Who should walk me down the aisle?

Question

Ok..so...My dad died when I was little! My mom was a single parent for a long time..then got remarried! I'm getting married in September and I have no idea who should walk me?! I don't get along with my step-father, I had always thought that I would ask my Uncle (he never had any children and it would mean alot to him) When I told my mom she mad eit clear it would hurt my step-dads feelings, I then considered asking my mom to do it...because she was was my only parent growing up...but I dont think she would want to...she just wants to be the Mother of the Bride and be seated and all that stuff....so who should do it?!

Answer 1

ok, if I was you this is what I would do...... your dad died sorry to hear that, I would walk down the aisle by myself, why? you are the main attention it's you day. your mom will be upset if you don't walk with your step-dad & your uncle is not your dad, so walk up there alone & be a proud daughter to your dad from up above & remind people at your wedding that you love your dad & you don't forget him, & you are in a way walking with him cause no one else can take that part of walking you down the aisle.

Answer 2

Many women these days make the trip solo. It is a way of avoiding all of these troubles, especially in blended families. Think of it, you have seen this in the movies even. Some women do this simply because there is not a clear choice of who to walk them, or like you not one that can spare everyones feelings. Others have rejected this tradition on the basis that it is archaic for the woman to be "given away" as though she were property. It is a tradition that can be very meaningfully if there is the right person by your side, otherwise consider taking the walk alone. BTW the mother walking a bride down the aisle is a wonderful choice as well but if your mom wont do it and you want to spare your stepfathers feelings then I say go it alone.

Answer 3

Perhaps you should consider whether asking your uncle would make that part of your wedding uncomfortable because of your mom's or stepdad's feelings. It is so tough when you have a relative (like a stepdad or stepmom) that doesn't fit into a traditional family unit. Sometimes we just don't know where to place them! Perhaps you could have one walk you partway and the other meet you in the middle and walk the rest of the way with that one. Another option is to walk by yourself and just avoid hurt feelings. I don't think that it would be horrible for you to do that. You will be a married woman in like, 10 minutes after that, and your parents can still answer the question of "Who gives this woman to this man?" from their seats. That wouldn't be my choice, though. A third option is something I learned from a friend...substitution! Find something special that you can do with or for your stepdad during the wedding or the wedding weekend. Like, ask him to make a special toast on behalf of your family at the reception, or ask him for help with something. Let him know that he is special and that he is important to you in some other way. Then have your uncle walk you down the aisle. Also...be honest! Tell your stepdad that you love and care about him, but that you really think it would be special for your uncle, and that it would have pleased your dad for your uncle to take his place. Hope this helps!

Answer 4

Your mom should be reminded that this is your day. Your step-dad probably will understand, especially since the two of you don't get along.

You shouldn't have someone be chosen to walk you down the aisle just bc you are hoping to avoid hurting someone elses feelings. My choice would be the uncle. You said it perfectly yourself that you have always thought he'd be the person you'd choose.

On a personal note, I'm getting married this fall and I've chosen my step-dad rather than my biological dad to walk me down the aisle. I really don't care what anyone else thinks, bc in my opinion he is my true dad and its supposed to be a man of the family to do it.

Hope that helps. Your mom will get over it.

Answer 5

Well I tend to think you should have your uncle walk you. However it could make for hurt feeling on the side of your mom and step dad. Was he your step dad a long time? Did he raise you? You could maybe have neither walk you down the aisle. Just go by yourself.

Answer 6

What matters most is how you feel and who you want to do it. If you want your uncle to walk you down the aisle then you should ask him. Just because your mom thinks it will hurt your step-dads feelings doesn't mean that it will. Id be sure to explain to him why you've asked your uncle and it should all be fine.

Answer 7

You can:

-Ask your mom once again if she will consider walking you down the aisle. If you reconcile with your step-father, you could also have them both walk you down the aisle if you want.
-Have a male friend or relative walk you down the aisle. This may be your uncle. You could also choose a female friend or relative if you want.
-Walk down in the aisle in a group with your bridal party.
-Walk down the aisle YOURSELF. This is what I'm doing. It's very old-fashioned if not sexist for a women to be "given away" like property. This isn't even a religious idea, and some Catholic churches are even now forbidding it (finally). This is not the reason I am not doing it, but it's a good reason anyway.
-You can walk down the aisle with your fiance, or have him meet you half way.

Answer 8

If your uncle and you had close relationship then ask him to walk you down the aisle. I wouldn't have my step-father to walk me down the aisle if I didn't have a close relationship with him. Your uncle could walk you most of the way and then your mom the rest of the way. Or why don't you walk down the aisle by yourself? There are no rules that says the bride can't walk down the aisle unescorted.

Answer 9

I agree with another poster who asked if both your stepdad and uncle could walk you down the aisle. That was my very first thought after I read your post.

When asked who gives this woman....They can answer both of their names, or we do, or something along those lines. I think it would be a wonderful gesture to both of them, showing them that they are both a big part of your life and you value both of them so much.

Let your mom enjoy being mother of the bride. She will really want to go through that routine.

If you really do not want to do either of them, you could walk down the aisle yourself. I had considered this for a long time to show that I am my own person and I give myself to my future husband. I have since changed my mind, but it wouldn't be a bad option for you in this case.

Whatever you chose, remember that this is for you. Good Luck!

Answer 10

You didn't even need to tell your whole story. The answer is always the same: whoever YOU want to walk you. It is YOUR wedding. No matter what you do, you can't make everyone happy. You may as well make YOU happy. If I were you, I'd pick the uncle. If you think anyone will feel left out, simply give them some other honor. Anyone with an ounce of maturity, however, will be simply be happy for you regardless of what you decide to do. Congratulations!