i need help with my 3 year old son?

Question

my son is 3 and he is so busy and always getting into things. Thats ok i know that is normal but he seems to be acting out lately and pooping on the floor in the bathroom. he never used to do that he has been potty trained for like 6 months now. he also has been hitting and completely not listening to me, he is breaking things . its just latetly i dont know how to handle it. i hate to spank so i try to use that as a last resort. it seems that time outs are just not working. any ideas as to why he is pooping on the floor? and what else can i do to disipline? we just had a little girl 5 months ago that probly has something to do with it. any answers are apreciated

Answer 1

Yeah, I think he's jealous. Can you let him be more involved in helping out with the new baby? Say, let him help give her a bath, or sit him down someplace safe and let him give her a bottle? And pay as much attention to him and you possibly can.
Good luck.

Answer 2

Well, it is good that you use spanking as a last resort cause the more you spank a kid the more they refuse to listen. He could be pooping on the floor cause he is jealous that the baby is getting more attention and he wants to act like a child again so he can have more attention. So if u just ignore him when he is not listening and breaking stuff then maybe he will learn that it will not get him attention and will stop. Or he may just be going through a phase and will out grow it. Or like when he does listen and is good you could reward him.

Answer 3

I am betting you're absolutely right about the 5 month old. When a child is little (like 3) he only has control over so much in his world. Potty accidents (barring a medical condition) are under his control. His own temper is his to control. When something happens that they have a hard time dealing with, they often SUBCONSCIOUSLY (meaning, he's probably not doing these things on purpose to be a pain) act out with the things they can control. Punishing him will only make him resent the baby more, because you would be in essence...punishing him for loving you too much to let someone else take you from him.

I have a feeling he's drawing attention to himself so that you put down that SISTER you brought home, and give him your full attention. He's acting more like a baby because she IS a baby, and she seems to get a lot of attention. Maybe it would help if you made him think you REALLY need his help, because he's such a big boy now...and the baby isn't big like he is.

Make him think you are relying on him to help you even if it's silly. Pretend the trash is too heavy for you. Pretend you need to hold his hand going down stairs...not so that HE doesn't fall, but so YOU don't. That kind of thing really helped my nephew.

Answer 4

What's happens when he poops on the floor, or is breaking things??? He gets your attention! Not in a good way but attention is attention.
Make a sticker chart for him. Every time he gets X amount of stickers then he gets something special. Might be a dinner with just Mom. A dinner with just Dad. A few hours in the park with the parent of his choice. Just make sure it doesn't take to many stickers to get one of these things.
If he poops in the potty do something special. Reward him for the good things. Ignore the bad unless someone is getting hurt. As hard as it is to do remember he is doing it for attention. Therefore if he isn't getting it then he is not achieving his goal.
As at time when your holding the baby make sure your chatting with the baby and telling her how lucky she is to have such a wonderful big brother. This way he is hearing you and knows that she hasn't replaced him.

Answer 5

You answered your own question. You had a baby. That is when my daughter started acting out too.
All children are different. I tried spanking her, but she is a toughy. Time out doesn't mean anything to a child his age.
I sat my daughter in the corner in a chair for 5 mins. I would tell her if she turned around or acted up she would have to sit there longer.
It worked. Just like Dr. Phil says "you have to take something away that they enjoy doing". I knew that way before he came along.
As your little girl gets older, and she can sit on the floor independently, sit or lay on the floor and play with them. That way neither of them feels left out of getting mom's attention, which is really all he is wanting right now.
The baby needs your attention, he wants your attention, and you are torn between the two. As they get older things will get better. Try to find a way to include him. Maybe read to him once she goes to sleep for a nap. Rub his back, we all like that. Color with him.
He just wants to be included.
Happy Mother's Day!

Answer 6

I have had 4 children and none of them acted out but one and he was the oldest.He was 31/2 yrs old before my next son was born and he would disobey when ever I went to tend to his baby brother. So when ever I went to feed the baby or diaper him or what ever I had my oldest to come hand me things I needed or to get into the bath and play with his brother.I learnt with then two to let the older ones know that the baby I was carring was their baby and they had to do everything for him/her.And after about a week the figured out let that baby have mommy when they won't I ain't changing no poopy diapers.Oh yes and when the baby is napping have a picnic in the yard or in the living room floor anywhere that it is just you and him.Just make some mommy and me time.

Answer 7

my brother in law started peeing and pooping his pants when his little sister was born way back. studies have shown bringing a baby home between 2 and 3 and half years old is the worst time cause they are now realizing they are a seperate person from you and hes had all that attention. Honey my friends litlte girl is gonna be turning 4 right after her new one is born and im like if ya need her to come over here, bring her,lol shes gonna know hard soon!!
Just take away all his toys when he breaks stuff, and DONT GIVE IT BACK TIL HE EARNS IT!

Answer 8

your son is feeling left out, and his new sister is the reason why. before she came along, he was the center of your world. now he has to compete with her for affection and attention, so he is doing anything he can to get ANY KIND of attention, whether its good or bad. you need to make sure you teach him to desire only the good attention. if he poops on the floor, make him help you clean it up. then, put him in time out and dont give him any dinner. you need to make him HATE being bad, but you can do it without spanking. get a wheeling box or cart that will fit all of his toys, and whenever he is bad, take him to his room, and take all of his toys out. if he hits you, you grab his hand, and say "NO! You don't hit" then put him in the corner in the living room for 15 minutes. if he moves, or tries to get away or talk, u put him back in that corner for an additional 10 minutes. if he talks back to you, make him take a nap. there are many ways to make sure he regrets being naughty, and hopefully change his pattern without spanking him. if these methods dont work, then it is likely he has some sort of ADD or ADHD and needs to be put on ritalin or some kind of medication to calm him down and make him smarter. as for pooping on the floor, i think he is trying to show u he is still a baby and still needs baby attention. make sure you talk to him, and tell him "ur a big boy now! don't poop on the floor anymore, or i'll start putting diapers on you and everyone will make fun of you because you are too old!" anyhow, hope my advice helps. i know it will work.

Answer 9

Three is defenately a fun age hey? I agree with taking his toys away when he breaks things, I tried it with my son when he refused to eat. It worked. So try extending it for other bad behaviors. With pooping on your floor threaten to put him back in diapers like a baby. Tell him he is a big boy cause he helps mommy with the baby but if he keeps pooping on the floor then he needs to be back in diapers like a baby.

Answer 10

He is doing these things for attention. Don't forget children don't differentiate between good and bad attention all they know is that when they do something and you respond they are getting your attention whether it is negativly or positivly. Since at 5 months your daughter no longer needs your undivided attention you need to start spending some alone time with your son.