My husbands ex wants money?

Question

My husbands ex girlfriend has their child he is 8 and he wants to play football this season. My question is she wants him to pay half of the price. But we pay $50 a week for child support and she has three other kids from three other fathers and is not hurting for money. Her new husband has a great job, they have two vehicles, a brick home and a lot of nice things. Where as my husband and I live in a single wide trailer, have one vehicle, and hardly any money to spare. It is my place to step in and say something. What do you think i should do?

I am the only one with a full time job, and paying all the bills. He has a part time job working at a liquor store. He said it was up to me on what to do.

We get his son every other weekend because of her. All of your answers are any good. Thsnks anyway.

Ok well since all of you want to criticise............ Her husband makes more than the both of us together. How else can he afford a huge house, two brand new vehicles, 5 kids and everything thing else. Are yall really here to give advise, or just to have something to do? Come on now.

Answer 1

im in the same situation as u chic, may be worse u should email me some day, lol , ne way i usualy dont say anything tho i usualy want to, but i let my husband make the mistake , i mean bad decision, and put it in his face later, lol, no realy i agree yall shouldnt have to pay the extra money, does she do enough for the kids with the money she gets or do u wonder where the $ is going.

Answer 2

It really doesn't matter how many other children she has, how much money she/they make, how much money you & your husband make.

What does their custody/child support agreement say about extracurricular activities? That's where the legal answer is, and you can be sure that that doesn't factor in anything besides the child's best interest and both parents making fair contributions towards the child's well-being.

What's the cost to join the team? If it's not extravagant (i.e. he's not being put on some expensive team/organization, when there's a less expensive one there) and if your husband agrees that football would be beneficial to his son's development, then he should chip in & pay his share. If he can't make it all in one payment, maybe mom would be willing to take it in installments.

Answer 3

Well, first of all, I do think your husband should get a real job. If nothing else, what will you two do when you get to retirement age. But the other thing to think about is this. If for some reason the boy lived with you would you be able to afford the football? Probably not. I think your husband needs to explain to the boy's mother that it isn't that he doesn't want to pay for his son to play football, it is because he can't. I know there are a lot of things that my daughter might want to do but we just can't afford it right now.

Answer 4

First of all, you should have known when you married him that he has baggage. If you choose to accept that with him or not, that's your problem.

Second, how do you know they are not tight on money. When you make more, you spend more and that has nothing to do with what you guys are responsible for paying. My ex husband always gives me grief b/c he thinks his little $280 per month that he pays me is all he has to do. That doesn't even cover his babysitting fees for the month! We have 2 cars, and my husband and I both work full time and we do have 2 other children together, but does that mean that my ex husband can dismiss paying for extra things for him? No. If you could only see how much it costs to support a child you would see that $50 a week does NOT go a long way. For me, $280 per month goes towards day care, not cover it. Then I still have to pay for meals, school clothes, hair cuts, fun activities, sports activities (and those are NOT CHEAP, by the way) shoes, underwear, socks, play clothes, a bed for him, a dresser for him, a big enough place so he can have his own room and space. I mean, come on, $50 per week doesn't even begin to cover the expenses that she probably and most likely incur with your husband's child.

So, your husband's ex wife is not out of line or being selfish by asking you to pay for half. That is fair. You can't judge them by what they have, they have worked hard to earn it and it's not your business to decide what they can afford. You don't know their expenses, you don't know their debts.
Is your husband working? I'm not one to judge, but if you are in a trailer with one vehicle you have obviously not done enough to get where you want to be - work hard - go to school - get a good job!

Answer 5

My husbands ex wants money?

Answer 6

More money or not, the child is his also, and he should be expected to pay for half almost everything. However, I do know that times are hard, and sometimes even parents who have their kids full time have to say no because of money issues, so if you can't afford it you can't afford it. If his ex has any heart at all she will understand. She does have every right to ask though, like I said afterall that kids is your husbands also.

Answer 7

I know what you're going through,my husbands ex was like that sometimes.I say if it doesn't bother your husband to pay it then OK,but only half..I mean hes already paying child support shouldn't that pay for it.Don't start a fuss about it ,cause she can get the child support raised ,just for pure spite.Like my husbands ex did. Or just tell her you dont have the money.If shes not vindictive then she be ok with it.

Answer 8

Whatever you make or her new husband wont even be considered in court. only what your husband and his ex make. At least thats the way it is in Minnesotai f you cant afford to pay half of your stepchilds foot ball then simply say, we are sorry but right now we arent in the finacial position to pay this so if you want to get him into football thats fine but youll have to pay for it yourself. you can however buy his/her uniform and go to all of his/her games so that your stepchild knows that hi/her father and you are in full suport of his/her hobbie. I really agree that this is about your husband and the ex wife. Dont overstand your ground or you may come out to look like the bad guy. good luck All you really can do is give advice to your husband.

Answer 9

He shouldn't have left the decision up to you in the first place. That was unfair for him to do and child support and stuff should be left mainly up to them because they are the parents. You can be there to support your husband's decisions but the main decisions should come from the parents. Half sounds fair in all honesty. I would tell your husband that he needs to be the one to tell her yes or no and just let it be. It's not really your place to say how much money their child gets even if it bugs you and you know she doesn't need it. Don't let him let you be the bad guy.

Answer 10

I think it's a decision your husband needs to make. I think it's something you should discuss together. If you really can't spare the cost, then he (your husband) should explain that to the ex. However, it is his child too and if his kid wants to play then I feel like your hubby should share the extra cost.

Answer 11

First of all, as a mother that gets very little money for child support, $200 does not feed, clothe, clean any child. If HIS son wants to play football then by all means he should pay for half of it. My husband has 3 children by his ex, and he pays child support every week, in addition to we pay for any extras that his children want. Like cheerleading, dance lessons and his son is in soccer. We do this because we love them. Money is tight for us as well, but being a parent means you have to sacrifice the extras so your kids can have them. Sounds to me that you resent his ex for making it in the world. He husband is not the father and he should not have to support the child. I am sure he does spend much more on this boy than his biological father does. Grow up and let your husband be a man and take care of his child in all ways.

By the way, $200 a month would not even cover the 1/3 of the utilities and food that his son uses. Not to mention at his age he is growing like a weed and needs to have clothing that fits him. When you married this man you had to of known that he had a child and his child is his #1 responsibility.


I just read sum stuff you added to your question that enraged me.
You have him on weekends because of her? Ho wabout because you married a man that already has children. You disgust me. I don't know what your vows were but mine were for better or worse, richer and in poorer etc. You knew what you were getting into. He should pay and that is the end of it.
You need to stop being selfish, he is irresponsible for saying it is up to you. Think of his son and not the mother. If his son wants to play why should he be punished because his fathers wife has an issue with his mother and her new life?
Also, it seems to me like you do not want anyones advise, all you want is to have someone justify your selfishness. Do yourself a favor, you have the internet, google and find out what average monthly expenses are for raising a child. Odds are you two do not give enough. Stop being jouvenille. It's not alot of money anyway, have your husband collect cans before he goes to his part time job, before long he'll have the $ for his son.

Just another thought, get rid of your internet and that will save a decent amount of money, thus you can now afford to pay for it