When you attend a funeral, do you prefer an open casket/viewing, where you can see the deceased person lying there? Or do you prefer the casket to be closed, with nothing to see?
Personally, I think it's ghastly to have an open casket! I'm not trying to offend anyone, just stating my opinion. Here's my reasoning: The last time you see your now-deceased friend or loved one is going to be "burned into" your memory for a long time, or maybe even forever. So, isn't it better to hold onto an image of the person when they were real, natural and ALIVE, rather than embalmed, made-up and DEAD?
That's the way I see it anyway. I'm not saying everyone has to agree. I'm just explaining why I feel so strongly against open caskets. I never want my last memory of someone to be as unnatural as it is with an open casket. *shudder* And on top of everything else, I also think open caskets can be scary and confusing to young children.
I'd love to know how you feel on this topic, and why. Thanks!
2007-05-12 06:26:14 · 18 answers · asked by scary shari 5 in Society & Culture ➔ Other - Society & Culture
LAST-MINUTE EDIT: Time for me to pick a Best Answer, but first I wanted to compliment my 7 fave responses, since it's so HARD to pick just one! They are, in alphabetical order: Aaron W, brevejunkie, Brittany, H.A, jaicee, kyra k, and mamabear.
I wish I could give all of the above folks best answer! :) But I can't....
2007-05-20 05:21:12 · update #1
I think that is a personal matter between the deceased and his/her family, when they plan for their deaths.
Some people prefer to put a very good photo near a closed-casket, and others want to see the person.
Most wakes I've been to over the years have been open casket--except where an accident made that impossible. One person had lost a tremendous amount of weight, and did not look at all like he had just a few months prior to dying--but most did look like themselves.
I started attending wakes and funerals as a child, and was never scared by them. I was more frightened when I needed to visit someone who was cremated indoors in a mausoleum--that spooked me, though the outdoor graves did not.
2007-05-12 06:34:36 · answer #1 · answered by Holiday Magic 7 · 4⤊ 0⤋
Generally, and for that matter, all the funerals I have ever attended the casket is closed during the service. It is open in the viewing room during the wake, or viewing prior to the actual funeral service, so that people can see the deceased. It is done so that people can witness the death, so to speak, as otherwise, it could be anyone or no one in the casket. Wedding are witnessed and the open casket is serving the same notice to the public that this person is dead. There are times when the casket cannot be open due to the severity of the death via fire, wreck or some other tragic happening, but, not often. I too like to remember the person when alive, but I don't mind saying my goodbyes to them again at the wake/viewing.
2007-05-18 08:10:46 · answer #2 · answered by H. A 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Having only attended one funeral where there was any casket at all, I'm probably not an expert. But I didn't mind the open casket. I still have far more images in my memory of my friend while he was alive, than my last glimpse of him. It was a little hard to relate to the calm, still figure lying in state, because my friend was very vibrant. So I guess I've chosen to remember my friend, not that guy in the box.
As far as scary or confusing for children...It might actually make death less frightening if they see their lost one in this peaceful state. My grandfather passed away when I was 8, and all I remember from his funeral was staring at a little, gold-foil covered box. It didn't seem right...and I'm all for cremation. I think that if he hadn't died in such a perfect setting for him, I would've wanted to be able to say good-bye.
2007-05-12 06:40:32 · answer #3 · answered by kaylora 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
It really depends on how the death happened, and what the person that passed away wants. Also, the family & close friends usually decide.
The first open casket funeral I attending was my Grandmas, I was about 12. At first I thought it was wierd, but I was happy I could say goodbye. Even though she was gone, her body was still "hers" and I looked at it from that perspective. Now that I'm in my 20's, I've been too a couple of funerals, and I handle it okay. As far as the image being burned into my mind, it's not, I can remember it - but the memories are burned into my mind much deeper.
Also, when your body is dead, it is STILL YOUR BODY.
As far as it scaring children, I feel that you shouldnt hide death from them.
2007-05-12 06:29:20 · answer #4 · answered by Brittany 2 · 4⤊ 0⤋
Seeing the dead is closure. Seeing the dead makes that person's death real to us. In Western society people tend to be afraid of death and the dead, which is a harmful and unrealistic attitude. All life comes to an end. It is natural. Seeing the dead helps us face our own mortality. Facing and accepting our own mortality can help us understand the fragility and preciousness of life. When we accept the fragility and preciousness of life, we tend to strive to live a life of honor and integrity. If we really look with eyes that see, viewing the dead also gives us an opportunity to see with our own eyes that the person we knew is not that dead body, that she or he was indeed more than that body. Viewed thus, a dead body has a gift for the living. Looking at the dead is difficult but necessary, edifying, and part of the healing process.
2007-05-12 06:46:33 · answer #5 · answered by jaicee 6 · 3⤊ 0⤋
I go with what the family is doing, either way is fine with me. I don't mind looking at the deceased and touching them too. But I also know they are gone if the casket is closed. I myself want to be cremated and not looked at while I am dead!
2007-05-12 06:44:14 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
It is NOT mandatory to look at the deceased. There are sesveral who feel the same as you, and they don't look. If the person died a tragic death, then by all means, closed casket. I was the very last one to see my dad in his casket, in fact I'm the one who closed the lid. My dad and I were very close, and I'm glad I got to see him "resting there". So, again, it depends on the indvidual.
2007-05-12 06:30:20 · answer #7 · answered by johN p. aka-Hey you. 7 · 3⤊ 0⤋
The open casket is almost unique to the United States. Most European cultures prefer a closed casket.
Myself, I prefer a closed casket for the same reasons you mentioned. I think people attach too much sentimentality to the body of the deceased person, and that's why they display it at a funeral.
For me, a funeral is an opportunity to remember and to say good-bye. The committal or burial of the body is just a necessary task to me, like taking out the trash.
2007-05-12 06:35:06 · answer #8 · answered by Aaron W 3 · 4⤊ 4⤋
when i die, i'd like to be in an open casket looking like a goddess lol.
personally, it doesn't matter to me whether the casket is open or closed, unless there are other things to consider (like if the deceased was brutally murdered/died from a fatal, viral disease) if you really love someone and he died, you won't even be saddened that he was embalmed/made-up/and other morbid things but by the fact that after the wake and the service, you won't ever see him again.
2007-05-12 06:45:23 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
This is a decision for the family to make.
My mother was in a closed casket - this was my fathers wish.
My grandmother was in an opened one, my mom's wish.
Italians prefer open caskets. Swedish prefer them closed...
2007-05-12 06:33:21 · answer #10 · answered by Angell 6 · 3⤊ 0⤋