Is staying married and working through the bad times a Christian thing only? Do you think divorce is bad?

Question

Recent polls say the average marriage in America only last 2 years. I personally think the American view of marriage is not good. It seems like divorce is no big deal anymore. What are your view on marriage? Should a husband and wife stay together at all cost?

Answer 1

No, they should not stay together. They're not getting cosmic brownie points they can cash in after having wasted their lives.

If anything, divorce rates are an argument for not getting married in the first place. People rush into things they're not ready for.

Christians divorce just as much as anyone else, and if you look at regional rates of religious belief and divorce, Christians are MORE likely to divorce (more divorce in the southern Bible belt states than in New England). It's more of an economic and social thing than religious.

Answer 2

Well you have to consider both 1) the validity/credibility of a poll and 2) (more importantly) the context and other factors.

2 Years is actually a common separation point, both for married and dating couples. After that the next most common breakup point is 4 years. It's sensible that most marriages would end at those points, since that's when most relationships end.

Working through the bad times is certainly not a christian thing... The Barna Research Group (a christian group mind you) was surprised to find that christians actually have the highest divorce rates of any other religion by far (Interestingly agnostics/atheist couples had the lowest divorce rates). Evangelicals and protestants were the worst, but catholics were not far behind. They have since been encouraging christians to try and work on their marriages and not leave it up to god and so on. They are alarmed and disappointed.

So if there is a marriage problem* all signs point to the dysfunction being because of the christians.


*And there really isn't. The New York Times ran an article a while ago about how the divorce rate is exaggerated and outdated predictions are accepted as reality. The average divorce rate now is closer to 27% (Protestants are at 32% and atheists are at 24%). So once christians get their act together the divorce rate should fall further.

Answer 3

Marriage is not only a commitment between the two getting married, but also a commitment before God. It is a symbol of the union between God and the church, and God wants nothing more than to keep that relationship. The bible talks about God hating divorce and this is why Christians try so hard to work things out in their marriages. However, it doesn't only apply to Christians.
I believe a couple should do everything in their power to make the marriage work. You don't get married to fight everyday. No matter what, there are going to be differences between the two. Its all just a matter of how to make it work for the both of them. When the focus isn't on me me me, but on how to make the other happy, it's not hard to stay together. People are just so self-absorbed and inconsiderate now-a-days that they claim irreconcilable differences without even trying to make things better.
In the case of abuse, adultery, or anything like that, it is my personal belief that prayer can change things. If God says to stay, then stay. If He says leave, then by all means!

Answer 4

Working through a marriage is most definitely not a Christian concept.( the ancient Romans and Greeks practiced it and so have other cultures and even some atheist.) I think divorce is not bad, I think it is a suitable ending to something that was a bad idea for some in the first place.

Hey, I see I got a thumbs down response well isn't divorcing better than killing them. The vows are til death do us part it ain't all that specific on what kinda death had to do them apart.

Answer 5

A good marriage does not require a perfect man or a perfect woman. It only requires a man and a woman committed to strive together toward perfection.
-Dallin H. Oaks, General Conference, April 2007

Elder Oaks gave an exceptional talk on marriage and divorce... if you have time, you should read it, should only take a few mintues. Even if you are not LDS, he gives valuable advice and counsel.
http://www.lds.org/portal/site/LDSOrg/menuitem.b12f9d18fae655bb69095bd3e44916a0/?vgnextoid=2354fccf2b7db010VgnVCM1000004d82620aRCRD&locale=0&sourceId=ec21b5658af22110VgnVCM100000176f620a____&hideNav=1

My parents are divorced and honestly, it was the correct decision and best one for our family. My father was uninterested in being a husband and father. After 6 years of trying to make the marriage work, he basically said to my mom - Let's stay married but live our own lives.
My mom wanted a man to share a family and life with, not a roommate.
She remarried a wonderful LDS man, they are sealed in the temple and have been married for 25 years.
No marriage is ever perfect, but I think people give up too easily.

Answer 6

well here is my opinion.......all marriage means is you pay for a piece of paper to legalize that you are with someone forever. Why in the world do you need a piece of paper to prove that? Christians say it is bad to have sex before marriage and etc but back in the "biblical" times you didnt have to have a marriage license all you did was have a ceremony to publicly have an alliance with one another. The license part is something the government puts there for more money. And the leading cause for divorce is.....(drum roll please).....MARRIAGE!!!! so is it really divorce that is the problem or is marriage the problem after the divorce rate would be 0% if it wasnt for the greedy government wanting money then we wouldnt have to get a license and theferore they couldnt maintain a rate to compare the divorce percentage. If you love someone then just let it be because if it is true love why do have to prove it with a silly piece of paper. I have been married before and he put me in the hospital and almost killed me......the other answer to your question is that NO a couple shouldnt stay together at all cost that would stupid...why be unhappy so u dont put a dent in the divorce percentage????

Answer 7

I don't think that staying together is a 'Christian' thing only.. but it helps. Personally, I take my wedding vows very seriously - the part 'til death do us part' meant something to me... and I will not be a person who breaks my word..so being Christian, yes, has helped to keep us together
But here is the interesting thing - twice I considered leaving over differences, but thinking about my vows etc.. divorce isn't an option... as soon as I decided that - solutions came! Couples who don't consider divorce, at least in my case, put more into the marriage that they plan on staying in.
Our marriage (23 years now!) has NEVER been better... we work at making each other happy.

Answer 8

Polls are misleading and it's sorry people buy into it because they are contradicting to God's Word.
As a christian and living in this real world. I do believe you should work at your marriage with all your heart, soul, and mind. However... there are certain issues that I would advise separation with counseling, possibly long term until everyone comes to reality and put in proper perspective. There is a cost that family members shouldn't have to pay. Some cost are lives, innocence, emotional and psychological, much, much more.
But for those who know God as Father and have a heart after Him, I say don't give in to the devils tactics. Get together and love on each other. Time with each other is quality. The spouses should listen to each other and what God has to say between them, not from whomever else, other than Pastor- Elders who have the wisdom of God in their lives.<><

Answer 9

Everyone has hard times. Marriage is hard work and that work never ends. I believe if there is love, there is always a way to make it work. However, I do not believe in staying together at all costs. I refer to 3 valid reasons to divorce as the 3 "A's:"

1. Abuse
2. Adultery
3. Addiction

Answer 10

Divorce is bad. My mom and dad got divorced and left me w/ my grandparents. You don't know the ridicule you get when that happens. Divorce hurts people. I think that once a man and woman get married, that they should remain like that forever. Most women say "Oh! I can't stand it anymore. I will die if I stay w/ him". Well, my grandparents fight every day literally and they have been married for 39 years and they're still together.