My boyfriend has been asking me to marry him lately. We're both seniors, and I'm really considering it. I really love him, and I know he loves me back. I'm guessing that he may want to get married just so he can sleep with me, cuz I told him I wanna get married before I have sex and that I want my first time to be special. But I'm afraid if I turn him down, he'll just ditch me. He's not the kind that would cuz I know he loves me back, but I'm just scared I'll lose him..
The thing is, even though he says he loves me and I know I love him, there's this girl who just found out she's pregnant with his child. He really doesn't like her anymore, but I told him he has to stay with her. He still wants to marry me though. I'm confused!! Please give me some advice, thank you...
2007-05-11 18:11:03 · 15 answers · asked by Jayden 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
He slept with the girl when we were dating, at a party. He was drunk, and when he came to his senses, he confessed to me. I was super mad with at first, then I realized that he confessed because he loved me. I dumped him for a while, then he tried making it up to me. That was when I just fell more in love with him. He even said he'd ditch basketball to go to the college I'm going to.
2007-05-11 18:30:52 · update #1
okay, I will not lecture you.
I had a child during my senior year and she is 18 now and at her senior prom tonight. I am not going to tell you not to have sex with him--but you are way to young to make the commitment of marriage. You have already said no to sex and he should accept that--but as I told my daughter young men are driven by hormones they want sex. They are male. At their age they have no idea how to please you so they only get the benefit out of it--you lose something precious you will never get back. He will not marry you at this age--way too young--but if you make the choice to have sex with him get on the pill and use a condom. My daughter came to me so I got her on the pill but since he wouldn't wear a condom she said no to later find out her bf was cheating on her. I am very open and honest--you need to make a stand and say you are not ready--if he leaves he does not love you. He already left a girl he got preg--just love yourself--do not give in--he and you are way too young to get married--that is a sorry excuse to have sex. You will find a guy you love whom does not pressure you whether promising marriage or not . You are being pressured into something you are not ready for--find yourself first before you share your body with a man.
2007-05-11 18:32:30 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I got married when I was a senior in High School. I married a man that was going into the Air Force and it's been great. I wouldn't marry someone the same age with no way to support you. If he has some girl pregnant, how long have you been with him? I would wait and experience life for awhile first. If you have to question marrying him then don't do it. I married my husband because I knew that's what I wanted. I have known him all of my life. If he really loves you then he'll wait until you both get settled and have careers before you take the plunge. If you've kept your virginity this long don't throw it away on someone you might not spend the rest of your life with.
2007-05-11 18:26:35 · answer #2 · answered by Mark and Allie 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hi. Well, you have a tough situation. I feel for you. My advice is to not get married. He has a child? Wow. That is a "put on the breaks" indicator. Trust me, at 16-21, all guys want is sex. If he truly loves you, then he will also respect you. If he respects you, then he has no problem waiting for sex or marriage. Sex and marriage are acts. However, love is emotional. It is an absolute. You have a whole life ahead of you. If he loves you and you love him, then a separation and college or seeking a profession will not cut or damage that love. Wait until you figure out what you want to do with your life. It is hard managing a career or school when you have a spouse and kids. I am in my 30's, married, and have kids. It is hard. You have to be mature to handle it. Enjoy your life. If this relationship is meant to be, then it will happen. Trust me. I had feelings like your too. I know it is confusing. Your first priority is to look out for you first. Good luck.
2007-05-11 18:21:32 · answer #3 · answered by Guy 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I believe that you really need to think about this situation. He have a girl pregnant with his child? How long have you and him been together? Did he cheat on you? These are things you must think about. First you don't want to put yourself in a situation where you are married to a guy that (if he cheated on you) may cheat on your during your marriage. That is not something you are ready for. Also, you have college after high school...why not at least obtain your bachelor's degree before you get married. Understand that if he really loves you and care about you then he will not leave you just because you are not ready. A lot of women fall into this trap....trying to do what pleases the man without any regards to what is pleasing them. This usually leaves the man happy but the woman miserable. Think about it and pray about it. Also, there is nothing wrong with a long engagement. Maybe get engaged for about a year or two to if you are not ready now but want something more.
2007-05-11 18:21:10 · answer #4 · answered by Nikki T 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Do you really want to marry a guy you think would ditch you if you say no?? You don't sound like you're ready to get married or you wouldn't be asking for advice here, you would've already said yes. Just tell him you aren't ready...if he leaves you, it will be tough since you love him but it will be best for you because you deserve better than that. If he truly does love you...He'll wait! How long have you two been together?? If a girl JUST found out she's pregnant than he either cheated on you or you two just got together...either way are you SURE he loves you?? You don't cheat on someone you truly love. Best of luck hun!!
2007-05-11 18:22:42 · answer #5 · answered by LLTTF 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Run don't walk away from this guy. You deserve better. Look how fast he lost interest in the girl he got pregnant. I doubt marriage will be any different. If he doesn't leave you after marriage and getting what he wants, then look for affairs with other women. I was married at 15 (forced arranged marriage) and I missed out on life as a teen. By the time I was 23 and he was 30, I was so much more mature than he was. At that time he wanted to share me with other men while he watched. Most likely who you love madly at 18 you will wonder what you ever saw in him when you are 28. Finish your education. Date and have fun. Given time you will find someone better suited to your values and dreams. Best of luck to you.
2007-05-11 18:20:03 · answer #6 · answered by Connie 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
1st of all if he got another girl pregnant he doesn't love you as much as he says he does. He just wants sex and if you marry him it will be the biggest mistake of your life. If you lose him big deal if he is sleeping with other girls (which evidently he is)you don't need him. Do you really think that he will change if you marry him? If you do your crazy. He will be cheating on you before the 1st anniversary. I don't know you but I know you can do better than that. Let him go and find someone who really cares for you and respects you because he don't or this other girl wouldn't be pregnant by him. He will tell you that he doesn't care about her and he probably don't but he don't love you either or she wouldn't be in that condition. believe me find someone else and whatever you DON'T DON'T DON'T MARRY HIM.
2007-05-11 18:26:50 · answer #7 · answered by wilma flintstone 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You already know that you shouldnt get married he just wants to get married so you two can have sex???? Chica that is NOT a good reason to get married, yes you might love him but REALLY your young and you have your whole life to get married. Why dont you live life and go for the gusto and not settle down and get married. You will more than likely regret it. If he ditches you because you turn him down then you know that he never really loved you OR cared about you in the first place and that all he REALLY wanted was sex. DONT MARRY HIM!! THAT WILL JUST SPELL DISASTER!
2007-05-11 18:15:49 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Let me see if I understand this...
Your boyfriend says he wants to marry you and says he "loves you". Yet, there's a girl who "just found out she's pregnant with his child?"
Apparently he doesn't love you enough to stop sleeping with other girls.
Certainly not marriage material. If he can't stay faithful before you get married, it ain't gonna get better after you get married.
You may love him, but my advice is to find a guy who will truly love you and be commited to you. Marriage is hard enough without having to wonder if your man can "keep it in his pants".
Probably not what you want to hear, but better to hear that than be heart broken later on.
2007-05-11 18:20:10 · answer #9 · answered by writermarie2002 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Marrying him now would be foolish. You don't trust his intentions, and you don't respect his choice to abandon the mother of his child. Your question makes it clear your wisest self knows this isn't a good foundation for a marriage; it's your insecure self that wants to hang on for dear life.
If you can't give him up, tell him you won't marry anyone for two years. Then you'll know for sure whether his devotion to marriage is serious or a ploy. My money is on the latter.
2007-05-11 18:27:05 · answer #10 · answered by Houyhnhnm 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋