Please guide me?

Question

I have a 21/2 year old daughter. From her birth until now me and my husband has taken care of her everything. My mom and dad and my husband's mom and Dad doesnot show interest in my daughter because they all wanted a boy. But me and my husband love her very much. My mom has never taught me or guided me on how to take care of a young child or how to cook or any other household works. I am doing a job and so is mu husband. My daughter stays in the day care center. Because of lack of support and experience and guide i feel depressed how to keep me small family healthy and happy. I find recipes from internet and try to cook it my husband feels for me and eats whatever i cook no matter whats the taste but... but my daughter i am not giving enough time on her. When i m frustrated i sometimes slap her or put her in her bed and close the door. She screams and crys tometimes i feel very ad but i dont have anyone else to hold her/look after her.i feel very guilty.my child will hate me

Answer 1

First of all, you should really look at your finances and see if it is really necessary for both of you to work. By the time, you add up the cost of daycare, work clothes, and extra money spent on lunches that second job may not really be adding that much to your income.

I know it sounds crazy to suggest becoming a stay-at-home mom and spending more time with your child, but hear me out. You are probably completely stressed out because you are working a job and probably doing the majority of housework and childcare as well. By becoming a stay-at-home mom, you are essentially cutting down from three jobs to two.

Secondly, you are probably missing the best part of your child's day. The day care gets the best of her. You get her when she is tired and cranky after a long day of playing and possible over-stimulation. On top of that, she is getting you at your worst time of day when you are tired and stressed about all the things you have to do.

Like other people suggested try to go to the park or other places to meet other parents with toddlers. You could try a mommy and me class once a week. Try to limit it to one class a week for now, because you already seem overwhelmed with everything on your plate. Also try setting up15 to 30 minutes at night to sit down and read or play with your daughter.

I sympathize with you. My husband and I moved out of state when our daughter was nine-months old. We also sold our second vehicle so I could continue to stay at home. At times, I have felt very isolated. Luckily, my mother-in-law moved to our new state a year later and that helped some, but we still had no friends. That was almost four years ago. I recently joined a homeschool group and been able to start making friends for me and my daughter.

I also have very few cooking skills, and I don't particularly enjoy housework, either. I know that you feel a lot of pressure to try to be perfect. Every mother does. And no matter what you do you always have this nagging feeling that you haven't done enough or done it right. Just do your best and don't panic if every meal isn't as nutritious as it could be or the house isn't spotless. Read parenting books if you get the chance. You probably don't want to parent like your parents or in-laws do anyway, so their advice is not needed.

Try to stay calm with your daughter, and if you can't, put yourself in time-out in the bathroom with the door locked until you can. Set her up with videos if you need to, and Don't Feel Guilty About it. It's better for her to watch too much television than have you punishing her because you're stressed out and she's just being a kid. You could also see if your husband could take her out of the house a few times a week, so you can take a nap or relax somehow (no chores allowed!).

Answer 2

first realx.. you are doing fine as a mother and dont let anyone else tell you diffrently. Dont worry about your parents that is just plain bs imo. Its all in how you and your husband feel. YOU are doing great learning how to cook and being a working mom is hard but you just need to spend time with her when you can, at 2 1/2 they are going to cry my daughter is 3 and she still does that and I still feel guilty when i drop her off cuz i have to work.
The best thing I have found that when I am about to loose my patients I count to ten or I remove myself from the stituation for a few minutes regroup and then try and deal with it if it gets real bad have your husband step in. Hold her and love her as much as you can and know you are doing the best you can with what you have. I would also look into finding a support group for mothers you can email me and vent :)

Answer 3

This may sound odd, but it sounds like you could maybe use TV, like supernanny or nanny911 to get parenting advice. Besides the slapping part, doesnt sound like you guys are doing all that bad. It sounds like you are craving though some adult guidance on becoming a good parent, and also some positive feedback if you are. Id also look into community groups where you can meet with other parents. A lot of times counties, churches, even hospitals will have them listed or know how to get involved. Especially at 2 1/2 you can also meet other parents at the park. It really helps to talk and find out that others are going thru the same thing. (much like you're doing here)

Answer 4

First of all, I don't recommend slapping a 2 1/2 year old child at all. And placing a child that age in her bed for punishment will just make her associate bed with punishment rather than a safe place to sleep. For additional support, try to find other moms in your neighborhood that you can swap babysitting with, or join a Mom's group if you have one in your area. Good activities to do with your 2 1/2 year old are to read to her, color with her, play games that she likes, sing to her, take her outside for a walk and show her the beauty of nature, or just sit and snuggle with her while watching one of her favorite TV shows. If you feel like you're going to lose your temper, gently put your daughter in a safe place to play, like her room, and go into another room for a minute to cry, scream into a pillow, or just calm down. Motherhood is difficult but also the most joyful, rewarding job you'll ever have.

Answer 5

Well Im also a working mother. I cook bigger meals on my days off but on days that I work, I find it better to cook simple meals. spagetti is pretty simple, camples homestyle bakes are quick and pretty good too. This might give you more time to spend focusing on your daughter. she will grow super fast so enjoy her now. If you get frusterated with what your daughter might be getting into then move her to a safe place then go calm down for a few min before you get the urge to hit her. Its hard when there are too many things going on at one time but it really helps just to give yourself a time out before you do something you regrett. the more you cook the better youll get at it. your hubbie understands so I really dont think its a huge issue, just keep practising WHEN YOU CAN.
If you put too much on your plate then youll have an overspill.

Answer 6

if you have her in child care then that should be your break. i also dont have support but only because we are a military family and away from our family and even my husband is always at work. so i take care of my 5yr old and 2 yr old all day everyday alone. you need to learn some patience. every parent looses their control but locking her up in her room is wrong. and if you have to slap her sit down with her a few minutes later and explain what happened and what she did wrong but always reassure her that you love her.

Answer 7

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