i've been dating this guy on and off for 5 years. we are never on the same page. he has a child and he's on and off with his baby's mother but we know than we love eachother. when i wanted more her didnt want to take it to the next level and vice versa. he always wanted to pin point my bad traits but at the same time he tells me how im the right woman for him. he acts so different when we are around certain people. i dont know what to do with him!! now im 21 and im ready for something stable. could it be that he's just keeping me around because the sex is good or is it more???
2007-05-11 09:36:20 · 16 answers · asked by xxshaolinzfinestxx 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
You have alot going on, its hard to say without knowing you both. I know that a huge motivator for men in a relationship is sex. If the sex is good and he can convince you to put up with his crap then he will string you along till you get tired of him not wanting to commit to a real, truly loving relationship. You deserve better! You deserve 100% of a mans commitment, attention and love. It sounds to me like he is playing you. As soon as you start talking about wanting to take it to the next level he will point out your bad traits so you will feel less of yourself and think you cant get another man. When you get sick of him and want out, he tells you how wonderful you are and how you are the perfect woman for him. BULL SHIZ! He's having his cake and eating it too! It feels like he is manipulating you into doing what he wants most of the time. Dont be the fall back girl, when ever she gets sick of him he comes to you. That is wrong and you should tell him its either you or her, not both! No ifs ands or buts, do it today! If he wont leave her for good then you must move on! You deserve it, you should have a man that is committed to a loving relationship with you and only you! You deserve a soulmate, a companion that will work on a lifetime of love and happiness with you and your own family if you both choose to start one togeather. Dont be a wimp, or a doormat. Stand up for yourself, You know you should and you will! Good luck, Swequin
2007-05-11 10:37:49 · answer #1 · answered by swequin 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I know it must be painful, but i think y'all should try not being with each other for a while, if you have been together for five years and your now just 21 that means y'all were together since high school, that's very good and exciting b/c it shows how y'all were able to work things out, but the reason why you both are being reluctant with each other is because y'all been together for so long and y'all were so young that y'all have been able to explore and see what else is out there, besides his baby mother.
This situation really reminds me of that Donnell Jones song, Where I Wanna Be
Listen to it, maybe you'll find an answer you can deal with
2007-05-11 17:08:21 · answer #2 · answered by Sadiq 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He just hangs around for the sex. Here is a secret in human nature. If someone truely likes/loves you for who you are, they won't act funny. They will do whatever it takes to be with you. They won't point out all your flaws as a reason to not go to the next level. They will act normal. If he isn't acting normal, he doesn't really like you.
2007-05-11 16:40:41 · answer #3 · answered by brandonb 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Let's see, you've been dating this guy since you were 17. He has an X whom he seems to have a relationship with and you're the *** on the side. Why are you waiting for him to make the decision and why are you giving him sex with no real relationship?? I say there's nothing wrong with him, there's something wrong with you for staying so long.
2007-05-11 16:45:49 · answer #4 · answered by eva2devine 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
21 and ready for something stable? common, it sounds like you want to settle. if you have been with this guy for 5 years then chances are haven't really played the field much. i suggest you see what else is out there, like a guy who doesn't have a kid and doesn't treat you like #2
2007-05-11 16:43:08 · answer #5 · answered by b_rent2003 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Everyone's saying he's bad, it's bad, whatever . . .
The truth is you got into a realtionship with a guy that wasn't ready. he hasn't separated his heart from her. No bad intentions . . just bad timing.
I suggest giving him space. Let him know you're with him as a friend until the realtionship he has with her is other than man/woman.
He must be completely devoted to you or it isn't a 1 on 1 relationship.
2007-05-11 16:46:43 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are way too young to put up with this guy. When you are old you may have to settle for crap like this, but at 21 you can be picky my dear.
Dump this loser now and move on. Don't you think you deserve better? I do.
2007-05-11 16:42:51 · answer #7 · answered by tammy_anderson68 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes sorry but if hes been dating his babys mother off and on. but still comes back to you at times, hes keeping you in his book so to speak.... let him know your not just a number your ready for a more fullfilling relationship if he doesnt want that then go and meet and find someone who will make you a priority in their life. gl
2007-05-11 16:40:05 · answer #8 · answered by GA 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
BINGO! It's all about the sex, girlfriend. He only lets you get close enough to screw. Drop this guy and look for someone who will appreciate you. 5 years is long enough to play games.
2007-05-11 16:40:53 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
He sounds unstable and you sound like what they call an enabler...that is you make it possible for him to act the way he does.
You say you know you love each other. I have to challenge that. Neither one of you are sure from the way you are acting.
2007-05-11 16:41:03 · answer #10 · answered by Wolfithius 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋