My husband's new found passion is fishing, but when his son (8 y.o) comes, his son doesn't want to go. My husband still goes without him. His son has been here for the last 3 weekends-which he is with us usually every weekend) I think that it has something to do on how his dad makes him feel (priority wise). I'll try to do things with my kids and step-son to keep him busy while his dad is 'busy with something else', but I can't help but feel bad to see the look on my step-son's face. I'm sure he'd rather be spending time with his dad.
I just came home and my husband just said, "if you're trying to make me feel guilty about going...it's not gonna work!"
I myself am not bothered with my husband going fishing, but I just feel bad for my step-son's feelings. Should I just stay out of it?
2007-05-11 14:15:08 · 13 answers · asked by LoveSlave 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
I have told my husband how it could be making his son feel. I told him the looks I see on his son's face. I don't think it's a good idea that I sit them down to talk, because that would cause a lot of pressure for both of them (I don't want me and my husband to start arguing about this). I tell him these things so HE can or should initiate with his son, right?
2007-05-11 15:16:08 · update #1
My husband hasn't been with his baby-mama for over 4 years. I've also reminded my hubby to please try to break the trend (not having a close bond with his dad).
2007-05-11 15:26:57 · update #2
my parents have been divorced since i was in kindergarten, now im in 7th. both r remarried. so, i was going to say something but then you said that your husband basically doesnt spend much time w/ his son (i thought u meant something else). at first i was going to say that i learned that step parents wont be thought of as authority or, in your case, his real mom, for a long time- so dont force it. but after reading wat else u had 2 say, i would talk 2 your husband about it. be nice about it, but jsut say that he really does need 2 spend time with his kid. (when was he divorced? cause if it was kinda recent then bring up the fact that hes already going through a hard enough time. ) well, i dont know how much that helped, but i thought id try....
i just wanted 2 add that this kid needs his dad in his life- i've grown up only seeing my dad every other weekend and every other thursday. we r close, but its only becuz he makes an effort. so, try to bond a little w/ the kid, just dont step in 2 much...just really talk to both of them. it sounds lik ur husband fishes a lot-does he have 2 go every time his son is around? the kid is just going to feel lik he doesnt matter to his dad, and that WILL effect him. my 2 older brothers arent 1/2 as close to my dad becuz he wasnt always there for them-it still affects them. sorry this is so long...i just wanted 2 say alot since i can connect 2 what ur saying...
2007-05-11 14:23:26 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like your husband refuses to see what he's doing to his son, so I'm not sure if you would have any impact at all. I would still try to make him see how his son feels. After all, you are his wife, and his son is now part of your your family. You have an obligation to your step-son.
2007-05-11 21:20:12 · answer #2 · answered by JoJo 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My first inclination is to say try and make your husband understand that his son wants to bond with him. It's not about what he does nor is is about trying to make him feel quilty. Sounds like he has a chip on his shoulder. Find out what it is. On the other hand, I'd say the boy just wants to be loved. Perhaps you can be the vessel.
2007-05-11 21:21:23 · answer #3 · answered by Ms. Queen 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Try to get ur step-son to talk to his dad himself. Or sit ur husband down with him and see what happens. Or else he is always going 2 be upset.
2007-05-11 21:19:43 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
No, you shouldn't get involved, but you could quit enabling it.
Let your husband know that you will no longer include the boy, as you don't feel comfortable attempting to substitute. Say that trying to 'fill in' is straining your relationship with the boy and that you will expect him to keep his son with him for the entire weekend, every visit.
2007-05-11 21:20:47 · answer #5 · answered by nora22000 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just tell him you don't care if he goes or not but it hurts his son. Tell him the truth or depending on the boys age talk to him about it and he may really want to tell his dad. It can't hurt to try and your a wonderful step mom for noticing and careing. Good luck.
2007-05-11 21:20:19 · answer #6 · answered by lyttledarlin 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
no i think you should sit them both down and have the step son tell his dad how he feels so that he doesn't go to his mother and tell her and have her confront your husband
2007-05-11 21:20:43 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
What a jerk (sorry) no dont stay out of it it is his son he should do somthing with him he is not your priority and that kid is never going to get to know his dad
2007-05-11 21:21:44 · answer #8 · answered by vampess 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
no , you are one hundred percent right , it is his child and he is the one who should be with him on the weekends that he has them , he is putting himself first and not thinking about his son , or you , i wouldnt stay out of it because it will keep happening and you tell your husband that he doesnt see his son upset but you do !!!
2007-05-11 21:21:08 · answer #9 · answered by dawn p 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
LET HIM KNOW HOW YOU FEEL AND SUGGEST THAT STEP SON PICK HIS TIME WITH DAD ON WHAT HE WANT TO DO AND THEN THE DAD HAS HIS WEEKEND UNLESS DAD HAS A DIFFERENT PROSPECTIVE AT FISHING
2007-05-11 21:21:14 · answer #10 · answered by Judy D 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋