We started out rough, and he has cheated on me twice before being together for a year. I forgave him, and we started over. Now on our second year, i am worried that he isnt being honest with me about where he is going and what he is doing. He leaves all the time saying he is hanging out with friends, but stays gone way longer than he should...they live just a mile away. Plus he asked me if i would mind him having a guys' night. Whats weird is that he already does it whether i like it or not. Why would he ask me for something if he already does it? I dont know what to do. Do yall think he is lying or if I am just being paranoid?
2007-05-11 16:01:38 · 15 answers · asked by cmax.s_butterfly 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Spy on him find out.
2007-05-11 16:05:43 · answer #1 · answered by 29LICKS & MR.29LICKS 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Trust is the foundation for any relationship worth having. If this is a problem now, it will only continue to be a problem and probably get worse in the future. I am sorry, dear, but if you are really considering marrying this man, you are going to have to either learn to trust him, or run for the hills before walking the aisle. Maybe he asked about guys night as a show of respect for you? If you don't like his friends or his going out without you it needs to be dealt with before the marriage. A bad marriage is not better than no relationship at all. How long have you been with him? 2 years? You should know each other very well by now. It sounds as though you feel as if you have no say so in this relationship. This is your life too. You said it started out rough....There's a sign. I wish you the best of luck. Nana
2007-05-11 16:10:43 · answer #2 · answered by nanawnuts 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's normal to not completely trust your boyfriend after he already cheated on you twice. Let me tell you something guys that cheat never change, they think that if just because u forgive them once you are gonna keep on forgiving them. Let him know what is going on in your head. Be open with him and put the card on the table for him. He needs to understand that you can no longer trust him after what he has done to you. Honestly its not even worth still being with him, should have gave you the respect you deserve, and not be running of with other girls, you know what i mean. Let him go for good, there are alot of men out there that have kind hearts and will respect you.
2007-05-11 16:13:06 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Both!?
If you are "paranoid" and do not want to confront him about it, then you have forgiven him but you still refuse to trust him.
On the other hand, his behavior sounds suspicious. He shouldn't have to ask permission for permission to have a "guys night". He SHOULD be very aware of how his actions are perceived by you, considering his past indiscretions.
If you want my advice (which you must considering you posted here) then I would say:
Talk to him about his behavior. If you are satisfied with his answers, then get some therapy and work it out.
If you can't trust him (due to your intuition or his behavior) then you two should separate. It is not fair to you to live in constant fear/uncertainty. He shouldn't have to spend the rest of his life explaining all his actions.
2007-05-11 16:11:39 · answer #4 · answered by Matt 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just find him some night he has his guys night out. Say your outta gas or he has something in his car for your mom or something.
Personally the guy sounds like a wise *** and just wants to have 2 things going at the same time. But I don't know the situation.
I would highly recommend being able to intercept him to be able to check up on him. Weather its by phone or if you have to get something out of his car. You could even get one of your friends to spy on him for you.
2007-05-11 16:08:48 · answer #5 · answered by The D 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Metaphor:
The best trick the devil has ever pulled is convincing people that he dosen't exist.
I hate to say it my friend but in most cases, once a cheater always a cheater, especially if you found out and forgave him. A cheaters best defense is convincing you that you are "paranoid" and that you don't trust them. Well... he cheated in the past, he dosen't deserve trust.
Yea he's probably screwing around, sorry.
2007-05-11 16:08:03 · answer #6 · answered by hereisaaron 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I should say twice is enough, leave him girl you can Get way better you shouldn't let him mistreat you like that like your a piece of trash and If you don't trust him there's no point of having a relation-ship with this guy If I were you I would leave him I wouldn't take crap from him.
2007-05-11 16:06:30 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
i wouldn't say youre paranoid, because he's given you legitimate reason to be. if his guys friends only live a mile away, then it wouldnt be that hard to just drive by "on your way" somewhere to find out for sure. i'm not saying go into like stalker status, but straight up ask him if everythings ok. if he's your fiancee, he should want to be with you- not find excuses to go hang with other people
2007-05-11 16:07:20 · answer #8 · answered by lily 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
once a cheater always a cheater...it sounds like he's up to something since u said that he already hangs out with his friends it sounds like he trying to get a ok so then if he does hang out somewhere else he could say " u did tell me that i can hang out with my friends"...just talk to him and see if he can spend a little more time with u ........guys do need a little space from their girl........if your having trust issues then u should rethink about u two getting married.....
2007-05-11 16:08:24 · answer #9 · answered by mrs. MJ 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
if there's something inside you questioning your relationship, then stop and check up on it. do you see yourself continuing living like this? constantly wondering where he is? constantly feeling insecure with him? if he really loves you, you shouldn't be having these feelings because he wouldn't let you. leave him. a cheater doesnt deserve a second chance. and you can do much better than that creep.
2007-05-11 16:10:18 · answer #10 · answered by wasabi 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He's not ready to settle down. Do you all live together? If so, consider getting your own place and you can see for real how often he is around.
2007-05-11 16:06:19 · answer #11 · answered by SINGLEMOM4 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋