I don't know what to do. My boyfriend is 26 im 18 and he was married with a daughter. I cant take it anymore

Question

that he had a life already. I love him but its just too much to handle. Whats bigger love or the nasty feelings a have? What do I do? HELP!!!

Answer 1

wow, let me tell you, you basically just described my life. When I was 18, my boyfriend was 30, he had been married before and he had a daughter and son. At first I thought I could handle it, but then I started to think I couldn't, that it was just too much to take. You have to decide if he's worth it to be honest. If your love for him is strong enough. If it is, then you have to just relax and learn to deal with it. He can love you and his daughter in different way. It used to drive my NUTS to know that he was married to someone he used to love and had a child with him. But we have to realize that it was their PAST and WE have them now. Good luck, and just remember..he obviously loves you very much.

Answer 2

I think that you need to understand that life is continuous. What he had is done and cannot be changed. The daughter is a separate entity. Not an object of a past relationship. So here goes... If you love this man as you say that you do then you will see that he has decided that you are a better person to be with. What you might be getting into can be as good or as bad as you want it to be. If you feel as if you might not be able to make this situation better, then it will be best for all of you to just end it now and not later. The child will not be affected if you leave now. I have to be honest and give you credit to at least think about this more. You do deserve to have something a little less complicated. Now is the time to decide what you really want. Leave now and find something better or stay and work a little harder for something a little more. I hope that you see how important this decision is. There is no easy choice, just the right one. Good luck

Answer 3

You desperately need to move on . It will be difficult but you have your whole life ahead of you. This is not meant to be. These feelings are your inner turmoil telling you it isnt right . This is for a number of reasons. First of all even if he hadnt a daughter, a 26 yr old should be with a person nearer his own age as you arent fully grown yet and dont know your needs and self as well as say a 24 yr old would. People continue to grow into their 20s and become different once out of the structure of school and its controlled groups. He needed someone badly after his divorce but that is not your problem. He will be fine and needs to move on and spend all the extra time he can with his daughter and his work to support her and not focus on a relationship. You deserve someone without a history like that and you are having difficulty letting go since you think it is love. Well if it is true love then you definitely need to move on since it is not helpful to him at all and if he really loves you, he will want the best life for you in the future and he isnt it, right? It will be painful and sad so try to make a plan like telling him( decide which is better over the phone or in person or by letter), then going away somewhere or gathering old friends together for a party or talk with your parents about doing something different to get over this. It shows courage. Ask for help and people will want to help if they understand you have broken up and want to meet new friends. So anyway I wouldnt call what you have 'nasty feelings' at all. They are real and true and sometimes reality is the most difficult thing to accept.
YOU CAN DO IT. ( treat yourself to a pedicure or something after you do)

Answer 4

Understand that my answer to your question is not meant to be condescending in any way...I am 31 years old and married just 7 months and I can honestly tell you that what you like when you are 18 IS NOT neccessarily going to be anything you'll like at 26 or 30...your 20's are going to be the most educational of your life...you're going to grow and mature alot and i don't think that the drama and baggage that comes from being with a man that has already been married and has a child (which will always have him tied to his ex no matter where his life takes him) is anything you are going to want. You love him, no doubt, but sometimes when you love someone you understand that being with him isn't neccessarily the healthiest thing for them or you. It might be best to move on from the relationship and concentrate on getting to know yourself. Good luck to you!!

Answer 5

IF you truly loved him you wouldn't be here. You don't love him, you are infuatuated at best. I suggest you leave the relationship because you are not mature enough for any type of relationship really since you can't get past the idea of someone having a life before YOU step into it. Until you can accept that MEN you become involved with have more than likely had relationships prior to you, I suggest you stick to dating boys. You're not ready for an adult relationship with MEN. You're still emotionally in highschool and have shown the maturity level as such.

Answer 6

Move on your too young to be raising some other woman's child. If you expect to be with him you must respect the fact that it's a package deal. Why would you want all the bullshit of being with someone who's already divorced and with a kid.? Find a man that doesn't have baggage to bring into a relationship with you.
Don't sale yourself short, I'm sure there is a nice young man out there waiting to meet you.
Just end it. Try Match. com , if you have trouble meeting guys. Don't settle for a package deal. Not at your age.
Happy hunting!

Answer 7

From the moment that you hesitate about your relationship, I would say that you just have nasty feelings. Maybe the love was not to big since you feel you have much to handle.

If I were you, I would end the relationship, I don't think you will succeed if you think the way you do, and maybe he expects a lot from you and you will not be able to fill his request.

To accept sombody else's child and accept the fact that he had previous marriage is not that simple, it requires a lot of love and underestanding and willing to do sacrifices.

Answer 8

OK im the one who can best answer this for you.

I have a son from a 7 year relationship (first girl i ever dated)

I was 25 when i met my wife, my son was 3 years old when i started dating we have been married 8 years. I was so happy.

Her friend got her on crack and my life went to hell, i still love her but got a restraining order to keep her away till she gets help for her self help. She said she dint cheat on my i will never know the truth.

I will love her forever no matter what happens, I still want her back.

Answer 9

If it bothers you that much find a guy your own age. He's really too old for you anyway. Would you really want to marry someone with a child? Many people do but you have to be prepared to be a parent from day one and be responsible. With someone your own age you're both beginning your lives with none of the baggage from a previous commitment.

Answer 10

Sounds like you should have thought a little bit more about this before being his gf. But there is great news here, you haven't married him and you can just break up with him and move on. I understand that your mad, he has spent alot of his feelings and emotions on his last marriage, but this does happen alot and people do move on. Me personally would find someone a little closer to my age. When he gets older, he will be slowing down and you will be raring to go. But that's just me. Good luck.