I was seeing this guy for over 2 years. I thought everything was great. I took care of all of his needs but he always left me in the dark when it came around to returning the favor. We moved in together and everything was going fine until his best friend moved in with us. He started suddenly being gone more often and becoming more distant. He broke up with me the day after my birthday. He would not give me a reason. Just that he didnt want this anymore. I continue to talk to him and try to make it work but how do you know when you have done all that you can? I feel stupid for still loving him since he really doesnt show an interest in me anymore unless he wants something sexual. I feel bad about myself and he tells me that the only reason that he doesnt want to be with me is because of my weight. I really love this guy beyond words but how am I supposed to know when over is over? How do you let go of the only thing you have? How do you know when to give up and say screw love? Help...
2007-05-11 09:30:53 · 15 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
You know it's over when he says "he doesnt want this anymore" You don't screw love, you just find someone that truly loves you back.
2007-05-11 09:34:46 · answer #1 · answered by jay k 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
It is really hard to understand it. But, here we go... First you have to be clear that all that matters is YOU and only you. In the search for happiness you always have to consider yourself first. I do not mean to say that you should forget about others, or that you should be selfish.
Your integrity, the value you give to yourself, the respect you deserve is more important than what any body else thinks.
So, with all these things in mind, you should notice that if that relation isn't working, for you, then it should be over. You are not comfortable neither happy and it could be affecting your mental health.
Besides, if he has already shown that he has no interest in the relation as you expect it, then move on. I'm sure there are others around maybe waiting for their chance. But, I recommend you take your time. Rebuilt yourself.
Time is the best healer and if you think you need help, you can try your parents or an expert.
Stand up and say loudly, I love may self and all what I need is me.
2007-05-11 16:49:58 · answer #2 · answered by admolin 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think u just don't like being alone, and if he didn't take care of ur needs u don't need him anyway. u don't sound happy in this. don't feel bad about ur weight love urself big or small, and whoever doesn't like it **** 'em!! if he doesn't think ur good enough for him then definitely don't have sex with him. he doesn't deserve it and he's using u!!! it's over sweetie. u don't love this guy. i think u love the idea of being in love. whatever the situation, love urself more. don't say screw love, love is wonderful. this man can't give u what u need. take the good memories, and lessons & haul ***!!! he sounds like a real asshole. don't ever try to force anyone to love u. u can't make him. and why would u want to? u deserve more. just hold out for the best. also he is not the only thing u have cuz u have ur health and strength and God. don't put all ur love and hope in a man cuz when he leaves ur happiness leaves with him which is giving him too much power. always be around people who appreciate u, and not just tolerate u. always be happy with urself no matter what the situation. u will be ok, just hold on.
2007-05-11 16:49:21 · answer #3 · answered by Audrean L 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You can't force the square peg into the round hole. He only wants you for sexual things because he can't stomach the idea of being with you if you have weight issues. You need to figure out is this the type of man you really want? If he is willing to throw you aside even after 2 years for something as simple as weight, what is going to happen when something serious comes up? He will bail. It's better to accept the fact that he is a coward and try to move on with your life. Unless you are fine with how things are, which I assume you aren't since you posted to begin with.
As the saying goes, don't make someone a priority in your life if they only consider you an option.
2007-05-11 16:36:15 · answer #4 · answered by brandonb 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I hope you don't mind me asking, but what exactly is it that you love about this guy? Because he doesn't treat you very well. A relationship should be about give and take from both parties, not give and give on your part. I was once in a relationship just like this, and I realize now that I was settling. I felt that I probably couldn't do any better, so I stayed with him dispite being used and unhappy? You should examine why you love him. Or do you just love being with someone, cuz the way he treats you doesn't sound like reciprocated love. I f he loved you he would be with you no mateer what your weight, he would do things for you too and he would want to spend time with you, not just his best friend. I honestly feel thet you deserve sooooooooo much better that what he gave you. You just have to believe it yourself. Let him go.... he doesn't deserve you sweetie. Best of luck to you.
2007-05-11 17:00:49 · answer #5 · answered by Jennifer 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you are with someone who doesn't treat you the way you know you deserve to be treated, you are suffering from low self-esteem. This can be almost deadly to women. You as a human being deserve someone who openly loves you as much as you love them. Real love is out there, sometimes it is hard to find, but giving up and becoming bitter is just as hard as being in a doomed relationship. There are a lot of things you can do to boost your self esteem, but many of them won't work if you can't let that jerk go. You'd be surprised at how much you'll feel better by just doing that. Remember: He wasn't good enough for YOU!! Hang in there.
2007-05-11 16:39:19 · answer #6 · answered by SloanMercy 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Firstly, I'm so sorry. That is a terrible situation... but the thing you need to realize is... why do you like a guy who doesn't like you? He doesn't want to even spend time with you, so why is that attractive? Life is far too short to spend time with people who don't like you or don't want you around. I don't care how good they look or how great things used to be. You deserve better, period. Tough to hear, and even tougher to follow through on... but trust me whan I say it, there are many other guys out there who will knock down walls for you if you let them, let alone not ignore you.
2007-05-11 16:37:25 · answer #7 · answered by Andrea 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You need to give up, move on, and give love with another man another chance. He's the LOSER who is self absorbed, egotistical, and all around piece of s***!!! He doesn't want to be with you because of your weight but has no problem having sex with you??? What a slimeball dirt-bag!!! Decide RIGHT NOW to not take his crap ANYMORE!! If the apartment is in your name.......KICK HIM TO THE CURB!!! If not and if possible, venture out on your own but whatever you do LOSE HIM!! He is no good and seems to be emotionally abusing you!! Sweety, he doesn't have to lay a hand on you to be abusive!!!
2007-05-11 16:38:40 · answer #8 · answered by Nicki B 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You have taken enough...enough is enough the minute he moved out/broke up with you and then using the excuse of your weight should top off the cake for you.
You don't give up on love...your time to shine will come and you will find the one who loves you just as much as you love them.
be cool...
2007-05-11 16:34:47 · answer #9 · answered by CC Babydoll 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
He DID give you a reason. "He didnt want this (YOU) anymore"
Move on, quit sleeping with him and get a life. He's a tool and he used you for 2 years.
2007-05-11 16:34:54 · answer #10 · answered by Violet Pearl 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋