What should I do????HELP!!!?

Question

My fiance, well i dont know what he is now, is always getting mad about such little things. For example, I didn't send him any text messages because I was swamped at school. He often complains about the same things I used to complain about when we first started dating: Not spending enough time together, not telling eachother everything. I got used to the fact that I wouldnt see him as much as I wanted to, but now he is complaining about it, when he even said it himself when I was complaining we are both busy people. It just really irritates me becuase he gets mad about there stupid little things and just goes off on my, putting me down and calling me names. I love him to death and I want to spend the rest of my life with him. I know he won't change. I just want to be able to do the things I want without him getting mad because I forgot to send him a text message. I know he is busy all the time at work and I send him a message when ever I can. Help what should I do?

Answer 1

Face the fact that he is controlling person who will make your life miserable if you "spend the rest of your life" with him. Anyone who exhibits this kind of behavior now will only get worse if you are married. What you are describing is psychological abuse. If you "know he won't change", why would you want to subject yourself to an abusive relationship? What you should do is seek professional counseling for yourself because if you continue to subject yourself to this, that is self-abuse. "Loving him to death" may be exactly what you are doing.

Answer 2

I Think hes feeling insecure and you need to tell him first that you love him and that you only love him, and explain to him that just because you get caught up doing things sometimes does not mean you are ignoring him you just need to have a bit of your individuality to and that just because you are gonna get married does not mean that you are going to be able to tell him your every move every moment of the day. You can talk at lunch hour and when the two of you come home from work, each day. That is the way life is.
Now with the the calling names issue I would talk to him about how that makes you feel and tell him that does not make you feel very good about the relatioship. Cause you are not married yet. i would also matbe seek marriage counceling before you get married and see if he is willing to make a few changes and maybe you will find out something about yourself that you need to work on to. It couldn't hurt to try to start a marriage off with a good start, and know each others deepest heart felt feeling to better understand one another.

Answer 3

You should dump him. You should not be in a relationship with someone who calls you names. That is hate speech and unacceptable. He is trying to control you and hurt you. Why would you want that for the rest of your life? If you are not ready to leave him over this, then tell him that you will not accept that behavior anymore. If he acts that way leave the situation. Stay away from him till he apologizes. He is acting like a child and should be treated as such.

Answer 4

all couples go through this, its natural. especially because you are getting married(maybe?) expect little fights, but tell him, you always have time for him, you have just been busy, try compromising, send a text message with "thinking of you" or "i love you" at random times during the day, walking from one class to the next, bathroom breaks, whenever, just to make him feel like you are thinking about him. Make some time during the busy week to sit down together and just enjoy eachothers company.

Answer 5

-Keep saved and pre-typed messages on your phone for a quick way of sending him a text.
-Sit and arrange with him a little schedule on a weekly basis as to what times you each are free and plan to see each other then and do something special
-Talk to him about how much his whining frustrates you and tell him to keep his sight on the bigger picture-that is a fully fuctional and healthy relationship with someone he loves.

Relationships is a lot of sacrifice and compromise but communication is the glue that holds it together. Start communicating better and things will improve.

Answer 6

I know you may love him, but do you really want to live with THIS for the rest of your life? We cannot change anyone. A person decides what he/she does.

He won't stop acting this way until he decides to (if ever).

I'm NOT telling you to leave him or anything, just want you to really be aware that we can only EXPECT a person to behave the way they have shown us they behave until now; we cannot expect them to be the way we WANT them to be.

He may be insecure. If you're about to marry someone, the both of you need to be secure in the relationship and not be jealous.

Good luck. :-)

Answer 7

Yeah, he sounds like a real sweetheart. Tell him to quit acting like a 15 year old and realize that there is more to life then spending every waking minute with your significant other. Nothing kills the fun in a relationship faster.

Answer 8

Take a careful re-evaluation of your situation. If he's like this now, what's he going to be like at 2am when the baby is squalling away?
There's a lot of fish in the sea; no need to be stuck with a flounder.

Answer 9

first of all, if he truly loved you, he wouldnt put you down or call you names, even when he is mad. my suggestion is to work it out before you get married. be sure before you jump into a serious commitment! things like that tend to escalate! once yall are married, it may get worse!

Answer 10

its just need a simple remedy and he doesn't feel secure in this relationship. perhaps you need to ask yourself what makes him think so. its better for you to sit down with him, to discuss this issue with an open mind, telling him you love him and wish to spend your life with him, and you are willing to address his concern. it will be a tremendous pity to lose him just to get mad and worsen the relationship. will pray for u guys.