If a fat kid falls in the forest does it make a sound?

Question

Tunguska event was a massive explosion that occurred near the Podkamennaya (Under Rock) Tunguska River in what is now Krasnoyarsk Krai of Russia, at 7:17 AM on June 30, 1908. The event is sometimes referred to as the Great Siberian Explosion.

Answer 1

The urban legend is "the bigger they are, the harder they fall." However, a joint study of the Harvard, Yale and Princeton Acoustical Studies Departments has concluded that this premise contains one fundamental flaw: ambiguous antecedents. Who is this proverbial "they?" Does the second "they" also reference the first "they", or is there a second "they" on the grassy knoll (approx. 25 yards from the forest in which the "fat" one fell)?

Multiple experiments were conducted. Differing forests, fat kids, sound amplification tools, padded diapers and other methods were applied. Studies were conducted at multiple times of day, in snow and ice, during major forest fire situations, and even during stage three floods.

The joint conclusion? A fat kid WILL make a sound if it falls in the forest. The highest decibel sound created was during the following circumstances: aforementioned kid, 4' 5'', wears Kroger-brand adult diapers, falls backwards while facing NNW, during a drought month. Kid should have a body fat percentage of between 28-42% (too much caused excessive padding and therefore less noise). Five sound monitoring devices should be deployed within 3 meters of kid, equally distributed on four sides, and one directly above central fall site. No adults or young girls should be near, as the following snickering or laughter would dampen the sound production. Tree variety did not seem to factor greatly, but a mix of cedar and cypress trees scored two of the top eight results. Gender of child also did not impact results.

On a side note, Yale scientists claim that the urban legend should be rephrased "the TALLER they are, the harder they fall", as the results of force vs. height showed a direct correlation, in regards to fat kids.

Answer 2

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Answer 3

That's an absurd question. Everybody knows that the fat kid wouldn't be in the forest to begin with. He'd be playing a video game in which his character would be in the forest.

Answer 4

Question 1: Yes, and it gets louder after that tree falls on them. Question 2: wonder if extremely huge methane or hydrogen gas explosion caused explosion you talk about.

Answer 5

Depends how many pies he's got left in his sack.


I mean if he actually ate all the pies then there'd be nothing to cushion the fall.

The official formula is ......S = HB/PiS


Where S= Sound (in decibels), H= Height of fat kid,
B= Blubber index (measured in handles) and Pis= Pies in sack.

Hope that helps.

Answer 6

Well if the fat kid fells in the forest on the leafs then it will make a sound and if he fells on the gound then it depends on the ground that if it makes any sound or not but the question is kind of mean...

Answer 7

Most fat kids wouldn't walk far enough from the car to fall in a forest.

Answer 8

yes
the fat kid usually makes a soft muffled noise but the estra padding stops the sound of treetrunks and underground root systems being broken by the fat kid hitting them

Answer 9

maybe the kid wouldn't make a sound if the forest is really dense, because it would fall on a tree, but the tree would probably end up on the ground, making sad sound of it's misfortune ...

blah

are you (were you) a fat kid?
is that why you're trying to make fun of them? to get over your frustration?

Answer 10

One word: Tunguska

Here's a dual-layer pun for you all involving a chubby bear who lives in the forest, making something in addition to just noise.

-Hey Smokey, is that you!?!
-Hey, Smokey back here taking a ****!

(from The movie "Friday" & the "Smokey the Bear" character)