Don't you hate when people try to tell you what you're not capable of doing, but...?

Question

They contradict themselves by telling you that you use your disability as a crutch or an excuse? Only YOU know yourself & what you're capable of doing, right? People jinx me like that all the time, & now I feel like I DON'T have any abilities or skills.

I have a B.A. degree in Spanish & STILL feel like I don't have any abilities, skills, or talents.

Answer 1

Sometimes it feels like you're not a person with a disability, you're a disability with a person, right? I hate that, too.

People without disabilities have the same problem. Others tell them that they can't do something or they shouldn't do something. You can't be a model, you're not pretty enough. You can't be an engineer, you're not smart enough. You can't be a black belt in karate, you're not a boy. You can't....

Confidence comes from one place, inside of yourself. You can do stuff. You just did, right? It's harder to listen to you when others are saying the opposite. I don't know why, but it's easier to believe badly about yourself than the good things. Most everyone has confidence issues.

It might help to go back through your notes, especially in the classes that were hard, but you did well in anyway. Look at what you did, by yourself. It helps me. It's one reason I love math. I can whip out the old textbooks and work a few problems. There's always hanging out with people who appreciate your abilities thing, too. I get told to do that whenever I start whining about how I can't drive.

Answer 2

Everyone, whether disabled or not, spends the first 18 years of their lives being told that they can do what they are not yet capable of. If that were not the case no one would ever learn anything because most of us as kids would prefer to play out with friends or watch tv. We don't usually achieve in school without being driven.

If you go to university the process goes on much longer.

Sometimes people will say things to motivate you. To get you angry enough to do more.

And whatever you achieve in life, you will always be able to see someone who has done more so if you allow yourself to feel inadequate you can do so any time.

We are all small in the scheme of things. Imagine being Donald Trump in a helicopter over NYC looking down at the real estate and knowing that what he owns amounts to little more than a grain of sand in that landscape.

Answer 3

Don't listen to these idiots!! They don't know you. Only you know yourself. If you have a B.A. in Spanish, you could be an interpreter, or a teacher. If you like this website, that means you like to help people and to give advice. You and only you know what you're capable of, so don't let any moron jinx you. You know what you can do, so I say GO FOR IT!!

Answer 4

people usually do this because they dont want you to leave them behind.

So you feel good in the thought that deep down they know you're capable, they just don't want to be left behind. So they try and make you feel like you can't do it...this should make you do it. Think about it, if you aren't capable of doing it then why would they go to that much effort to convince you otherwise.

This is how you can reframe what they say to you in a positive light. They are only saying these things because they think i'm capable and are scared of being left behind. It's their problem!

Answer 5

Yes because some of us are told that as a sign of emtional abuse and orthers cause they set limits on what we can do. Only we can know how far our road in life will go. So "stand ouside the fire" as the song goes!

Answer 6

Yes, it is difficult. Most important is to believe in yourself and ignore those who rain on your parade.

I do understand, I grew up in that kind of atmosphere, and it took me years to overcome it, even though I strived from early on to prove myself. I eventually learned I really only have to prove it to ME ... if I believe in me, then others will start to take the cue as well.

I raised my kids in a positive environment, teaching them that they were the only ones that could limit themselves. One of my sons who has multiple disabilities, took that to heart, believed in his own abilities, his own potential ... only to have the "powers that be" in the real world strike it all down.

Bottom line though is ... tough as it is ... go against those that would keep you down, and don't give up! Yes, you CAN do it!! Start to believe in YOU again! Blessings!
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Answer 7

Did you Read The Power Of Positive Thinking?Change your Thinking Change Your Life.This book and other works by Dr.Peale have been a big part of my life..I have read your questions . you have many fine points going for you..use them.. Grand Pa know this....Rergards Ed