I'm feeling so left out and bad about not getting a baby shower?

Question

I'm 23 and It's my first child and alway thaught that when you have a baby you have at least one baby shower. I know mostly family and friends throw stuff like this for you but I don't have to many friends becase I'm not from this area and all my family is down South. It's not like I have a mom or dad that would do this for me becuse they both passed away when I was 3, the family that I do have that rasied me did just that raise me and since 16 I'v been on my own and up north with one of my sisters in the area close where I leave. And as for my boyfriend I try to drop hints to him that this is his baby as much as mine and his family can do something but all he say is baby showers are a womens thing and I don't have nothing to do with that. I don't want to come out and just put it out there up front becase I've alway been the type not to what others to think I'm needy or begging for anything when it comes to myself. I don't know maybe I'm feeling this way because I pregnant and harmonal

I live in Northren Va and my family is in Florida

I'm in my 33 week

Answer 1

Oh, honey- my heart just goes out to you and if I was over there, I'd throw you a shower myself!!!! It's perfectly normal for you to want a baby shower, and to feel sad that you're not getting one. It would be the same to me as not getting a bachelorette party before my wedding- like, this wonderful life event is happening to you, and nobody can take 2 damn hours out of their lives and celebrate it in a big way with you. Here's what I would do- just kind of offhandedly mention to your sister or maybe co-workers (if you're working) that you're thinking about doing a baby registry at a local store. This might prompt them to go, "Oh, we'll do a shower so everyone can bring a gift there!" I have another question for you- how far along are you? If you're still only 6 or 7 months, there's still plenty of time for people to throw a shower. Maybe someone is planning a surprise one for you. If you do register anywhere, please e-mail me at [e-mail], so I can pick something out for you and that sweet baby. Best of luck to you!!!!

Answer 2

Don't feel bad YET! I was concerned that I would not have a baby shower this time around and was just gonna throw something myself once the baby came. But my friends from my job threw me a surprise baby shower. Although no one has said anything to you about it, doesn't mean that one is not in the works. They may be trying to surprise you with one. Unless you are due tomorrow, don't worry yourself about it. I'm sure someone is gonna come through for you. If you don't get a baby shower, then have a party for when the baby comes home. The best of luck to you, and I really think that you'll have a baby shower, I just think they are being sneaky about it.....lol

Answer 3

i am from the UK and moved to the USA at the end of January. In the UK baby showers don't really happen. Infact no one (well maybe 10% of people - and only because people heard that they happen in America) would really know what to do for one. But I'm just saying this to explain that different people do things differently - in the UK people would bring gifts or send them once the baby is born instead of at a party. I am 9 weeks pregnant myself so i'm wondering if I might/should have one here? Anyway, I think that you should speak again with your boyfriend and maybe try and speak with a female relative of his - maybe a sister or a cousin or his mum or aunt? Instead of coming out and saying "I want a baby shower" you could get round it by asking for their help in picking out a few things for the baby saying that you think it would be nice if someone from your boyfriends side of the family put in some female input into choosing stuff. That might get them thinking of the whole baby shower thing? I hope it works out for you. Good luck.

Answer 4

In my culture, everyone expected me to throw my own shower! So yanno what? I did! I had a BBQ and invited all of my friends and my fiance invited all of his friends. It wasn't looked down upon since this is our culture, but you and your boyfriend could do something similar. Just tell him that you'd like a BBQ where friends and family can attend (you decide how big or small you want it) and tell them that you'd like to "celebrate before the baby arrives because I still have a lot of shopping to do for baby stuff."Most people, unless they're really stupid, should take the hint and buy things for the baby. I'm a bit upset that his family didn't suggest a shower for you (and I'm hormonal too!) but since they didn't it's best not to stress about it. Just hope that his family will become more involved with you and the baby when he/she arrives. I wish you the best of luck and I really hope you have your shower!

Answer 5

Your not begging, and this is not for you. This is for your child, and if you should fight for anything... it needs to be your kid. Tell your boyfriend to get his head out of is a**, and do right by his child, be a man, be a DAD. As for his family, the best of luck there. In laws can be something else. They should do it, this is their grandchild....unfortunately some in laws could care less. If you want one for you child, then have one. And if anyone says anything.... Tell them it is the least they could do for their son/daughter/grandchild. And how welcomed that made you and the new baby feel knowing every cared so much. (Sarcasm) If you take these people treating you like this now, they will just continue and continue. And it will break you eventually.

Answer 6

I didnt have a baby shower for my first child and I was in the same thing you are, My family is all in new hampshire and I am in texas. My husbands family did nothing for me. I wouldnt stress about it, just make sure your baby has the essentials and if they say anything about you getting everything just simply say well I didnt think i was going to get a shower. That is what I did and yes I am bitter about it but there are more things in this life than being mad that you didnt get a baby shower. Its seeing your baby for the first time :) if you want to talk or vent just email me :)

Answer 7

that is unhappy to assert yet men will circulate alongside with regardless of woman they're with on the time. that doesn't make what your father is doing top. He must be performing otherwise and he's who you ought to be mad at. As for the dance recital why did not your sister in regulation substitute the day or a minimum of the time? I had no kin at my bathe and became given merely a fragment of the presents my cousins gained because of the fact my father's area of the relatives did not approve of my youngster's father. i've got by no skill felt a similar approximately them back and my daughter is 7. She is my relatives now. possibly you ought to merely comprehend that that is their loss and circulate on including your new relatives. Get it off your chest if it makes you sense extra advantageous yet I doubt it is going to completely substitute something.

Answer 8

Throw your own - who cares? More than likely, your bf family will show up if invited. So, they may talk, but not to your face. And if you have 1 freind in the area, ask if they will help you host the event, and you'll pick up the tab. To be honest, I held my own shower - because I'm anal and made more money than most of my family & friends. I held it at my friend's house, where she facilitated the games and helped decorate, etc.
I don't think you're being greedy, I think you just want the total experience. Good luck!

Answer 9

Don't feel bad about wanting a baby shower! It is completely natural to want one! Mention to one of the woman friends you have about maybe having a party to celebrate your pregnancy! They may get the "hint" and throw you a baby shower!

Answer 10

I know plenty of people who throw their own showers. You could sit and talk w/ your bfs family and say you are going to throw yourself a shower and you would love it if they would help you plan and execute the shower. I am sure they would be much obliged to help you. If you are to shy to ask them tell you bf to bring it up w/ them and have him tell them that he would appreciate it if they would throw you a shower to help lift your spirits or just so you can have a nice day w/ the family!!!