She always acts like I'm a guest when I go to my moms house, she always says when are you going home? Everytime you come over you always leave this house dirty ( which Its not true I do clean) and the other day she told me you made me fail my test because you were here (she is in the RN Program) so sometimes I don't like going over there because I feel unwnated I usually keep quiet and tell her Shut up and cuss at her sometimes my mom usually yells at her and tells her the same shut up I don't know what to do when I am not at my moms she calls me and yes we talk on the phone she apolgizes by saying oh sorry bout yesterday I had a big test and I tell her well so do I I am in Law school and I have major projects you dont see me talking crap. By the way she lives with my mom she is 26 I am 25 living on my own she lives with my mother still because she is going to school to become a Doctor and she is in the RN program.
What should I do about this situation?
2007-05-11 11:04:09 · 10 answers · asked by Pretty me :) 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
You didn't say how old your daughter is. I don't know if she may be disturbing your sister so she takes it out on you. I could see my sister doing that. It could also be that your sister is jealous of you because you are on your own with your daughter and putting yourself through law school while she is single and having to live at home to get through her schooling. Maybe every time you're there it reminds her of this and she feels like a failure.
I could be completely wrong, but I have an older sister that has always been jealous of me and she was down right cruel to me sometimes. I wasn't trying to do anything to make her jealous, I was just living my life. We are very different people so we took different paths in life. I see her as being successful because she's been married for 25 years, has a 19 y/o son, has a cute house, and seems quite happy. She looks at me, though, and sees that I went to college, I married an MD/PhD, I have 2 kids, a bigger house, and my own business.
Talk to your sister. See if you can get to the real root of the problem. Your mom should be in on it at some point, too, but you may want to start just with the two of you. If you go into the conversation trying to be understanding, putting yourself in her shoes, it may open the doors.
I hope this helps and I wish you the best of luck. I only have my sister since my mom has passed away. We don't always get along, but I'd hate for us to be estranged from each other for some silly reason just because we didn't talk about it. Take care!
2007-05-11 12:48:13 · answer #1 · answered by Dulcet 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I used to get into fights with my youngest brother when I visited my parents. (He was still living at home.) It came to head when we got into a major fight shortly after my mother got out of the hospital from major surgery. My father threw a fit and declared thier home a fight free zone and told us that if we pulled this again we would all have to leave...even my brother that was living at home.
Your mother should do the same, but you cant control her. Nor can you control your sister. Good news, is you can control yourself. Decide not to get into these battles with your sister. You can decide to just leave when your sister is tripping. Is it fair, no it is not, but doesnt your mother deserve some peace? Dont you, and dare I say, doesnt your sister?
If your mother wont do it, peraps you can in a calm moment sit down with your sister to discuss your issues and ask her to agree that you will not fight at the house for your mothers sake.
Good luck
2007-05-11 11:32:08 · answer #2 · answered by CHELLE BELLE 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just say you're hear to spend time with both of them. That you're not there to "disrupt" her life. Tell her if she's stressed from school, that's all you gotta say. Not use that as an excuse to be rude to you. Maybe she's unhappy with something and just like to take it out on you. Don't engage with her and be the bigger person. If she feels she can't provoke you then she'l cool it. Also, don't stay away because of that. Just explain to her and do as you've always done. Good luck! =)
2007-05-11 11:09:31 · answer #3 · answered by Amy L 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell her that you have the right to do whatever you want in your moms home that she says you can. She lives WITH your mom but that is your MOMs house and she has no right to dictate rules to you or say anything about it at all to you. Talk more with your mom about it.
2007-05-11 11:09:07 · answer #4 · answered by debbie v 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
people are very different and we should try to accept them as they are, specially if they are our relatives. Ur sister looks to be rather nice girl - she tries to apologize when she feels that she might have hurt U. am not sure that she tries to use the situation --- try to imagine what would be her question about U on Yahoo Answers ...
U are grown up and may understand different situations. the question is about Ur daughter - if U feel that visits to Ur mother's house hurts Ur daughter then U should reduce such visits - may be better Ur mother visit you.
2007-05-11 11:31:49 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
how your sister feels is nothing its how your mom feels. this is your moms home not your sister. tell her that she makes it uncomfortable for you at your moms home and maybe she will back off. maybe your sister has some major problems in her life. u need to talk to her and find out whats wrong.
2007-05-11 11:10:18 · answer #6 · answered by mccormick 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
me and my sister used to fight all the time she now lives in Germany and I wld do anything to have her home. You both have to relize you are sisters and that when noone else is there for you all you will have is each other. It won't happen overnight GOD knows me and my sis about killed each other at times as we got older we relized how much we truely mean to each other be patient it will happen GOOD LUCK....
2007-05-14 08:09:22 · answer #7 · answered by RED 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is definitely a sister thing. You'll have to get all 3 of you together, that's your mother too, and talk this out.
2007-05-11 11:08:57 · answer #8 · answered by luckford2004 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Put her in her place immediately. She's acting like a child. Tell her so and remind her that she is a "guest" in your mother's home as well.
Good luck!
2007-05-11 11:10:14 · answer #9 · answered by Starla_C 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
sounds like it is pretty much under control
your mom tells her not to mouth off and that is about all she can do.
looks like you both are under a lot of stress.
next time bring over lunch.
2007-05-11 11:08:33 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋