If I were to die can my son go to whom I choose if the father is not involved?

Question

My is will be 7years old. His father has only seen him 2 times in his entire life. He lives in WA. I live in FL. He is not invovled at all. He is on probation I think until 2009 do to drugs, doesn't work and lives with his mom. I do not what my son raised by him if anything were to happen to me. Can I just make a will saying I want my son to go to my adopted mom?

I also have a large life insurance policy that goes to my adopted mom for my son care. I also explained to her the it can also be used for legal fees to fight for custody


And just for the record I've tried to get him to be a part of my son's life. The 2nd time he saw him. I took my son to WA to see him Mar'06. He stopped talking to us a week after we came back home. I'm not one of those women who keep the kids from the dads. I just don't want a man like him raising my son

We were never married. So there is no custody agreement. He was never there during the pregnacy or birth. Custody is automactically mine.

He is not on the birth certificate, but court-named father for child support.

Answer 1

Yes, yes, yes. Run to a lawyer and get this taken care of as soon as possible. You never know. Why chance it? A lawyer can set it all up for you. Don't worry about the money. Some how you will find a way to pay for this very important document. Good luck.

Answer 2

You need to sit down with an attorney and make a list of your concerns. And also your assets. The very first thing any attorney will tell you is that you must have a will. So do it - by the time you get done with the attorney, you should have a will drawn up.
I'm concerned that you don't understand the legal side of everything you are asking about - and every single bit of it is legal. No one cares what you may or may not want or who should get what - the only thing anyone is concerned with when there is a death are the legal proceedings of disposing of assets and responsibilities.
A will is not something that is a solution to this problem. A will is something you have whether you have children or not. The only person who doesn't need a will - ever - is a homeless hobo who begs nickels to buy his booze. And the reason he doesn't need a will is that he hasn't got any assets or responsiblities.
A will is more important than your husband's reputation and what you think of him as a parent.
That is all a judge cares about in probate court, too.
The life insurance policy that goes to your adopted mom for the care of your son is a good start but an attorney would warn you that there is nothing to force her to use that money for your son. It's great to trust people, even from the grave, but there are plenty of cases to prove that it is also unwise. There are ways to insure that your son will be taken care of with that money, probably involving the creation of a trust that would be funded by the insurance money. Your adopted mom could be your son's guardian but there should be someone who makes sure the money is spent on your son or for his benefit.
These are important matters. Find a lawyer who specializes in estate planning (that the area that deals with matters like these) and don't believe every lawyer who says they can handle it (just because it was taught in law school). Get good recommendations from people who have dealt with the aftermath of their parents' deaths, for example.
Good luck! I was ignorant of all of this myself until I had kids and then I learned a lot when my mother died.

Answer 3

Several points here.

Point one, even tho he is not the named father on the birth certificate, he has been told he is the father and could potentially challenge paternity. Once determined to be the father with DNA testing - there is no longer a question of his rights as they pertain to your child.

Point 2: Just because he is on probation and uninvolved now, doesn't mean that in the event of your demise he won't sieze the opportunity to become involved - even if only for monetary gain (i.e. social security benefits to minor child of a deceased parent)

Point 3: Until there is a formal relinquishing of his rights - be it voluntary or involuntary - if he chooses to challenge your will's instruction as to who will raise your son - he can and will likely win.

Point 4: Consult with an attorney on your situation. Let that attorney advise you - this should actually be the first step.

Point 5: Even if the man is the worse person on earth, he is - according to your statement - your son's father. That being said, the big picture of the impact of your decision has got to be considered. Your son is 7 now, but as he gets older - he is going to be wondering a lot of things, including where is daddy and why doesn't daddy love him and so on. He has as much right to a father as he does to a mother. As for the questionable character of his father, that wasn't a choice your son made, rather a choice you made.

Point 6: even though your concerns are valid - it's not quite as black and white as one would think when it comes to the best interests of a child.

Answer 4

Court named for child support but not on the birth certificate,something is wrong there is he the father? if not drop the claim against childs support, does it say unk on the birth certificate, unfortunately he was named the father on some legal doc yes? then if you were to die, the legal system would place your child in someones care, they must contact the living parent, his rights are still in tact at that point, even if you leave a will it isnt guaranteed that the father wont get his son, remember blood relatives get the first notification, then the grandparents and so on, your will only lets the court know your intentions and final wishes, it isnt a lock it and seel it type of deal..........him not working doesnt deminish his rights, seek legal council and they'll tell you the same.......

Answer 5

Not exactly, but it might depend on where you live... I talked to a lawyer about this yesterday (my son is autistic, hisSD said he doesn't want to be bothered unless my son is on his deathbed... he owes us $9,500 in childsupport, I have sole costody, he has NO visitation, and a criminal record)... Ok, so the lawyer said that you can name a person in your will to care for your child, but that it is only affective if you die... if anything else happens it doesn't matter. Also, he said that the other "parent" can show up in court and fight it... and maybe win... He said that most courts have issues with cutting blood ties like that... I was told that my best chance for making sure my son can go to whomever I choose is to terminate his parental rights (which I am having MAJOR issues accomplishing)... I would just call a lawyer and ask what the law is where you live... Good luck to you... and me... and everyone else like us out there.

Answer 6

Im not sure, but I can tell you what happenedwhen my niece passed away : She had a 3 year old son, she was never married to the babys father, his name was on the birth certificate, but my niece and her son lived with my mother, (Grandma) her mom (MY sister) until my niece married, but the baby lived with our family and only visited his father occasionally, my niece had a paper noterised that if anything happened to her she the costodial parent wanted her mom to raise the baby, But the day they burried my niece, the father was taking the baby for visitation but refused to return him we had to hire a lawyer and fight in court for the baby, all we were awarded was grandparents visitation of one weekend a month and 1 day during the week, Because his name was on the birth certificate and he was the father. No DNA testing was done, and no one cared that the baby didnt really know these people, this was 9 years ago and the baby is 11 now and he hates living with his dad and step mom he wants to come home and he crys everytime we take him back but No one cares, we talked to childrens services, and lawyers, but hes the father. The child now is threatning to run away from home, that scares us to death but what can we do? nothing if we take him it is kidnapping

Answer 7

You need a will and you need to apoint someone as his guardian and have them in control of the money.

The father does not automatically get your son.

I have a 15 year old daughter and her father has never been in her life, he has no custody, no visitation and a long history with the law. I have checked into this.

Honestly, do you think he would fight for custody? Would he really want to pay thousands of dollars in court and attorney fees?

Answer 8

I believe that you can.
Since he is the biological father, he can still go after your adopted mom for custody, but his lack of involvement and criminal background would work in her favor.

Edit:
Depending on the laws of the State of FL, having his name on the birth certificate, or lack thereof, would not necessarily grant him automatic custody.
You do need to speak to a local attorney about your will and custody matters. If FL automatically grants custody to the father upon your death, a quick custody hearing can take care of that problem.

Good luck.

Answer 9

You need to talk to a lawyer about this and have them help you with the will. Do you have full custody of the son or do you and the father have joint custody? That could make a difference.

Answer 10

Yes, you can but I think let your child choose he is old enough to choos remember trust his disunion give him some insuranc in your will give half to your adopted mom and half to your son try to have an educational plan so yon can ensure he finish his study and have enough money to start her family when the time comes.