Hi, Im in a real dilemma. I have been dating my b/f for 2 yrs now. We were good friends b4 that. When we started dating we fell for each other really quickly. He told me he wanted to get married ASAP which i was happy with coz i love him. Problem is i told him to get a job first. Im workin full time, but its been 2 years and he still doesnt have a job. Hes quite possessive n i had to make a lot of changes for him in my life, like i dropped all my male friends, ive made sure i am there wheneva he wants me. But im beginning to feel like hes leading me on. Am i overreacting? It jst seems every1 else is gettin married n settled n im still stuck where I was 2 yrs ago.
2007-05-11 10:14:01 · 16 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Marriage. Serious business! I don't think you're asking yourself the right questions. Do you want children? Do you want this man to support your children? The best advice I can give is that you need to ask whether your man will fulfill his role as your husband. Devoted or lazy, what you see in him now is what you'll get for life.
2007-05-11 10:34:27 · answer #1 · answered by Boss Smiley 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
HINT, HINT!
You get to be married but you have to get a job first--? That's like you get to have dessert, but you have to eat your squash first.--and then giving them a little dessert anyway for 2 years, Hello??
You have to drop your male friends, give him sex, take care of him, and he will get a job and get married because?????
Why should he? He is getting what he wants and making you just through hoops for him.
He'd be crazy. You ARE crazy.
Yes, you are being led on. Give him the benefit of the doubt and assume he doesn't MEAN to. He is just doing it because it is easier.
Yes, you are stuck where you were 2 years ago, and so is he.
You are not happy stuck there, he is.
Who must change? YOU!!!
You cannot make him love you, get a job, keep a job, keep his promises, or anything else.
You can tell him he has exactly 5 minutes to get out of your your house, and find someone else to "work."
Or pack your duds and move on. Tell him when he has had a job for a year, to give you a call.
If you are still available, you will consider giving him another chance. (As soon as you do, he will quit his job.)
The man has no passion, no drive, no ambition, no guts. Why do you want to chain yourself and your(future) children to a loser like that?
What is so awful about loving someone who works, takes care of YOU, and loves his life? You do not have to SETTLE, just because your friends are all getting married. So what?
They will be the first to get divorced, too.
Be a leader, control your own future, and don't lump along taking any guy who will "love" you.
How has he been surviving? Who has been supporting him? Why would a grown man let anyone support him-unless he was injured?
Run, honey!
2007-05-11 10:35:57 · answer #2 · answered by Lottie W 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You responded your guy or woman question incredibly. you assert how he's and any human beings analyzing it could tell that he's a shithead. i does on no account manage my woman that way. you ought to weigh the variety you want your toddler to advance up. you want your toddler to have a solid male impact over it. in the journey that your a parent then you quite not merely artwork on your wellbeing however the wellbeing of that youngster. 3 years feels like a protracted time while your youthful. ask your self...the place will this relationship be 5 years from now. your toddler is one million twelve months previous now....you ought to do regardless of you will do now. that's the element while that youngster can heat as much as a distinctive guy or woman rapidly. often times you ought to harm a relatives to make a relatives. Do what's powerful for you and the youngster.....provide the two one in all you a solid relatives putting. do not placed up with a lazy significant different.
2017-01-09 16:16:46 · answer #3 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If u r not over reacting.....i think u need to start over reacting!!!...he is out of job for 2 yrs....how in the hell is he going to feed u or ur future family of sweet cute lil babies!!!????
u r right ...he needs to get a job...a stable one with good income!!!...i think u hav made so many adjustments...probably u will b following his orders for the rest of ur life...i am not being mean...but sometimes u shud do compormises in relationship..but NOT all the time.... i am sure there is no harm in some things wich u were doing....and u had to stop it coz ur bf said!!!...
i hav tons of male friends...my bf loves me to death..he is also possessive...but we both compromise on this fact coz we trust each other....n if he feels someone cud harm me..n i feel tht too..i wud leave tht person...
u need to speak to him...this cant go on!! especially getting married when he is not doing anything..or hav no potential to raise the family after marriage!!
be smart, wise and loving to him...he will understand if he wants to...otherwise..u r just wasting time...
i hope he really gets a job n changes a lil bit for u!!!
2007-05-11 10:20:44 · answer #4 · answered by answer it! 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Honey - it sounds like you need to dump this fool and move on. You are working and I am guessing supporting him...
while he sits around on his duff telling you who you can and can not be friends with.........is that correct??
Plus you are there "wheneva he wants"??
Dont you think that you deserve someone who is going
to treat you like a lady?? Someone who has a job and can take you out to dinner or buy you flowers?? Someone who can "wear the pants", "be the man"??
Or maybe you just feel that you don't deserve any better.......
I'll tell you RIGHT NOW.....from experience...... LEAVE HIM!!
If you marry him.....you'll regret it!! If he wont get a job now what makes you think he will ever get a job?? Do you want to support his lazy a*s for the rest of your life??
Do you want someone telling you who you can have as friends??
2007-05-11 10:20:35 · answer #5 · answered by Trish 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sweetie, you won't want to hear this, but move on. You do NOT want to marry this guy. Believe me . . you want to settle down with a full grown adult man who contributes to the relationship in every way, including financial. It's a bad sign that you have been rearranging your life to accommodate him. It's good you are questioning this now because you for sure would be questioning it if you married him.
You can do better for yourself. You deserve a man who is excited about marrying you and working alongside of you to build a life.
Best wishes to you, dear!
2007-05-11 10:30:01 · answer #6 · answered by martinmagini 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You need to tell his lazy a s s to get a job. If he dont want to get one then you should just leave him or you will never get any were. You dont want to be stuck were you are now you want to have something in your life. You should come talk to me. I have a job car and all that other stuff.
2007-05-11 10:20:15 · answer #7 · answered by Chris F 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need a new boyfriend - never involve yourself with a man who refuses to work, it says A LOT about his character. Move on and do it fast.
2007-05-11 10:17:08 · answer #8 · answered by GirlUdontKnow 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You didn't indicate if you are co-habitating...Two years, 24 months, 104 weeks, 731 days,...any way you look at it, it seems like a long time....But maybe you are being impatient...Why not give him a little slack..wait another year, and if he doesn't get a job...run your question again..
2007-05-11 10:26:55 · answer #9 · answered by GITWITIT 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Is this the type of guy you want to spend your life with? Forever is a long time.
2007-05-11 10:17:45 · answer #10 · answered by luckford2004 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋