Groom's mom to wear black?

Question

I am getting married this summer at an outdoor ceremony. We want a very summery feel. The colors are cream and sage green and the groom and groomsmen are wearing tan suits rather than tuxes to keep it very summery and light. My future mother-in-law told me that she bought a black dress for the ceremony... is this appropriate. I know that sometimes black is okay, but I just don't want it to look like she's going to a funeral while everyone else is in light, summery colors.

Answer 1

We did the summer them with shades of red/pink a splash of purple and white. My mom wore a black pants suit BUT the top was a tank cut top with some irridescent gems at the top. She dressed up her shoes and earrings that picked up the light. She looked great! Most people were in a floral print or bright colors. Check out her dress see if there is anything that could be added (shoes, jewelry, shaw) that will give it more of a summer feel. Also suggest since its out doors it might be a little warm to wear black but if she insists dont worry about it you will be the focus of the day!

Answer 2

If thats what she's comfortable in then I say let her wear whatever she wants. Do you and she have a good relationship? Do you think she does view it is 'mourning the loss of her son' as said above? I would hope she would see it as gaining a daughter rather than losing a son.

If you have a good relationship and are comfortable talking to her, next time you visit I would say 'so show me your dress you got for the wedding!" and if she says something along the lines of "thanks, do you think its ok?" or anything like that just make the comment of "of course, you look great, you may be a little hot in a black dress since its in (month), I need to head out to mall to look for (something you may need for the wedding) would you like to come and see if we can find some other options?"
Thats what I would do...but my (future) mother in law and I go shopping all the time, I would judge by her actions and her attitude towards the wedding.

Like I said, if she's is happy and comfortable wearing black, then just let her! Congrats on the wedding! Im sure it will be beautiful (we are using sage green as well-its such a pretty color)

EDIT: my mom is getting remarried this summer and I found a black and white dress that I will be wearing, its in the summer and I would have liked to have found something bright, but I fell in love with this dress and am comfortable in it, it has nothing to do with my mom, step dad or the wedding. That may also be the case with her! good luck!

Answer 3

So MIL wants to wear a Little Black dress eh?

Well, look at it on her. I mean if it makes her look like Queen Victoria, then I'd suggest she make a more seasonal choice. One that makes her look more like the vibrant, young-thinking woman she really is.

If it's WAY too sexy and makes her look like a used-up tart on the make, perhaps you could suggest a pastel jacket - again so she doesn't look like Vampira at high noon.

If it's a nice dress then make sure she wears a beautiful summery corsage, maybe a pastel belt and a big pastel flower on her hat. Often accessories can brighten a dress more than the dress color itself.

But why is she wearing black? Ask her. Is she against your marrying her son? Is there some reason why she wants to look like she's in mourning - like her husband or relative etc. just die?

Best find out now before you go through years of "I have never felt you were good enough for my Percival."

Answer 4

If you future mother-in-law is a bit on the heavy side I can certainly see why she might want to wear black. If she is thin, a sage dress would look beautiful. If she can't find a dress that color perhaps you can offer to help her. On the other hand, what can be done is to drape a long flowy scarf in sage or sage/cream/black around her neck with the long ends of the scarf draping over her shoulders and down her back. This will incorporate your color scheme and she can still wear her black dress. Perhaps the black can be incorporated in your color scheme as an accent. For example, fabric hair flowers/ribbons can be worn in the colors of cream, sage & black as an accent. But, again, if she is thin, mothers can wear sage (I didn't mention cream since this color doesn't look good on everyone...it may wash out some people if they are very pale). I hope this helped. Good luck on your wedding!

Answer 5

Despite what some people have written to you, if she has chosen black, there might be a reason. Perhaps she doesn't feel comfortable in a light summery color (for me, I am not a light colored person and cannot see myself in those colors). If she is choosing to wear it because she doesn't like you, then I think you would know that deep down.

Are you giving her a corsage to wear? If so, it will stand out against the black.

Just keep in mind that not all colors are for everyone and sometimes we prefer darker colors. If it really bothers you that much, you should try to sit down and talk to her.

Answer 6

Etiquette has no particular policies for what the mum of the groom wears. And until eventually you're certainly a bridesmatron, the bride would not have something to declare approximately it the two. although, custom is against black at weddings, so if the bride prefers to work out you another shade, i might take her advice. besides, you notice black dresses everywhere each and every of the time now. i'm waiting for something distinctive.

Answer 7

I just attended a wedding last week. The weather was quite warm...near 80 degrees. Most of the guests, especially the women, wore black ! Black is an elegant color for all occasions. Your future mother in law is a grown woman and has, I'm sure, attended many formal events in her lifetime. So I'm also sure she knows what is appropriate. Give her a break. Why are you nit-picking on such a trivial thing. Seems like you just don't like your M-I-L and just want a reason to pick on her.

You know what? People are not going to remember who was wearing what on your wedding day. They will most likely only remember the bride and groom. The wedding I went to last week........I couldn't even tell you what the bride's mom and groom's mom was wearing. Why not? Because it didn't strike me as being that important.

Good luck in your upcoming marriage. And try to chill out. Its only going to stress you out and I'm sure you have enough things to worry about.

Answer 8

I am sure that many people will have on dark colors since most suits are BLACK and most woman have a little BLACK dress. So it will not matter. You should have said something to her months ago about your summery feel

Answer 9

It may not look the best at your summer wedding, but you know what would look worse? Telling your mother in law what she can and cannot wear at your wedding. Remember, you will be dealing with this lady for the rest of your life, so you really need to pick your battles from now on. Do you really want to start a bad relationship over a dress? Think about it.

Answer 10

Not really too big of a deal. No one will really notice. Possibly she feels slim or attractive in black, and she'll be getting some attention as well and may want to feel good about herself.

Don't worry too much about it. Some people just aren't thinking about it. She's the one who will regret it later, when she's hot as heck from being outside in the summer wearing black.

Best of luck.