...I told my girl to quit her job, because i wanted her to go to the gym: work out and have a better physical figure...I told her i was going to support her(money) all i ask is that i wanted her to look sexier and to work out for her own good....I just want her to be hotter...she called me shallow and an asshole..what did i do wrong?? is her body after all...what would you respont?
2007-05-11 11:20:58 · 65 answers · asked by paisa007 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
How about giving me your credit card # and you can pay for my rent & gym membership! haha my responce would be ok sure...then i would spend the hell outta ur money and while u were workin all day to pay for all my sh*t i would be bangin my trainer! LMAO,but im sure some people r gonna believe u really did this!
2007-05-11 11:23:41 · answer #1 · answered by CRYSTAL S 6 · 8⤊ 1⤋
Tact. Girls want to be desired and honored. If the motivation for you telling her to quit her job was because you felt she deserved to take a break from working, then she would be fine. She might have even decided to start working out with all of that free time.
However, I think most girls would consider it tactless to tell them to quit because they are not good looking enough. Most girls are uncomfortable in their own bodies, even if they have the 36-24-36 figure. They always feel like they could be better or compare themselves to whoever most guys are ogling at the time. This insecurity that your girlfriend has probably was compounded by your comments. You could say the same thing, but with a different tone, and you would probably seem like a dream guy to them. But what do I know, I do stuff like this all the time to my girlfriend on accident.
2007-05-11 11:29:12 · answer #2 · answered by Michael Y 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You hurt her feelings. She now thinks that you won't love her unless she is hot looking.
That's pretty scary when you think about the fact that we don't stay young and beautiful forever.
She is afraid that when she gets older, you will dump her for someone younger and hotter looking.
That's something she cannot control. She also knows now, that you will forever be looking at other women and wishing they were yours. She has also had to deal with the thought of you cheating on her with someone prettier.
You pretty much told her that you can't be in love with her unless she looks a certain way.
She's crying because she's hurting inside and she's scared.
She is also wondering if NO guy finds her attractive.
What you did wrong was put too much emphesis on looks.
2007-05-11 11:30:43 · answer #3 · answered by Molly 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
she thinks that you don't think she's attractive enough the way she is. girls want to be liked and loved for who they are on the inside, not what they look like on the outside. girls have enough self esteem problems without being told they could look better. if i were you, i would try and explain to her that you think she looks beautiful the way she is, but maybe you're worried about her health (if indeed she does have poor eating habits). asking her to quit her job though is a bit over the edge. perhaps you both can get a gym membership and work out together after work? that would be good couples time, and it would help the both of you to feel better and be less stressed. good luck.
2007-05-11 11:26:03 · answer #4 · answered by kelsey 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Dude this girl probably thinks that you are trying to purchase her the same way butchers purchase sides of beef. Sounds like she called you an asshole because you told her that you wanted her to be hotter instead of telling her that you cared about her health. This is not the 20's and she wants and deserves her independence. Also, I'm gonna guess that you belong to a health club yourself. Try bringing her along as a guest by letting her know that you care about her health. If you don't belong to a club your a major horses ***.
2007-05-11 11:30:39 · answer #5 · answered by DAVID C 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Wow, that is pretty shallow. How would you feel if you girlfriend turned to you and said "Honey I want you to quit your job and go to school, I think you're pretty stupid and I think school will help you. Its for your own good." Pretty harsh eh?
1) If your girlfriend is overweight and you're worried about her health - tell her that and explain you want to be supportive because you want her to be healthy and happy and with you for a long time. Looking sexy for you is not a valid reason.
2) if your girlfriend is just fine and you just want her to be skinnier/look better for you in a swim suit - you need to re-evaluate whats important to you. If you love your girlfriend you should love her as she is.
Also telling her to quit her job is demeaning, her job may be important to her and a way to show her independence. By telling her to quit and go work out is as bad as telling her you want her bare-foot and pregnant. The statement may be different, but its the same mind set.
2007-05-11 11:27:16 · answer #6 · answered by oimiz 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You're a jerk!
Did you even think about how you made her feel?
1. Many women like being independant.
2. She may love her job!
3. You've taken a big chunk out of her self esteem - you practically said she was ugly!
4. How would YOU feel if she wanted to support you and told you that you weren't hot enough!
2007-05-11 11:25:41 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
If you don't know the answer, then she's correct!
Seriously, her job is important to her and there is no reason for her to feel that she needs to improve her appearance, just to please you. You need to accept her and love her as she is.
The other thing you did was you tried to take away her independence and freedom of choice. OK, I'm a guy, but that wasn't a difficult question for me. Better luck with the next girlfriend. I'd be surprised if she gives you a second chance.
2007-05-11 11:39:04 · answer #8 · answered by Mover50 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wow - you don't understand women very well.
You're basically telling your girl that you don't want her to be smart or successful, you just want her to be your own personal eye candy. Her personality, her interests, her ambitions...none of that matters as long as she has a hot bod for you to brag about.
It also tells her that you don't think she's pretty or sexy right now. That's not a nice thing to say to a girl, especially if you're her boyfriend!
THAT'S why she cried. I would too.
You better come up with a pretty darn good apology, or this one will bite you for a looooong time!
2007-05-11 11:28:24 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
ever seen the movie "shallow Hal"? If not apparently you should. Judging a woman solely on her looks is ridiculous. If you really loved her physical attraction would only be part of the equation. Assuming you really don't know why what you said was so offensive, you should go to counseling.
2007-05-11 11:28:14 · answer #10 · answered by michelle j 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well you should have told her that if she wanted to go to the gym with you so she wouldnt feel bad about her body. I get that you want her to be hotter but you cant tell her like that and she thinks that you are shallow because she thinks that you only care about her body and looks.
PLEASE DONT EVER DO THAT AGAIN!!!!!
2007-05-11 11:27:30 · answer #11 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋