I am a totally normal and attractive girl but I think I am just too picky. I keep almost lowering my standards and just hooking up with someone to get a confidence boost, but I never do. So I blatantly lie about having serious relationships because people generally assume you must be weird deep down, or socially awkward if you haven’t had any real serious relationships by my age. I am just so fed up and I want the right guy to come along, and even though its not a confidence problem its definitely starting to affect my confidence. More than ever, recently its been getting me depressed and angry, and its almost like I’m getting kind of a negative outlook that ruins my chances with the good guys. I don’t even talk about this with people close to me because I have actually fooled them all into thinking I have been in serious relationships too. I don’t know what answer I could possibly be looking for here, but it feels good to express it.
2007-05-11 08:54:05 · 21 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
I don't think it makes you weird to not have had a serious relationship at your age. However, keep in mind that if you're being "picky" and don't give guys a chance, you won't know when you HAVE met a good guy. Go out on dates, even if you think the guys aren't "your type." Even if it doesn't turn into the world's greatest love story, it'll give you a chance to get to know new people and find out what you do or don't want in a future relationship. And if a date turns out to be a disaster, you've got some good (and TRUE) stories to share with your friends.
What concerns me most is that you say you've lied to even the people close to you about having had a serious relationship. One of the MOST important things in any relationship (dating or platonic) is honesty, and you're getting into a very bad habit of lying to people you love. So you've never kissed anyone - that doesn't make you a social outcast, and the people who love you already KNOW you're great, so they don't need stories of pretend lovers to give them a better opinion of you. If they know you're earnestly looking for a great guy, they might even keep their eyes open for a great catch for you.
But, above all, resist the urge to "hook up" with a random guy. You've held out this long, so you might as well make sure that your first kiss is with someone AMAZING.
Have a great day!
2007-05-11 09:06:56 · answer #1 · answered by greeneyes_bjb 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sweetie you have to date and experience with other people. How are you ever suppose to know the good ones when you never come across the bad ones. And now and days you have to be careful cause they are sneaky then ever!! It's good to be picky a little but not too much because like i said you don't have experience so you could push a good one away. Not saying for you to go crazy but have a little fun do a little wrong, you only live once!!! And also too don't lie about you being in a relationship from now on. Because if he is the right one he'll understand, might be a little shock lol but will understand. And to the other ones if they don't and can't deal with it even though it's not that serious then oh well...NEXT LOL!!! And don't lower your standards especially to gain confidence usually it never works, just make you feel worse. At the same time don't make them so high to where it's impossible to find a man, because no one is perfect. Hope I helped and good luck =)!!!
2007-05-11 09:10:50 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
take a deep breath, and relax... unless you've got a 3rd eye ball poking out your belly botton, and an ear on your right butt cheek... don't worry... The right guy will come around, it just takes time, and the more you try to push it and rush it, you'll either end up with the wrong kinda guy, get played, or just always stay single cause you'll look to despraite.... Let love come it you, and it will when it's ready... Some guys can be pigs, so don't the the first thing that jumps at you..
You shouldn't have lied to anyone about "relationships" nothing nothing to be ashaimed of, but I do get that stress and pressure to play a big role in life... Just be yourself, be free, be wild, have fun, put on some lip gloss, and a smile... I promise love WILL find you. =D
2007-05-11 09:03:05 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your initials are pretty high and mighty. You need to go somewhere where there are more guys who meet your standards who are not already spoken for. Once you are living in that environment then you need to go out on a few dates to see if these men are really the kind you are looking for. What are your standards? Have you tried a dating service to find someone who meets your standards? Have you ask a professional match maker if such individuals do exist today at your age or a few years older who meet your high standards that are still available?
The question, are you too picky is a good one and you may be in fact too picky. Tell me what you are looking for and I will tell you if you are too picky.
2007-05-11 09:18:37 · answer #4 · answered by Toosense2 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Dont freak out. I felt the same way until a few years ago, man, i had the worst 15th year, no girls would talk to me, See, people are too afraid of the outside, and dont want to give the inside a chance. Im not saying im ugly or your ugly, im just saying, they judge the book by the cover, your like a good story but you title sounds funny, so they dont give it a chance. But im sure you have a good personality, You just got to have confidence in your self, You got to make the boys think, wow, go outside with a big smile and see if guys look twice.
2007-05-11 09:09:09 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
you already know the reason why. you said it. you have a low self esteem. work on building up your confidence and girls will come running to you:] don't become cocky jerk though. go to parties with the friends you have. if you see a girl you are into and she seems into you to, ask her to dinner or a movie or something simple like that. be straightforward & flirtacious! when you get a date on want to kiss her, you should probably wait until the end of the night when you are going separate ways. if you hit it off, she's obviously going to give you a cute smile and turn to leave, AND THATS WHEN YOU KISS HER :] all in all, just try to break out of your shell and meet new people. the rest will come naturally. if you need any help just ask me:]
2016-05-20 23:08:24 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Girl, I am 23 and never had a bf!! I had my first kiss at 21 and unfortunately he had to move to Europe :(
I consider myself picky too and I have my standards.. The only guys that approach me are the guys who think they are going to get laid (he is NOT getting any with me!!) I do believe that there is a guy out there, but maybe right now is not the time. God will send you one when the time is appropiate. Sometimes I feel lonely and wish to experience one, but I am patient and know that sooner or later it will happen...just be patient and don't let yourself down!!!
2007-05-11 09:02:22 · answer #7 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why do you have to lie to people? If they ask, just say that you don't want to talk about it. Lying makes you feel worse.
When you say that you are too picky, what does that really mean? Maybe you are rejecting people for superficial reasons, before you actually get a chance to really get to know them. Or maybe you are looking for Mr. Right in all of the wrong places.
2007-05-11 09:01:10 · answer #8 · answered by Randy G 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No worries, plenty of women hook up late in life. Better to wait for the right one than to marry the wrong one.
A family friend didn't get her first kiss until she was 33 and she's happily married to that person to this day (she's now 47).
2007-05-11 08:58:21 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well maybe you should being so picky you should get to know the guys that like you a little bit better and maybe you well get your first kissed
2007-05-11 08:59:28 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋