why would I get told to seek therapy on the question I pose, were they referring to mental, or divorce help?

Question

If you cant be sincere, please dont answer

Here is the question.

If I divorce and if my wife remarries should not I give up my parental rights?

I feel that it could be the right thing to do. just because I gave the seed to bring her into this world, doesn’t mean I'm a true father. a true father is one who is always their for the child to take care of her.

if a new man comes into her life, and truly loves her and takes care of her, then she could believe that he is her father. Given that she is young enough and susceptible to call a new man in her life father.

Why should a guy like me, come into her life every once in a while and tell her I love her. Soon the relationship could fade and she could loose me and who I am, even though I will take advantage of all the time that visitation rights will allow me to be with her.

I will speak of the future as it is past tense, here it goes.


Why should a man she once knew as a father and now hardly knows come into her life every once in a while and tell her he loves her when she is trying to establish a clear and full relationship with a good man who she may call father. Does not that seem to mix up emotions and make things more difficult.

What if, it is the right thing to do in some instances, to live and let live. If only that child can forget the dad that was once in her life, and allow the dad in her life to be her true father. Does not that make since to promote emotional peace in that child. To allow her the right to develop a love for the father that is in her life.

My question poses a very complex and detailed issue, for which it would be easy to pass off judgment and say something to the effect that any one who gives up parental rights is a coward.

By the way, I have come to terms with the situation, and I am going to fight for the custody of my child. If I cant get it, then I will fight for partial custody of her

and if I can only have visitation rights, then I will fight to see her every chance I can get.

Answer 1

No matter where you are or where you go you will always be Daddy. The child will not forget EVER! The child sounds lucky to have a stepdad that cares. Its not always that way. Sometimes, it starts out great with a stepparent and ends up a nightmare. More often than not a step parent will become the object of a childs contempt when they reach certain ages, especially if they want their parents together. Many times a step parent just cannot feel the same as if it were their own child.

There are so many outcomes that can happen and you will not know what it is until it happens. If it turns out bad wouldn't you kick yourself to find out years later you were not there to support the child or just help.

Children need love and acceptance. The more people there are to do this the better off and more balanced a child will be.

But... if you feel in your own heart you could live without her and not be bothered by it on a daily basis she may be better off in the long run. Either way don't fool yourself into thinking it would be better if you diappearred. Noting could be farther from the truth!

For anyone who may take offence at my feeling on step parents... I have known many very good ones. Truth be told that is not usually the case. It can be like when you are first dating, a person can be so kind and sweet and it is usually much later when you start to see how they really are.

We all put up fronts when we are in the beginning of relationships. The unfortunate truth is sometimes what is there when the fronts come down is not always good. We as adults have to take precautions when we take our children into those relationships. It can truely be the things nightmares are made of in some cases. But... you won't know until you know...

Answer 2

a guys point of view............brad............sounds as if yu have a real plan now...what i was reading seemed to me as the words of a coward...as if you didnt want to stand up and do the right thing for your daughter...but after reading the last paragraph i must commend you for your courage...speak with your ex-wife and arrange joint-costody of your daughter...this way neither of you can take her away for the other...stay in this little girls life brad she needs you as much as you need her...and as time rolls on you and your ex will see this...and belive it or not when she sees you keeping your promises (no matter what you have to give up) there will be a new found resoect there...keep your little girl close to your heart and share your life in the fullest with her...help raise her...mom will appriciate it in the long run...be safe...be kind...and i wish you love...

Answer 3

If you ever do have kids, you would never ask this question.

This is not a real scenario, no man would want to give up his kids unless he was all jacked up and knew it. It just wouldn't happen.

Sorry but you need to come up with plausible question at least.