enter all your blonde jokes here?

Question

A blonde and brunnette are going to jump off a bridge together which hit the water first


the brunette because the blonde had to ask for directions on the way down

Answer 1

How do you entertain a blonde?


On a piece on paper write flip over on both sides!

Answer 2

Thanks.4/10.

Answer 3

How do you know when a blonde is having a bad day?

There is a tampon behind her ear and she is looking for her pencil...

How do you drown a blonde?

Put a scratch n sniff sticker on the bottom of the pool

What do you call a blonde in between two brunettes?

confused

What do you call a brunette in between two blondes?

an interpreter

Answer 4

I've just asked this one:
http://uk.answers.yahoo.com/question/index;_ylt=Amep5kwIJS6qlgHcESq_A7EgBgx.?qid=20070511142239AA5cg3Q

2 blondes are sat in an aeroplane. Going over the ocean, the captain announces "i'm afraid to say that one of our engines has failed, and are now running on 3. We will be an hour late"
Further on, he announces, "another engine has failed, and we are running on only 2 engines, we'll be 2 hours late"
Further again he says, "3 engines have failed, we will be 3 hours late"

Soon, the captain announces, " i'm afraid to say our fourth and final engine has failed", to which the blonde turns to another and says, "We'll be here all day at this rate"

Answer 5

you hear about the blond kept running out of shampoo?

the instructions on the bottle read 1) wet hair 2)apply shampoo 3)lather 4)rinse 5) repeat

Answer 6

why did the blonde bring her typewriter to the hospital?

she missed a period and thought she was pregnent

Answer 7

An Irishman, a Mexican and a Blonde Guy were doing construction work on scaffolding on the 20th floor of a building. They were eating lunch and the Irishman said, "Corned beef and cabbage! If I get corned beef and cabbage one more time for lunch, I'm going to jump off this building."


The Mexican opened his lunch box and exclaimed, "Burritos again! If I get burritos one more time I'm going to jump off, too."


The blond opened his lunch and said, Bologna again! If I get a bologna sandwich one more time, I'm jumping too."


The next day, the Irishman opened his lunch box, saw corned beef and cabbage, and jumped to his death. The Mexican opened his lunch, saw a burrito, and jumped, too. The blonde guy opened his lunch, saw the bologna and jumped to his death as well.


At the funeral, the Irishman's wife was weeping. She said, "If I'd known how really tired he was of corned beef and cabbage, I never would have given it to him again!"


The Mexicans wife also wept and said, "I could have given him tacos or enchiladas! I didn't realize he hated burritos so much." Everyone turned and stared at the blonde's wife.


The blonde's wife said, "Don't look at me. He makes his own lunch!
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A blonde dyed her hair brown cause she was sick and tired of all the blonde jokes. One day, she was driving down a country road when she saw a field full of sheep. She stopped and approached the shepard, "Hey, if I guess how many sheep are in the field, can I have one?" The shepard looked at the field then at her and shrugged his shoulders, "Sure, why not?" So, she promptly popped out, "316." The shepard's mouth dropped open in supprize, "Wow!! That's right go ahead, pick one." So she picked one out and began to stuff it in her car. When she got in and was about to go, the shepard came running up to her, "Miss, if I can guess the real color of your hair, can I have my dog back?"

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There was a blonde in a row boat, patiently rowing down a street. Another blonde drove up and got out of her truck. She began screeching angrily and waving her hands about,"What are you doing?" "Rowing," the blonde in the boat coolly replied, humming merrily to herself. "In a street? It's dumb blondes like you who give us bad names," the blonde by the car raged, "and if I could swim, I'd swim out there and teach you a thing or two!!!"
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A Blonde's Brain At Work:

A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead all work at the same office for a female boss who always goes home early.

"Hey, girls," says the brunette, "let's go home early tomorrow. She'll never know."

So the next day, they all leave right after the boss does. The brunette gets some extra gardening done, the redhead goes to a bar, and the blonde goes home to find her husband having sex with the female boss! She quietly sneaks out of the house and returns at her normal time.

"That was fun," says the brunette. "We should do it again sometime."

"No way," says the blonde. "I almost got caught."
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Blonde - Elmo Factory:

Once there was a blonde who really needed some money. She saw an ad in the newspaper for a job at an Elmo factory. She went down and applied, but the manager told her that she wouldn't want the job because it was so boring. The blonde begged him and told him she would do anything because she needed the money really bad. After long consideration the manager hired her.

After a few hours the manager looked at the video-monitor showing the factory floor and saw that the conveyer belt was backed up. The manager went downstairs to find out what the problem was. When he arived there the blonde was sewing two marbles into the crotch of every Elmo.

The manager said, ''I said to give each Elmo two test tickles; not two testicles!''
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Two sisters, one blonde and one brunette, inherit the family ranch. Unfortunately, after just a few years, they are in financial trouble. In order to keep the bank from repossessing the ranch, they need to purchase a bull so that they can breed their own stock. The brunette balances their checkbook, then takes their last $600 dollars out west to another ranch where a man has a prize bull for sale.
Upon leaving, she tells her sister, "When I get there, if I decide to buy the bull, I'll contact you to drive out after me and haul it home."
The brunette arrives at the man's ranch, inspects the bull, and decides she does want to buy it. The man tells her that he can sell it for $599, no less.
After paying him, she drives to the nearest town to send her sister a telegram to tell her the news. She walks into the telegraph office, and says, "I want to send a telegram to my sister telling her that I've bought a bull for our ranch. I need her to hitch the trailer to our pickup truck and drive out here so we can haul it home."
The telegraph operator explains that he'll be glad to help her, then adds, "It's just 99 cents a word."
Well, after paying for the bull, the brunette only has $1 left. She realizes that she'll only be able to send her sister one word. After thinking for a few minutes, she nods, and says, "I want you to send her the word, 'comfortable.'"
The telegraph operator shakes his head. "How is she ever going to know that you want her to hitch the trailer to your pickup truck and drive out here to haul that bull back to your ranch if you send her the word, 'comfortable'?"
The brunette explains, "My sister's blonde, she'll read it very slow."
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A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead are crossing an enchanted bridge in Magical Fairyland when they run into a fairy. The fairy says that they can be granted a transformation if they jump off the bridge and call out their wish. The brunette immediately jumps off the bridge and yells "Eagle!" She turns into a beautiful bird of prey and flies away. The redhead jumps off the bridge and yells out "Salmon!" She turns into a gorgeous shimmering salmon and swims upstream to spawn. The blonde is at this point so excited that she jumps off the bridge without thinking of her wish. She panics.
"Crap!"

Answer 8

Q:what did the blonde chick say to the black dude?


A: oh, thats OK OJ, I don't mind that you murdered 2 people, I still want to do you....

Answer 9

paris hilton. wait, is that sad or funny?