My partner & I are getting married soon & are having a party to celebrate. We want to invite some people that we get along with really well but dont really know them well enough to have at out wedding.
I know most people say its your day, do what you want (as I say the same thing!!) but I am just concerned about offending people by not inviting them to our actual wedding, just the party.
How would you feel if you were invited to the engagement party of people you like but dont know all that well (newly found friendships) but realised you wernt invited to the wedding. Money restricts us from inviting too many people & aside from that I dont know all these people that well...just dont want to hurt their feelings cause we get along great!! We are asking that nobody buys us gifts so its not like we just want presents!!
Thanks in advance for your answers ;o) Appreciated muchly!!
2007-05-11 18:10:50 · 18 answers · asked by Mrs D 6 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
Well it depends on the wedding size - if you were inviting a whole bunch of people and did not invite me (pretending I'm you're friend) I guess I'd be offended. But if your wedding is obviously exclusive enough that even somewhat close friends didn't get in, then I'm sure it's not a big deal. It must be a small wedding? Well I'd say if they are not that close to you to go the wedding, and your wedding is kind of big, then I woud not invite them at all.
but ultimately, it just depends on your relationship withthe person... and if you're doing the same thing with a lot of other people.
congrats by the way!
2007-05-11 18:22:10 · answer #1 · answered by majorasmask91 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
if I was invited to an engagement party the nI would probably assume I was getting an invite to the wedding too. problem is some people give gifts at the engagement party and it would be wrong to accept a gift if you have no intentions on inviting them to the wedding. I mean what do you do if they start asking when you are planning the wedding for then mention going to it and what not? do you turn around and say sorry but we didnt plan on inviting you? stick with the people you plan to have at the wedding. this way nobody is hurt.
2007-05-12 04:54:05 · answer #2 · answered by Jenn ♥Cadence Jade's mum♥ 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
If I'm not good enough to be invited to your wedding, then I'm not going to the engagement party!
The only exception is if you are having a VERY small family and very close friends only wedding.
But I guess I don't understand why you would even want these people at the party if you don't know them very well! Better to wait till after you are married and have these people over for a cookout if you want to get to know them better. Then there is no question about it looking like you want gifts.
2007-05-12 00:28:35 · answer #3 · answered by Cat Lover 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Oh my goodness. I think most people would have no problem with not being invited to the wedding. They may just be thankful to be part of it with the party. This day and age people realize that it is expensive to have weddings. I have been to several parties and not to the wedding and it was still as wonderful.
2007-05-12 09:13:14 · answer #4 · answered by aintlifegrand 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Engagement parties are meant to bring the people that will be attending your wedding together. It's a major breach of etiquette to invite anyone you don't intend on inviting to your wedding. Gifts aren't expected at engagement parties, although some people will give you gifts, anyway.
After your wedding and honeymoon are over, maybe you could invite your new acquaintances to your home for a dinner party or barbeque as a way of getting to know them better.
2007-05-11 22:32:16 · answer #5 · answered by ihavethat45 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋
If you don't know these people that well then don't invite them to the wedding or the engagement party. This should be a time of celebration for you, your partner, and the people you love the most. I'm sure your other firends will understand.
2007-05-12 13:41:21 · answer #6 · answered by sunchine girl 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I think it's totally fine to invite them to the engagement party. It's not a shower and you don't take a gift to the engagement party. It's just a time to celebrate the fact that you're engaged and going to get married, not so much a pre-wedding party!
So go for it. Invite whoever you want. I don't think there's any problem with it.
2007-05-12 02:59:13 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
Yes, that's just not right to do. It is the same with a wedding shower. For an engagement party, you would be having only family and close friends, those who you would be intending to invite to the wedding.
2007-05-12 01:26:13 · answer #8 · answered by Lydia 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋
I know that if they're not invited to wedding, then they shouldn't be invited to the shower. So, I don't know if the engagement party applies. I would stay on the safe side and assume yeah - not a good idea. You don't want to offend people.
2007-05-11 18:20:23 · answer #9 · answered by Vicki B 5 · 1⤊ 1⤋
I would NOT be offended at all...... I realize that some ppl do NOT want a large wedding but wish to ask others to help them celebrate the union of love...... I think it will be alright....... you may want to make a small but personal speach at the party, thanking all for coming and sharing this time with you, that you BOTH opted for a small wedding but that you wanted to have all them there this nite, and that you think they are sending you off into a wonderful new life just by being there...... or something to that effect !!!!!! and after the wedding itself, send out personal notes thanking them again...... God bless
2007-05-11 19:20:35 · answer #10 · answered by Annie 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋