Did i do the right thing?

Question

I just let my soulmate go!! I know it in my heart were meant for each other..I know it in the way he looks at me,hold me,kisses me ,and even says my name..It was a very bumby road we went through..And while we never made our relationship offical I know he loved me.He never told me but he told other who told me.he said he just couldnt say what he wanted..I chased him for 11 yrs im 24 now.Hes 29...I showed him how i was in love with him i told him in everyway..The past 2 months has been crazy..I found out he slept w/someone else and she's preg. may or may not be his, alot of other stuff happened..and this past week i had a miscarriage with his child ..hes the only one i been with for 3 yrs...After all this I was soo tired of trying to prove i loved him and i thought its best to let him go.hes 3hrs from me and in school and works..how could anything work out! I thought in telling him its time to let go he'd beg me not to leave and tell me he loved me..CONT....

Instead he said he was sorry for everything he caused me and maybe another time another place who knows..then he said i deserved better and then he said goodbye to me....why didnt he fight for me?why didnt he tell me right then not to leave and that he loved me?? my heart is breaking in such a way that i feel like im dieing!! I love that guy sooo much and the first thing i thought was to floor it down there and tell him ..but im tired of chasing..i want him to want me the way i want him and i guess he don't ..did i do the right thing in letting him go?

He did send me flowers this past week but everyone told it was just to make his self not feel so bad about being with the other girl.

Answer 1

wow...that almost made me cry and i am not being sarcastic! i was in that exact situation, except i was the one who couldn't express my feelings and he was chasing me. it went just as badly as yours is going...when we finally went our separate ways i felt terrible (though it was my idea..he wanted to be with me and a lot of other women..guess he was tired of chasing me, even though i was coming around and admitted to loving him). it took me a long time to really let go because i was convinced we were supposed to be together and i still am...though i don't want a man who sleeps around.

now, long story short....you are doing the right thing. chasing after people is not worth the stress, be it a man or a friend. you deserve to be wanted as much as you want them. you should let him go....he needs to get things straight in his head and his heart....(now for the "cheesy" part)..and if you are meant to be, he will come back to you. Just take your time, don't rush into any other relationships...take the time to heal and come to terms with the decision.

i wish you luck......remember...it is for the best

Answer 2

Man do i know the feeling. U give all u have and yet they do nothing. They tell everyone else or when you question them they are like why do i have to tell u, u should already know but u didn't. IT was good for u to let him go cuz u were miserable the whole time and then he slept with someone else. That was the boiling point there. If he really did love u, he would of told u, he wouldn't of slept with that other girl, and he would of fought for u. He didn't. U will be hurting for a long time, especially if u were gonna have a kid with him. He hurt u more and more and maybe he did love u but he screwed up too many times. Take a break from dating right now and just get ur **** together with school and work. U take all the time u need. U'll find someone who will appreciate u. He's there don't worry. Goodluck hun and hang in there

Answer 3

Wow. Sounds like a lot of drama to me. Honestly, I think that you did a really great thing at this point in your life. Although miscarriages are hard, maybe it happened for a reason. Imagine if you ended up having his child. It would have been a lot more mess. And don't just think that he would have stayed with you because you had his kid. Its obvious he already broke that boundary.

As far as the soulmate thing goes....I do not believe in that sort of thing personally. I have a best guy friend who I would say is the mirror image of me. There is no way I would even think about getting romantically involved with him, but enjoy his company greatly when he is around. I believe there are people who each individual gets along with and those that you don't....its that simple. Yes, there are people who you will be more connected to as opposed to others in your life, but loving someone does not mean that they have to love you back. I am in the process of learning that myself, unfortunately. I am just going to wait and hope that things 'grow' with time....but as an optimist, I could be easily let down. Only time will tell.

You did a good thing in your life right now. Enjoy it. I know it hurts, but its not worth the pain involved and honestly, there is someone out there that will love you like you have never been loved before and who will never disrespect you (which it seems like this guy has). You are worth more than that! Go for it Girl!

Answer 4

yes and no. You did the right thing, but you shouldn't phrase it as "letting him go". Instead you should have said, "thrown him out". You shouldn't have to prove anything, let alone that you loved him. Actions speak louder than words, and his actions should have shown you that he was playing you. Don't worry about what could have been or might have been. Be glad that he's out of your life, and now you can move on and find someone who will appreciate you. Remember, that if you started to chase him when you were 13, he was probably your first love. Which would have made him 18. Now think about that for a moment. how many 18 year old people do you know that WANT to hang around with a 13 year old? He played you then and you probably did 200% to show him how much you loved him. Move on, remember him for what he was...your first love...not your best.

Answer 5

You are a chaser, you should continue to chase him. Don't give up, replenish your energy and come back to him. Yes, you were meant for each other and you still are, you are meant to chase him, he is meant to evade you. He is good in his game, evading you, you should be better in your game, chasing him. Don't let him to escape from you so easily, cut his options, block every exit. I'll tell you a story. Several girls were chasing me when I was young. I would evade them, they would give up earlier or later. I had more game than them. Then this one girl showed up on the horizon. She looked pretty safe at first, so I was not alert enough and walked right into the trap. She won't let me go after that, she was relentless. I was trying to escape, but she had more game than me. She upped every bet I made, she had a countermove for each and every of my moves. Finally I got tired of fighting my destiny and gave up. We have been happily married for about 20 years since then, got wonderful children and great time together. I hope, my story will give you an inspiration. Don't give up, be strong, be smart, be relentless and be ready to do whatever it takes. You let him go? - that's fine, give him a bit of time to feel free, enjoy himself, get bored. He'll start to miss you, may be just a little bit, and that's the time for you to come back with the vengeance. Don't let some stupid stuff ("he doesn't love me", "he slept with another girl") to stop you. Think of it as of his moves, as of his attempts to escape you. Show him that he won't get rid of you so easily, convince him that there is no escape for him. That man should be broken like a horse, he won't come along on his own. I know because I was this way myself. Good luck!

Answer 6

Well for one until a test is made to see if that is his baby you cant bite on words about with some other lady is saying until you see the facts if it is his baby the test will show 9.999 it is his baby. Next thing as i would say in any relationship or as i would look at it.. You never will know the person who you are with until you stay with them. be up front be real don't run after him.. write him a little and play you cards right and see what happen until the enjoy your time with you family and friends.

Answer 7

you are very right girl.. let him go.. he never told you he loves you when he had every chance in the first place, and he should have done it long before if really loves you... have you ever asked him before if he loves you? I am sort of this kind of situation now, it's long story anyway.. I was thinking of letting him go but he send me an email once telling me hang on him and to have more patience with him.. so now, I am giving him what he've asked.. which hurts me sometimes.. but anyway, yeah.. let him go girl.. move on.. there's so much more coming.. and also, did you tell him with that miscarriage thing??
I understand.. it's really tiring chasing someone who doesn't seems to care..
move on.. never try to contact him.. soon he will realize that what he did was wrong..

Answer 8

YES! You certainly did the right thing. You're "soul-mate" as you call him, would not treat u like he did. I don't want to sound harsh, but it seems like ur living in a "fantasy land". After 11 years you should not be still trying to prove your love for him. Time heals all wounds, and wounds all heels. I know it will be hard for a while (been there) but you must MUST move on. There is someone out there who will love you and cherish you for who you are and treat you the way you deserve to be treated. Good Luck to you and don't compromise yourself to anyone.

Answer 9

Yes you did do the right thing. He slept with someone else. If he really loved you, he's fight for you and not sleep with anyone else. But he did... I know you weren't officially together but you were- if you know what I'm saying.

I know it's tough, but you need to move on from this man. He might be the father of someone else's child and he needs to take responsibility for him/her. You're right- it is tiring chasing after someone (especially after 11 years) and never feeling like it's reciprocated. I know how it feels. Trust me... move on. Your Mr Right is waiting for you- he's not him.

Answer 10

Yes you did. You absolutley did the right thing. I firmly believe that everything happens for a reason and that if it's meant ot be it will. I can't believe that you waited that long. But good thing that you finally did it. Just stay strong in your decision. Maybe this time apart will make him realize what a moron he is. Maybe you'll see that he's not worth your time? Just remember if he's your "soulmate" it'll be.