An elderly couple are sat in pub celebrating their 50th wedding anniversary. The man leans over and whispers in the woman's ear,
'Remember the first time we made love all those years ago? It was on the fence behind this very pub...shall we do it once more?'
The woman giggles and agrees, so they finish their drinks and head off to the old fence at the back of pub. A drunk at the bar overhears them and follows them, hiding behind a tree to watch as they hurriedly undress and begin to make love against the fence.
Suddenly they burst in to action with the vigour of teenagers, having wild, frenzied sex that would put a hardcore porn film to shame. After a minute or so they finish, and the woman collapses in an exhausted heap. The man staggers back, breathing hard, and hitches up his trousers.
The drunk emerges as the old man mops his brow and says,
'I couldn't help overhearing your conversation and came out to watch- how on earth do you manage sex that wild when you're so old?'
2007-05-11 01:38:06 · 23 answers · asked by Nelson 1 in Entertainment & Music ➔ Jokes & Riddles
Still panting, the old man turns to him and says,
'Fifty years ago that fence wasn't electrified'.
2007-05-11 01:38:40 · update #1
nice one, like it.
2007-05-11 01:40:39 · answer #1 · answered by winston s 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hilarious!! one of my favorites!!
After a long illness, a woman died and arrived at the Gates of Heaven. While she was waiting for Saint Peter to greet her, she peeked through the Gates. She saw a beautiful banquet table. Sitting all around were her parents and all the other people she had loved and who had died before her. They saw her and began calling greetings to her-"Hello" "How are you! We've been waiting for you!" "Good to see you".
When Saint Peter came by, the woman said to him "This is such a wonderful place! How do I get in?" "You have to spell a word", Saint Peter told her. "Which word?" the woman asked. "Love." The woman correctly spelled "Love" and Saint Peter welcomed her into Heaven.
About six months later, Saint Peter came to the woman and asked her to watch the Gates of Heaven for him that day. While the woman was guarding the Gates of Heaven, her husband arrived. "I'm surprised to see you", the woman said. "How have you been?" "Oh, I've been doing pretty well since you died," her husband told her.
"I married the beautiful young nurse who took care of you while you were ill. And then I won the lottery. I sold the little house you and I lived in and bought a big mansion. And my wife and I traveled all around the world. We were on vacation and I went water skiing today. I fell, the ski hit my head, and here I am. How do I get in?"
"You have to spell a word", the woman told him. "Which word?", her husband asked.
"Czechoslovakia."
2007-05-11 01:43:35 · answer #2 · answered by Chris R 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The best I've heard for a long time. 12/10
Has anybody got an electric fence I could borrow xxx
2007-05-11 01:46:21 · answer #3 · answered by mistymiss 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It's funny.
Do you know what the noisiest thing in the world is ?
Two skeletonsfucking on a tin roof during a hail storm.
2007-05-11 01:46:37 · answer #4 · answered by Kenneth L 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Great one - will tell in boozer over the weekend
2007-05-11 02:07:22 · answer #5 · answered by alec3720 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Nice one I love it haha
2007-05-11 03:12:10 · answer #6 · answered by Christina K 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Seen that old'un twice b4 on this page !
2007-05-11 02:34:52 · answer #7 · answered by Joe Ninety 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Good one! Very funny!
2007-05-11 01:41:47 · answer #8 · answered by Jairee 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
electric fences make everything much more fun.... lol
2007-05-11 02:11:14 · answer #9 · answered by Smile-for-me :) 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That's cute.
2007-05-11 01:48:58 · answer #10 · answered by Me~Me 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
haha!! Very good! Wasn't expecting that ending!! :-D
2007-05-11 01:41:30 · answer #11 · answered by Cat burgler 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋