What was your funniest conversation with a 'phobe?

Question

I'm thinking about how hilarious conversations with 'phobes can be sometimes, because a friend reminded me of one.

A local right-winger in Orlando once asked me, when I was doing clerical work for an LGBT cause, if I knew what the Bible said about homosexuality. He thought I was ignorant since I was working there. Now, I've gone to church and, um, grown up in America, so I decided to be ignorant for him. When he asked, "Do you know about the cross?", I was like, "Um, something Christians wear, I know, but..."

Everyone around me lost it when he brought up the Book of Romans, and I jotted it down like a title I was going to look for, then asked if it's stocked near the Bible and if Paul was the author's first or last name. :-)

And then I made it into a fundraising letter as "an earnest young woman who didn't even know about the Bible."

Since we have to deal with them, we can at least get a good story, right? So what's yours?

Pounder, it's sweet of you to try and give us material.

Answer 1

I love it! You handled this with great flare and wit...the poor fool had no idea you were yanking his chain...typical, isn't it?
My favorite way to handle these people is to play along with them...I get very butch, agree with them on everything..use all the nasty words I can to get them to really open up and let all their ugliness spew forth...after they have played into my hand, I put my arm around their shoulder...very buddy like...and say, "Oh, by the way, did I tell you I am Gay?" The look is usually priceless, the stark fear that crosses their face is worth every minute of the come on I have invested...and I usually love it best when playing the game with gay friends who have seen me in action. It is best when the phobe is all but running away amid the gales of laughter from the gay crowd I am with.

Answer 2

You have written about his interest in you. But how do you `feel' about him. Do you enjoy being in his company, being around him. Do you re-live the moments spent with him later and love them. DO you feel like you `belong' when you are with him. How he looks, what others will think of him, whether your family and friends will `approve' of your choice does not matter! All this is not important in the long run. What matters is what and how you are when you are with him. How he feels is important because two people should reciprocate each other's feelings for it to work long term. But that alone is also not worthwhile to make a commitment if you do not feel the same way about him. So what you call a commitment phobia may just be your heart telling you the truth!

Answer 3

I've seen this at my school a few times. One of my friends came out about 6 months ago, and another 'friend' is a strong homophobe. My friend who came out went up to the other person and asked about 'Adam and Eve, not Adam and Steve' (yes, I am straight, but I hate that line!). The homophobe commended him about the answer, and my friend gave him a big hug.
Then, right after the hug, my friend said to the 'phobe "I'm gay!" in a very friendly voice.

The homophobe ran out the doors (it was after school), screaming in terror.

My friend and I just fell over laughing at his stupidity!

Answer 4

Well I dont have a funny mom ent in special, but my best friend is aphobe llol I know he knows about me but it has been an unspoken agreement lol
Once he told me I hate gay people i tell you i owuld never be able to be friend with one of them. Lol and little stuff like that.
The weirdest thing Is that sometimes he flirts with me, and is like i know he wants something but at the same time he covers behind a phobe fassad lo

Answer 5

I don't really have a funny "comeback" story but I do have a situation that opened my eyes to how homophobia can be undone. I was talking to an aquaintance who was extreemly homophobic and as we talked I finaly revealed myself to him (note: this talk spanned over a 6 week period... on and off...) and he told me that if he hadn't known me he would have taken it a whole lot differently. We became really good friends and he became much more accepting.

Answer 6

At a workplace many years ago, a 'typical phobe' said to Me...lol

"I can tell a lesbian anywhere, I can smell 'em" as i left the table the guys around him helped him from choking as they explained just who he had been bragging too...

Answer 7

I guess the time I came out to one of my friends. Intstead of being disgusted and wanting to run away. She sat Indian style (yes, Indian style like a little kid at story time) in front of me and began to ask me tons of questions. "So how do you do it? What kinda girls you like? How do you know? Is Christy gay? Is Christy your girlfriend? Do you know a lot of gay girls?" I was shocked because she already knew me. She knew half of the answers, but I think the new revelation made her feel like they were necessary.

Answer 8

Well, I was at a funeral for a family friend who had lost their son in Iraq and sadly the Phelps clan came along to protest.

Knowing how unsettling this was for the grieving family, I found myself unable to control my urge to run up behind one of the Clan members and give her a big hug!

I just smiled and said 'That's OK, I'm sure God will forgive you...I still love you anyway."

The look on her face was priceless and throughout the rest of the funeral I found it very hard to keep myself from giggling under my breath.
My friend came up to me after wards and thanked me for bringing a smile to her face on that, saddest of days. I told her...(since we all knew her son for many years) that "J- - -" would have loved it too...you know he would."

That made her smile even more!