i think he should split the day between spending time with me and spending time with them. he leaves at noon and comes back at bedtime. we live 20 minutes apart from his folks which means i spend my holiday alone. i do want him to visit. but i also want him to make some time with me. i think he is punishing me because i wont go and therefore he wants me to feel bad. and alone. also my kids then i dont get to see for any holiday even christmas. i think my husband is choosing his family over me and i resent him for this. i usually go out eat-read a book do shopping and go to a movie. i sure wish that i had someone to spend the holidays with. actually i have told my hubby to just go move in with his mamma.
he doesnt get to sleep in my bed for past 6 years. mostly because i hate him. like i said why cant he split up the holiday. its like he says you want to be with me you go to my mammas. its like i say you want to have sex with me than you give me some holiday time. l
2007-05-12 05:33:53 · 15 answers · asked by WORKING OLDER SMARTER BLONDE 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Okay you have other issues going on in your marriage besides holiday time. Seriously get yourselves to counseling.
"he doesnt get to sleep in my bed for past 6 years. mostly because i hate him"
Ya that about sums it up. Go to therapy. Go. Go now. Run don't walk.
2007-05-12 05:43:37 · answer #1 · answered by Poppet 7 · 0⤊ 2⤋
i actually do in contrast to this. i'm a militia spouse and whether I even have an entire time profession and hence a sturdy earnings, my husband is often obsessed with with the intention that each and every little thing is financially organised earlier he deploys, and that his earnings is introduced into our joint account to which I even have finished get admission to. Your husband is treating you like a small new child and that i'm undecided that he's no longer mendacity to you approximately your bills being 'incompatible'. I run a corporation and that i can pass money into any account, everywhere interior the international on the touch of a button. My husband even ensures that I also have a 'glide' of a number of thousand pounds in our savings account so as that I even have prompt get admission to to money if there is an emergency. Your husband is controlling you by using this, and is no longer worried approximately offering properly for his kinfolk even as he's far. which would be an excellent purple flag to me.
2016-12-17 10:47:54 · answer #2 · answered by deibert 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am sure you have your reasons for not wanting to go to your in laws and if it is a logical reason than he needs to learn how to compromise. It prolly would be easier if you could just visit his mama with him for a few minutes, but I understand if that is out of the question. He needs to realize the situation and try to make the best out of it. It isn't fair to hog the kids on the Holidays. I would personally tell him that the kids can visit for a couple of hours but then I want them home with me. And if he wants to return back to his family without the kids than so be it. And I also understand that it is hard to have sex with someone when you are totally pissed off at them.. Hopefully you two can come to a mutual agreement for the kids, I'm sure they would like to spend time with you too. Good luck.
2007-05-12 05:45:29 · answer #3 · answered by DarkStar 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Dear working, 1st the statement that stands out here is "I hate him" if that is true then why are you still with him. and why would you want to spend holiday time with him? You should be complaining about holiday time with your kids...since you are obviously punishing each other with time spent together& apart, then go all the way to court and get court ordered holiday time with your kids..from experience in the in-law area of my marriage, I dont go either but I get equal time I get the quality time i come first! for instance on mothers day they will be together on saturday and I will have my husband and kids on sun.the actual holiday. the bible says for this reason a man will leave his father & mother and be united to his wife & they will become one flesh>>> my husband is my best friend and has told my inlaws the he will defend me to the end..But he loves them dearly and I wont stand in the way of that love..
also says: do not deprive each other except by mutual consent come together again so that satan will not tempt you.
2007-05-12 06:38:16 · answer #4 · answered by camero 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Being married means that sometimes one has to
take the good with the bad. Since he is always go-
ing to his parents house during the holidays and
you complain about being alone, go with him on an
alternate basis, one holiday go and another not.
He is not going to stop so you have to accept that
and if that is the only issue in your marriage then
you need to adjust. If you can't handle the matter
then you need to think do you want to be with this
man, as he is a momma's boy. You need to make
the decision as what you want to do. Good Luck.
2007-05-12 05:46:41 · answer #5 · answered by RudiA 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
yea- what he is doing is not right. Its time to put your foot down, and tell him you are taking the kids a certain holiday etc.. to be w/ your family. sounds to me llike you are allowing this..... I don't see this relationship lasting, you'd get more time w/ the kids if you were divorced anyways.
WHY would you spend your holiday alone- why wouldn't you be with your family.... sounds like you are closing down, and not wanting to be around people. I don't blame you- i would resent him too if he always had to be with his mommy.... if you are married - YOU are his new family... you should be number one.
Time for you to set things straight --- TELL HIM the kids are spending some holidays with you -- enough of the crap of him getting what he wants - its not fair.
2007-05-12 05:44:08 · answer #6 · answered by ★★★ Katharine ♥♥♥♥ 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
You need to grow up and start going with him to his parents house. He needs to grow up too and realize that he needs to spend time with you too. It's too bad you have kids that have to go through this crap. What the hell did his parents do to you? Or are you just being a brat and not going because you don't feel like it?
2007-05-12 05:57:12 · answer #7 · answered by SillierKimmy! 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why don't you just go to his parents? You are being very selfish. When you married him you added his entire family to yours. Sounds like he is married to a real pain in the ***. I see divorce in your future. If not that there will be life long unhappiness. And you should never say you hate your spouse. You are creating a negative environment that he clearly does not want to be around.
2007-05-12 05:45:47 · answer #8 · answered by sdo3lg 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Spending time with family is great BUT your spouse is ALWAYS supposed to come first. Ask him to stay with you till 2 or so before he goes to parents..ask him to go to therapy with you you need some help and if he won't go yourself...
2007-05-12 06:55:55 · answer #9 · answered by Cat 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
No body would keep me from visiting my parents on the Holidays and certainly not a childish mate who`s not mature enough to put his differences aside for the sake of the family.
2007-05-12 05:41:51 · answer #10 · answered by Jane Marple 7 · 1⤊ 2⤋