i asked my boyfriend why he was with me if he wanted me to change.
2007-05-11 06:39:51 · 14 answers · asked by tuesdaydelightnight 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
he doesnt like how i get jelous.
2007-05-11 06:47:01 · update #1
I don't blame him. Jealousy is a wasted energy, causes problems and shows you have self esteem issues.
2007-05-11 06:48:20 · answer #1 · answered by Luv2RIDE 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He's into control, and changing you is controlling you. Welcome to hell.
Or, he wants you to be a better educated or developed person, in which case he will only support you when you grow, and not criticize you or tell you you gotta change.
And "love" is the darnedest excuse for twisting people's minds that I ever heard. "I love you" so now you gotta do something completely out of the realm of possibility for you -- it's bull ****! He doesn't really love you, it's just a word that describes his urgent need to twist you into something his unconscious mind wants you to be or remembers from his past or some messed up imagination he has, but it's NOT love. It's definitely not respect, and that's what real love is based on. Hold out for that. Be the best person you can be, concentrate on your own personal growth and someday someone will be attracted to you just the (terrific) way you are. And won't that be nice? Good luck.
2007-05-11 13:49:57 · answer #2 · answered by skier_80302 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If he wants you to change, then he must not really love you unconditionally. Or perhaps the change he wants you to make is for what he thinks is the better. Maybe he wants you to stop smoking or whatever. But if he just wants something about your personality to change, then that's an indication that he doesn't "love" you. At least, that's by my definition of love, which entails sacrificing things you personally might want for the good and happiness of your significant other.
2007-05-11 13:45:18 · answer #3 · answered by someguy 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It really depends on what areas he wants you to change(your diet?your dressing?your hairstyle?your bad habits liek bitting your nails?...)
I love my boyfriend very much and there's always somethings(i.e he slouches when he walks) that I want him to amend and its only because if I don't tell him to do so, who will?
If you feel that after "the change", you feel a whole lot better, why not? However, if you feel worse, let ur bf know how you feel. If he insists that you stay with that "change", he's obviously just doing it for his own interest.
2007-05-11 13:48:38 · answer #4 · answered by Destiny Wan 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He jus wants the best for u,and i feel that he knows that u are not now.
yes,u maybe right about ur thinking-that someone who loves u must be able to accept everything u have.
But u ever consider that he loves u, he wants u to change so that u can be even well in any way.Changes are hard to made but if u ever thought of who u are making the changes for?Don't u feel that it's worth ur bit of change for his love and care for u(unless he wants u to change to a villian)?Sometimes,if u really can't accept it,u just got to adapt to it.If u really can't change,i think u just to to ask him to accept who you really are.But are u really what u are for ur loved one?
2007-05-11 13:50:05 · answer #5 · answered by how_wei_keng89 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First off I really can't give a good answer with not knowing how he is trying to change you it it physical,emotional,socially?
The best general answer is you change as the result of the people you are around.
2007-05-11 13:47:48 · answer #6 · answered by Nick B 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm sure that he loves you and that you have many qualities he adores, otherwise, he wouldn't be with you. But there might be some things about you that drive him crazy...in a bad way. I love my b/f and there are things about him I wish he would change. Nobody is perfect. I don't know what he wants you to change about yourself, but I'm sure it's only to better yourself. : )
2007-05-11 13:47:42 · answer #7 · answered by fairiesbreath 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like a control issue. If he doesn't like you the way you are, dump him and find someone who will. Unless he's talking about changing some bad habits like smoking, he needs to let you be yourself.
2007-05-11 13:45:52 · answer #8 · answered by Beckers 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If someone really cares about you, then they might tell you certain things to do that will really help make you a better person. You'll be able to tell if he's saying them out of love or concern, or just saying them to be an ***.
2007-05-11 13:44:28 · answer #9 · answered by ♥KP♥MH♥ 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It depends on what the change is. Are you changing to be a better person? Are you changing your opinions? Are you changing your beliefs?
2007-05-11 13:49:06 · answer #10 · answered by Melissa 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋