How can it be that if a married woman want to abort a baby she can without the fathers consent but if a married man wants to have a vasectomy he has to take his wife along for a chat with the doc to make sure it is what they both want to do?
I find this really strange.
Only discovered this as my hubby wants to have a vasectomy and i had to go along for the consultation to make sure we both new that it was a permenent thing..
But i also have a married friend who had an abortion but never had to consult her partner to make sure it was what they both wanted to do...
2007-05-12 03:50:30 · 29 answers · asked by JustJem 6 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Are some of you guys under the impression that an abortion isnt permenant then...cos i think it is you know... once you have killed that feotus it isnt going to come back!
2007-05-12 03:57:43 · update #1
It is a funny old world - it really is!
2007-05-12 03:52:39 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 3⤋
You misunderstood what happened. The doctor asked that you come along to hear about vasectomy because it's good for both of you and your marriage to hear the same story. It's not required by law or ethics. Another doctor might suggest the same thing to a married woman contemplating abortion (if it's her husband's child).
In neither case would a man be refused a vasectomy if he didn't want to tell his wife nor a woman be refused an abortion if she didn't want to tell her husband. Doctors only have one patient at a time. While usually doctors tell spouses everything, if a patient doesn't want a spouse to know something, a doctor is ethically bound to honor that confidentiality. If the doctor feels ethically conflicted because there's something harmful to the spouse involved with not knowing something, the doctor can pressure the patient to tell the spouse. The doctor can even go against professional ethics and tell the spouse anyway because of the doctor's personal ethics, but there may be trouble from that. This is what I know as a physician. The premise of your question is wrong.
2007-05-12 11:08:46 · answer #2 · answered by David D 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
My ex had a vasectomy and I didnt have to go along and give my permission heck its his body let him get on with it. I have a feeling you may both be very young as they dont usually ask a wife to go to this sort of consultation.
As for abortions there are all sorts of reasons in the world why women want or need one and as far as I know the only people they have to consult are two doctors to make sure its what they want.
2007-05-12 13:21:52 · answer #3 · answered by BigMomma2 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
i really don't have an answer for you. i don't think you should have been forced to go along with him. it's his responsibility to talk it over with you and if he doesn't then that would be something that you guys would have to deal with. i personally think that if a person doesn't want to have a baby then they shouldn't have have a baby (married or not).
as far as a woman not needing the fathers consent to have an abortion, i personally agree with that because you cannot rely on the man to take care of the baby just because he says he would. then you will have a mom stuck with a baby that she doesn't want and that would not be good for the baby.
wouldn't it be better to not have the baby in the first place, than to subject that baby to abuse and neglect because it was never wanted? (yes, i know that if she didn't want a baby she shouldn't have gotten pregnant. but it's too late for that speech now).
i just think that everybody should be entitled to make their own decisions about their own bodies and the people in their lives will have to deal with that decision.
2007-05-12 11:03:53 · answer #4 · answered by fungirl 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The people, at the clinic are forcing their own brand of ethics on you. They would likely do the same if you went to get your tubes tied.
I got my vasectomy at age 21. I was married, to someone that I am no longer married to(drug addict). She didn’t want me to get it. I didn’t need her consent. They never even asked if I was actually married. They asked only YES and NO questions.
“Is your wife currently pregnant?”
“Do you have all the children you ever want?”
I have no children. I lied and said I did, so that they wouldn’t ask a lot of dumb questions. They never asked for any evidence that I had them.
I know other men that did the same. As far as I know, nobody ever asked any of them for the consent of their wives. In fact, I have known a few single men that had vasectomies.
Just go to a different clinic, and make it a moot point.
Good luck.
2007-05-12 14:25:45 · answer #5 · answered by Marvin 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋
when a vasectomies is being done onyour husband this affects you both as it means that you can,t have any more children .but when a woman has an abortion that dose not stop her from getting pregnant later on so their lives are not affected in the same way. i personaly don,t agree with this way of thinking as i beleive that all life is sacred and i also think that if a woman is in a long term relationship that her partner should be cunsulted to as the child is part of each of them.
2007-05-12 11:17:32 · answer #6 · answered by joan_tipton 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
It is the way of the USA. Women have rights, men only have responsibilities. I've seen it many times involving many different areas of society.
Sexual harassment is a classic. If a man tries to sue, regardless of the circumstances or the number of witnesses, he is virtually laughed out of court. If a woman sues, the men involved better settle out of court because it only gets worse in the courtroom. Her word is taken as absolute truth and the only thing that matters is her perception. If she considers being called by her first name sexual harassment, then by god it is...
When I retired from the military my wife had to sign a paper agreeing to allow me the take my pension in total. She could have insisted that I pay a large portion of it to a program that would give her half of my pension for life if she outlived me. I had to go 20 years to get my pension. A woman only need be married to a military retiree for 10 years to claim and be awarded halve of that pension in a divorce action.
And don't forget divorce. Everything gets split 50 - 50. The wife gets the house, the husband the house payments. The woman gets the car, the man the car payments. The woman gets the mining stock, the man gets the shaft.
It is the way the laws are written.
2007-05-12 11:16:00 · answer #7 · answered by gimpalomg 7 · 0⤊ 2⤋
As you are probably aware, there are many double standards when it comes to the sexes. Women and men are NOT equal. Anyone that has spent time in family court knows this. A woman claims that she is entitled to have an abortion because "it is her body". Why can a man not make the same claim? Although, I do not agree with abortion anyway. Sorry to answer a question with a question! The answer is in my second sentence.
2007-05-12 11:08:50 · answer #8 · answered by mopar nut 2 · 0⤊ 2⤋
It appears to depend on the couple and the medical adviser whom they go to for the procedures. Married people should always consult with each other before making decisions that will inevitably, affect both of their lives. Such decisions are never pleasant or easy to make and in most cases, may be undesirable.
2007-05-12 10:59:59 · answer #9 · answered by Jess4rsake 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋
terminating a pregnancy does not affect your ability in the future to produce children. The woman still has the ability
The man would now become sterile. I would think that if a woman wanted her tubes tied or plugged or something that the husband would then be involved in the decision
but i don't actually know
2007-05-12 11:06:56 · answer #10 · answered by twosey ♥ 5 · 1⤊ 1⤋
If you have a vasectomy you can no longer impregnate a woman. if you have an abortion you can still get pregnant at a later date.
2007-05-12 11:05:44 · answer #11 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋