I have been dating my boyfriend for 6 years and I have a daughter who lives with us?

Question

for the most part I do everything for her, I rarely ask him to buy her anything because I don't want to impose. But right now I'm in the process of looking for a job and I'm kind of broke and I asked him for 7 bucks for my daughter and he said " I don't have it" he did, but he refused to give it to me because he said her dad needs to pay child support. Now my daughters dad was on child support since she was 2 and his last payment was in 2003 according to the child support people. I know where he lives and I know that he does work, but apparently he is working under some alias that's why they are not taking out of his check. My boyfriend thinks that this is some simple process and that I can start collecting checks ASAP, but little does he know that her dad has found a way not to pay and he is avoiding the child support. Anyway, for a man to claim he loves me and we been together for 6 years is it terrible to ask him occasionally to help me with my daughter? I'd like men to ANSWER TOO

Answer 1

i think you need to talk to your ex. he really does need to pay child support. you need to take him to court. as far as your new boyfriend, i could understand him not wanting to take care of your child, because it's not his kid. but at the same time i don't see why $7 matters? especially if you're inbetween jobs. i think you should def. talk to your ex, and talk to your new boyfriend and tell him that you've been together for so long, and you've been through so much together, and you really need help with your daughter. good luck~

Answer 2

Sounds like you need to take your daughter's father to court. If you know for a fact he is working under an alias, the court will take care of it. He should pay for child support until she turns 18, so he has plenty of support to pay and he will have to chatch up for the years he did not pay!! Your boyfriend should be a little more flexible since you are in the process of finding a job, but he should not be responsible for supporting your daughter.

Answer 3

If you have been with this guy for 6 years already and there hasnt been any kind of marriage talk I would be a little worried. He knows that you have a daughter and that you are looking for work. The honest decent thing to do would be to help you. If you are doing things for him he should atleast be willing to help you out until you get on your feet. The child support thing is hard I know. Maybe he just doesnt understand what you are going through.

Answer 4

Hi im her boyfriend! what a crock of BS! I pay all the rent and bills, THEY live with ME! This woman pretends I do nothing for her kid but I take them out ALL OF THE TIME (we triple date more than date) "MYEVILDOG" has drawn a line between me and her daughter from day one! she always praises how her and the baby's father has a "working" relationship. The kid is VERY,VERY fond of her dad! The $7 bucks she asked for was not a first time thing. the seven bucks was a LAST STRAW THING! to top it off we had just finished arguing the night before to a point of ANOTHER BREAK UP! the dad has been dodging his responsibility since 2003,,,2003,,, it is now 2007! Who do you geniouses think was thier when they needed anything? CHILD SUPPORT IS A SIMPLE PROCESS! any male friend of mine who has a kid and is not with the mother is on child support so give me a break! Her duaghter and I get along just fine! everytime before this time that she has asked me for money before this, I have given it to her. We play video games all of the time and I take her swimming, to theme parks and to the store! I even once took her and her half sister on her father's side and one of thier friends to 6 flags! I take extraordinary care of her and her mother! even though since day one I have been told "my daughter has a father"(and a great one), "she doesnt need you to act like her dad", "you cannot dicipline "MY" kid!", "and they will be fine without me"

money for the afterschool program was just the last straw

Answer 5

That's a tough one. I think the biggest question is what role do you want your boyfriend to have in your daughter's life? It sounds like you have taken a very independent role from your boyfriend in raising your child, there is a clearly divided line in the family, you said yourself, you do everything for her, and that has been the expectation from the beginning. Therefore, you have really no right to be upset if he doesn't want to help out, he is adhering to the roles you set up from the beginning.

This said, again, you need to figure out what part of your life you want to share with the 2 most important people to you. Your child deserves to come first, therefore, if you are going to have a boyfriend who lives with you, as part of his being a supportive boyfriend, he should not just be willing, but should actually WANT to be more a part of your child's life. After 6 years, he should trust that you aren't using him to care for your child, but he should want to help when he can. But this is something you need to set as an expectation before you decide to bring someone into both of your lives, and you will have a decision to make if this bothers you as to whether you can live with the lines where they are now, or if you can evolve the relationship to where you combine your lives a bit more.

Hope this helps!

Answer 6

Wow! I know how hard this is just by reading your question. If he has a good jod, her real dad should pay for child support!!!As for the boyfriend. If he really cares about your daughter, he cold give her 7 bucks.Think about what's best for your daughter, and dump him. I know it will be hard after 6 years, but there are other men out there that will love to take care of your daughter. GOOD LUCK!!!

Answer 7

Take the "father" to court. He needs to pay child support. You could probably get him for back-child support from 2003. If you are scrimping for 7 bucks, I would say you are in a desperate situation and need to get the money that is owed to your daughter ASAP.

Answer 8

Obviously I'm not a man, but I do have a daughter from a previous relationship. When I was married to my ex (not her dad) we was glad to help with things I couldn't afford on my own when he could. I do receive support from my daughter's father. I don't feel it is your boyfriend's duty, but not giving you $7 when he has it makes him a douchebag. Who would do that? It is different if it's a lot of money or all the time.

Answer 9

I think you should follow up on the real father paying child support and deal with the issue of you & this boyfriend separately.

I don't think this shows any character on his part, but given you have been dating him for 6 years, and I imagine sleeping with him too, and he has not proposed, I am guessing he does not qualify to really be called a MAN.

Answer 10

He's right to a point. Her Father should be paying support and you need to stay on it and make him pay, get child support enforcement involved. If he isn't going to pay, he can go to jail! But, after six years I would think he would feel like her Father as well and should not have to be asked to help with her! Maybe it's time to rethink this relationship!