Mom trouble.?

Question

Everything that happens in my family is my fault. Everything that is the divorce, but even still, I feel like it's because of me. That's okay, I don't mind. But you'd think if they blame everything on me, at least they would be nicer. My mom makes fun of my dreams, me, and everything I do. Nothing is every quite right to her. I try to pretend nothing is wrong, because the past times I've told her she's hurting my feelings, she laughs it off or gets extremely mad and begins yelling and lecturing me about appreciation. Another thing is she completely favours my brother and everyone can tell. But nobody dares tell her because they'll get yelled at. If my brother says something nasty to her, she'll laugh and tell him to go to his room. If I say something nasty, she'll make a big scene out of it and make fun of me. She will lecture me for the next three days, and give me the cold shoulder for the next three months. How can I get her to really really listen to me?

My dad doesn't do anything to stop her. That's why they got a divorce. He goes all out of his way to avoid her and doesn't say anything when she gets mad. His advice to me is to stay quiet and pretend nothing is wrong. It's highly unlikely he'll save me from anything. Besides he lives on a completely different continent.

Answer 1

Holy crap, that sounds like MY mother. Sounds like you guys need a little family counseling. Can't you go live with your dad? I did and it seemed to help my relationship with my mom.

Answer 2

My wife went through something similar, except her parents are still married. But, her younger brother was preferred over her and obviously so.

She and I got married just before she turned 19, so she was able to get away while she was still young. Now, don't run off and get married to escape - that is just how it turned out for us (over 21 years ago).

One option is saving every penny you can (orange savings from ing gets best interest) and plan to move out when you're old enough. You don't have to live in such circumstances.

Also, if you have a good friend who knows how to remain confidential, who is a good "sounding board", you may find some relief in venting once in a while.

You looking to go to college? Choose one out of state, if you can. If you go to school locally, get a part time job (don't overschedule yourself) which will give you more time out of the house.

As far as your mom listening - well, it seems she just doesn't see or understand anyway. I'll bet she sees other parents doing the same thing and says, "That's a shame." From what I've read here, she sounds like a copy of my mother in law, and she would say that. She would never see or acknowledge her unbalanced meanness. Do your best to honor and respect her just as she is. It seems she has problems that are old and deep - you are seeing symptoms of fairly deep issues.

Be patient (it's not easy), be good, do well in school. Don't engage in pointless arguments with you mom. This way, you keep yourself blameless. Don't bring up anything you know will result in ridicule or lecture (if you can help it).

My wife reminded me that her main source of strength came from God Himself. She chose Jesus Christ to be her Lord and knew she could go to Him any time. He kept her strong and patient and protected her from what could have been a whole lot worse. She still had to "ride out the storm", but He was there with her the whole time.

Answer 3

Wow, first off, I am so sorry she treats you that way...that really doesn't seem cool and I couldn't tell you why that happens...

Well, it looks like you've tried everything. If she just plain doesn't want to listen, then I'm sorry, but that's really screwed up. What about your dad? I know you mentioned your parents are divorced but do you feel comfortable talking to your dad?

I guess the best you can do here is to keep telling her how much her attitude towards you is affecting you. It's really taking a toll on your life and that's not what should happen...

Answer 4

I know how this feels in some aspects. All I have to say is get away for a while and become independant, once she sees that you're growing up, she'll think about the way that she's treating you.
I'm sorry that you have to go through this, I know, it sucks. But once it's over with you will realize that you're stronger because of it.
If you need any help, you can email me at [e-mail], I will help you with all the support you need.

Answer 5

Short answer: you can't. The imprtant thing is to take care of you. You don't mention your age, but I'm going to guess you're under 18. If you are old enough to get a job, get one. Save as much money as you can so that you can move out when you reach 18. The added bonus to this is that if you're at work, you're not at home and around her abusiveness. Your mother is who she is, and no one except her can change that. Be true to yourself, know you're worthy of being loved, and save up for that apartment of your very own.

Answer 6

By moving in with your dad.Tell her he's a superior parent.If he isnt able or wont take you in,request a foster parent.Tell her youd rather take your chance with strangers because you already know what you have with her.

Answer 7

well certainly she is not so nice to u....feel bad to ask but is she ur step-mum...just a possibility..

if not...why dont u ask ur dad to support u....this is not the way she should treat u...she is ur mum n u r her daughter..she has to be friendly...otherwise its no point of her being a mother to u..

ask ur dad to speak to her!!!!

Answer 8

SO SORRY BUDDY BUT I CANT SAY I NO WHAT YOUR GOING THROW ME IM INCEST WITH MY MOM SO I MAKE LOVE TO HER AND SHE NOT JUST MY MOM SHES MY SISTER WE HAVE THE SAME DAD