All the money she wants, she can have, except she uses it to take care of my sister's drug habit, and 4 kids. I would never give her money any more when i found out she gives it to my sister, and she uses it for drugs. Mom says she doesn't do that, but nieces tell other wise. She isn't trying to fill her up with the drugs, but she wants to keep her from going to extreme measures(prositution,theift, ) all those things. When i found out, i stopped giving her money, instead i started giving gifts...after hearing,"that must have been exspensive, I am not sure if i need that,you could have just given me the money instead. It kills me, now flowers,brunch,clothing,jewerly, anything, to me has no motherly love to give to her. I don't know what to do now...i am so broken hearted, even things i know she needs, still would be looked at as just material.
I have told her my feelings about her and my sister, she say's " as long as i know what she is doing , i am just happy she is alive.
2007-05-11 14:11:56 · 5 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
i wanted to take her out to a speacial place...she told me to save my money, and if i wanted to get her something....it could come in a cash gift, so that she could use it when she needed it...but i still know what is going to happen with the money. It seems to me, what ever i want to do for her, will mean nothing, cause it isn't going to be cash....i am so lost right now.
2007-05-11 14:13:33 · update #1
Rohawk...you are so on the money...ever word..is what is happening right now....
2007-05-11 14:25:40 · update #2
my heart out to you Sissy.....we 'were' floating in the same boat
2007-05-11 15:24:57 · update #3
Dear Mean...i have tried to intervine,but sis says she will go in when she's ready....thx for ur help.
2007-05-11 16:17:30 · update #4
Just don't give her anything other than a card. If she's going to spurn your gifts, and waste your money, you are not obliged to keep giving. Take her to dinner if you want, but just to a regular restaurant, not a fancy one, so she can't complain about the cost and how you should have given her the money.
And I think it's time to think about an intervention or something with your sister. At this rate you are going to end up alienated from your family. They're going to blame you for everything because you're withholding money. Now, it's your money, and you have every right. But they'll still act like it's your fault.
2007-05-11 14:21:04 · answer #1 · answered by rohak1212 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I agree that by giving the money your mom is supporting your sister's habit. However as a mom I also understand her feelings. Any thing she can do to keep her alive she will. That's just the way a mother's love works'
Maybe it is time for an intervention. Just don't come down too hard on your mom, she is doing what she feels is right. She doesn't want to see her dead. She just hasn't realized she is just prolonging the unavoidable.
I know more about this then you might think. My oldest sister was addicted to prescription narcotics, and my Mom treated her like a child, catering to her every whim. My Mom died two years ago this past February, and my sister died the following July. At the age of 42 all of her internal organs stopped functioning and she died from Septic shock. The one thing that I can be grateful for is my mom didn't have to see how painful my sisters last two days were.
2007-05-11 15:14:46 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm so sorry for you. She is very lucky to have you as her daughter. Give her a card! Right, just a card. My Mother is dead and I know if she were staying here and I gave a card she would let on that it was the best present of the day. You will also be helping your sister and most of all her kids. Stay Strong!
2007-05-11 14:21:02 · answer #3 · answered by lucyshines49 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You must detach and realize that your mother is an enabler to your sister and there is nothing you can do. Give her a nice card and message written saying I never seem to give you the right thing. Then move on mentally. You cannot solve this sick situation . It truly does not involve you sorry to say. I doubt your mom will even notice what you do. You owe it to yourself to move on.
2007-05-11 14:33:18 · answer #4 · answered by barthebear 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You sound like a great daughter! I dont know how much money we're talking about here but if you could have enough to convince your sister to go to rehab and you pay for it withyour mother maybe as a gift to her? I know it's mother's day but I'm sure it would really make your mother very happy to see her lost daughter back on track. Atleast have a talk about it!
Good luck!â¥!
2007-05-11 15:33:22 · answer #5 · answered by I Am Jack's Wasted Life 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋