the whole barrage of negativity from all sides? It's not even the total strangers who hate me without even knowing who I am that gets to me. What really hurts is when I meet seemingly nice people who either find out I'm bi and get all weird about it or make some stupid homophobic comment. The world just doesn't seem to be running out of homophobes. But neither is it running out of good kind people who are (gasp) straight and aren't homophobic. I know, hard to believe. But it's true. I've even met some. And the lgbtq community is all going through the same process, and here to help you through. So despite all this hate in the world, I really believe that things are getting better. Much luck to you.
2007-05-12 10:21:50 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 5⤊ 0⤋
I struggled with being gay even though it was obvious to some people that i am, listening to what other people thought about me being gay messed me up because I got to a point of self-destruction. I had low-self esteem and was extremely depressed. Even though i've accepted being gay, I still have a long way to go to feel content with myself. I even had a gay friend and relatives who were gay too and I refused to come out mainly scared of how people would think of me and if they'll do something to be mean towards me just because I am gay.
2007-05-12 18:08:51 · answer #5 · answered by What'd You Say? 6 · 3⤊ 0⤋
You must love yourself and be accepting of who YOU are before you can expect anyone else to! Never ever apologize for what makes your "heart smile"...If being gay is who you are then be you! Never let another persons intolerance define who you are! Ultimately only you can make yourself happy...so GO FOR IT!
Good Luck and Best of Wishes!
P.S. "When fate shuts the door in your face, crawl through the window"... never let anything or anybody bring you down =)
2007-05-12 10:37:23 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
Yes, I do sometimes still, so I can empathize with you.
I grew up being told repeatedly how sick, abnormal, disgusting, evil, and what an abomination to god LGBT are. Really does wonders for one's self esteem eh? When I was a Christian I literally hated myself all because I was attracted to the same sex. When I did finally come out to someone who I thought was my friend, I got told how disgusting I was. (Needless to say that ended that friendship.) So it took a few more years to come out to my mom because I was terrified of not being accepted. I was very relieved at her reaction, she was genuinely happy for me and she apologized for putting me in a Christian school because she now realized what harm it did. So that really meant a lot to me. I am glad I came out to her before she passed away because for years I kept it a secret.
I'm the black sheep of my family though, I've always wanted them to accept me, but they never really have. I don't share their faith and I'm not straight. It seems like the only ones who did accept me, have died. It really makes me feel alone sometimes. And this extends to the rest of the world too. There's just so much hostility and bigotry out there.
2007-05-12 10:59:29 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 5⤊ 0⤋
I think a lot of us have been there....
I struggle for years before coming out. when I finally "came out" to myself at 18...I didn't know 1 soul who was gay/lesbian. I lived at home and was in college...worked part time and made little money. I heard the horror stories of how some teens were thrown out of the house after coming out to their parents. so, I kept that to myself for years, until long after I had moved out and got my own place. I got a computer, and found some chat sites where I talked to people, and didn't feel alone anymore. I started meeting people, and gaining self confidence. I finally came out to friends, coworkers, and not until 3 years ago, came out to my family. If we listen to the bigots and believe what they are saying all the time and believe that garbage...we're sure to suffer for a long time. I have a wonderful partner, friends and family who are supportive. and I don't give a flying rat's @ss what the bigots think anymore....because I know they are just ignorant. God created and loves us all!
2007-05-12 10:22:16 · answer #8 · answered by redcatt63 6 · 7⤊ 0⤋
yes, for awhile i was just totally bitter at the world but then i met the most wonderful girl, and she just totally changed my whole attitude. heh it's kinda wierd how i went from a total cynical sarcastic vengful b*tch to this sort of mellowed down anti-hate 'love everybody' type of person, all by meeting this one girl, it's awesome really.see, one person really can change your life.
you can't focus on listening to hate, you have to focus on love, the people who care about you and love you for who you are, the people who you can talk to whenever you feel down, the people who are open minded and see EVERYONE as human beings and the people who are fighting to overcome this hatred and bring the world to it's senses, the people who are fighting for change, for a more loving tolerant and accepting world. that is what you have to focus on. if u ever need to talk i'm here, just add me to ur contacts and i'll get the idea, lol. i know what it's like to needs acceptance. trust me, look around you, you'll see it soon enough.
2007-05-12 10:25:27 · answer #9 · answered by choux pastry heart 5 · 6⤊ 0⤋
I didn't really struggle.. I was in denial for a long time tho. Well I'm still..in the closet somewhat..just my closest friends know.
People are just ignorant. Willfully ignorant and it pisses me off. It's like this.. We don't concern ourselves with who u ****... so why don't u do us the same courtesy?
They can't see that we are perfectly normal. We're not monsters. They see us as defective. Tell us we need Jesus. I saw someone post on this bicurious girls yahoo answer post.. that she needed counseling.
Infuriated the hell out of me.
hey, If you wanna talk to me, i'll be more than willing to listen..send me an email and we can talk.
*Maya*
2007-05-12 10:12:50 · answer #10 · answered by May Ann 3 · 8⤊ 0⤋