How can I keep from kicking myself around when I mess up?

Question

I am v.p. of a writer's group. I booked a banquet room at a local restaurant for our conference. Last month, we cancelled the conference and I forgot to cancel the reservations. They were for next Friday night. I called today, and was really apologetic. The owner was upset, of course, because not only did it affect her but also the professional theater troupe who lost a night of performance space. But she was really kind about it. I'm hoping to spread the word to the membership and have 25 to 30 people show up just for a networking, but with such short notice (a week) am not sure if it will happen.) I always seem to do stupid things like this and it is really damaging to my self esteem and my relationships.

Answer 1

First admit you made a mistake. Big deal!!! You obviously are being harder on yourself than others are. You have to ask yourself why that is. Do you deep down don't like your job? Or do you feel as though you are not worthy as person and are afraid that you are certainly going to screw up again, because that's how you are. If you think or feel that at some point you are definitely going to screw up, then guess what? You will. It's a self fufilling prophecy. You may not be aware of it but deep in your brain the thought is there, and you will make a bad decision because of it. Either you need to see a professional, go on medication, or change jobs. If you are "multi tasking" stop it now. I never started a project until I completed the first one. If I started to write a letter, I would not stop until finished. My phone would ring, but I would not answer it. My boss was constantly running around multi tasking and she could not get anything done or on time for that matter. I was determined not to work like that and get all frustrated and make mistakes. So, stay focused, write everything down on a daily "to do list", if someone asks for your help and your too busy, say no and stick to it. One thing for sure not to do, don't go around to your boss or co workers stating that you are a screw up and are constantly making mistakes. Everyone may feel sorry for you for a brief moment but no one likes working around a mope. Lots of luck to you!!

Answer 2

Don't feel too bad about it. The only people who never make mistakes are the people who never do anything.

Granted, from the restaurant's stand point it would have been nice if you had let them know a month ago. However, a week's notice is more than adequate. I would almost bet the room is already reserved, no problem. In fact, the lady at the restaurant probably made herself a few points when she told whoever has the room now how she managed to get it for them.

Just be glad you didn't have x many steak dinners ordered in advance and not think of it until next Friday evening.

Answer 3

Beating yourself up doesn't do you or anyone else any good. This is one of those times you gotta just say "Well, s**t happens!" Try and change your organizational patterns/habit to something that works. I know this because I am exactly like you. I can be forgetful/ spacey (whatever you want to call it) so I have developed habits that over come that tendency.
If you have people go for the 'networking " you still have o pay for it don't you? and for the conference in the future? or is there no future conference? could you pay her for it anyway, weather or not you actually use it or compensate her for the miscommunication. Somehow?

Answer 4

Bless your heart! Don't be so hard on yourself. You sound like a very busy person and you just have to remember you are only an imperfect human. We ALL make mistakes. I'm the Chairman of an engineering firm. I know when I get swamped I tend to make mistakes and/or forget things. With a lot of help from pop-up post-its and my handheld PC with Outlook in full speed (Ha Ha), I am more efficient. And most important - don't lose your sense of humor. We have to learn from our mistakes, but also be able to laugh about them at the same time.

Answer 5

well the best thing would be if you just don't go out at all, except for when you go to school. and only go out when you really have to, and when you do, go out with either your parents or some friends. don't go out alone. and obvious one i know, but don't go out after dark if you can help it. and again, if you have to, it's best to go with one of your parents, or an adult who you can trust, because your friends are still children themselves, so they will be in danger too. i'm not saying that just because you're a children, you're stupid, but because it's more dangerous in the dark than in broad daylight, going out with an adult is more safe. i don't know exactly how old you are, but you could ask your parents to drop you off and pick you up from school too, just to minimise the risk. and perhaps learn some martial arts moves or something so that you can defend yourself if by any chance they come at you and you're alone? you don't have to have a black belt, but if you know the basic moves you're far better off. and have your mobile phone with you at all times (and set your parent's number to speed dial so that you don't have to push all the buttons in a hurry!).

Answer 6

Honey, to err is what makes us human. I wouldn't beat myself up about it.

Maybe if you didn't make the mistake, a member of the troupe let's say would have gone home drunk that night and crashed her car and died. Who knows?

You don't have to be in sync with the universe ... you only have to realise you already are ...

Answer 7

well, kicking yourself isn't too productive, so you need to find a effective way to remind yourself to get all your lose ends pulled together...... email yourself, a rolodex or whatever it takes. Everyone goofs up professionally or personally once in awhile, but if it becomes too common, your credibility could be damaged, so establishing the new routine could be a important step.

Answer 8

just kick yourself and get it over with.face it, you're a goofball.