see these lyrics and tell me how to improve it?

Question

I am fead up
Sometimes I am just fead up sometimes I just want to end it all (end it all )
Because I have never had one of those moments where your very happy and your on top of the world (top of the world ) because I never followed my heart I thoat about every step that I took and I always asked for the way and didn’t follow my gut and I regret that , that’s why I am just fead up that’s why sometimes I just want to end it all every step I took I regretted it and I always want to go back in time and correct what it some times I just feel that every thing wrong happened because of me and because I didn’t follow my heart and now I fell like I should be locked up so nothing wrong happens again and now I am just screaming help me to stop this madness help to stop this madness and I fell like I have the fate of the world on my shoulders and that’s why I am just fead up that’s why I just want to end it all

Answer 1

Not bad. Sounds urban with heavy beat. And, you need to run spell check on it.

You need to give it some structure to make the lyrics stand up on their own without any music. Watch how you break up the lyrics with this piece I wrote called Somebody Shot John:

SOMEBODY SHOT JOHN, NOBODY KNOWS WHO DID IT
SOMEBODY SHOT JOHN, THEN HAD TO RUN AND HIDE
SOMEBODY SHOT THIS MAN; THEY MAY NOT REGRET IT
JOHN TOOK A BULLET, AND WE KNOW IT WASN’T SUICIDE

IT DOESN’T MATTER WHO MADE THE MASTER PLAN
SHAME ON THE PRESS, SHAME ON THE CAMERAMAN
IT DOESN’T MATTER ABOUT COLOR, JUST LET HIM BE
SHAME ON THE SKINHEADS, AND NAACP
IT’S TOO LATE NOW – ONE YOUNG MAN IS GONE
IT’S TOO LATE NOW – SOMEBODY SHOT JOHN

SOMEBODY SHOT JOHN, PEOPLE ARE ASKING WHY
SOMEBODY SHOT JOHN, ANOTHER HOMICIDE
AN INTERRUPTED JOURNEY, A GIFT THAT PASSED US BY
REASON HAS FAILED US AS THE VIOLENCE OVERCAME THE PRIDE

IT DOESN’T MATTER HOW THE MURDERER WENT BAD
SHAME ON THE JUSTICE SYSTEM, SHAME ON HIS MOM AND DAD
IT DOESN’T MATTER WHO SOLD THE KILLING GUN
SHAME ON THE LOBBYISTS, SHAME ON THE BUSINESSMEN
IT’S TOO LATE NOW – JOHN'S SIX FEET UNDERGROUND
IT’S TOO LATE NOW – SOME LOSER GUNNED HIM DOWN

THE QUESTIONS MEAN NOTHING.... THE QUESTIONS MEAN NOTHING

SOMEBODY SHOT JOHN, IT WAS A CRIME OF HATE
SOMEONE PULLED THE TRIGGER, NOW HIS WHOLE LIFE IS SPENT
SOMEBODY CHEATED HIM, TWISTING THE HANDS OF FATE
NO ONE CAN HELP HIM NOW, THE CHANGES ARE ALL PERMANENT

IT DOESN’T MATTER WHAT IT WAS HE STOOD FOR
SINCE HE CAN’T SUPPORT HIS CAUSE ANYMORE
IT DOESN’T MATTER ANYMORE ABOUT ANYTHING
A HEARTBEAT IS FROZEN, A LIFE WAS LOST IN VAIN
IT’S TOO LATE NOW – THE BLOOD IS HARD AND RED
IT’S TOO LATE NOW – BECAUSE THIS MAN IS DEAD

THE QUESTIONS MEAN NOTHING.... THE QUESTIONS MEAN NOTHING

Answer 2

Well, it looked like lyrics in the beginning. But then it turned into a rant. Beyond the obvious poor spelling, it also lacks in timing. There is no cadence to it. You've got a lot of work ahead of you if you hope to make this into lyrics. Try following some basic poetry rules to begin the process, and remember that music is fitted into rhythmic phrases.

Answer 3

without knowing the genre it's hard to say.

(Wouldn't work well as country, but fits well as emo.)

Is there a chorus there? It's hard to tell without line breaks where things pause. (Music lyrics are really just poetry, and I'm not getting that here.)

More info would be helpful.

Answer 4

get an English dictionary and use proper English with the right punctuation...

Answer 5

i think its pretty good