My mom keeps invading my privacy?

Question

It's really frustrating.
I'm 16 years old and she he keeps reading my diary and my texts on my phone. She even reads my e-mails on the computer if I leave the room to get something.
I know some people are gonna say "She's your mother, she's worried about you" but I really don't like her doing this. I'm the type of person who keeps things to myself and don't get other people wrapped up in my problems... I don't like her reading my diary because I feel really powerless and intruded because all of my deepest thoughts and feelings are in there. (I've stopped writing in it now because of this).
She uses the things she's read against me too and she tells my siblings about it too.
I really don't know what I'm supposed to do anymore.
Any ideas?

Answer 1

Honestly I'm 17 and i have the same problem, or had the same problem. all you can try and do is speak with your mother and tell her how much it is effecting you that she intrudes on your privacy constantly. let her know that writing in your diary is a way you vent and what not and its healthy and now that she is always looking through it you cant and its unfair. Also let her know its frustrating enough with her going through your belongings, but to spread it to your brothers and sisters is also frustrating and your fed up. Obviously your mother doesn't trust you so let her know that it isn't fair not to trust you for no good reason. And if the "talk" isn't successful then just be very very good at hiding things, delete all text and emails. write in a journal you leave at school or a friends. And in two years you will be 18 and not a minor anymore, so you can have all you privacy.

Answer 2

You have no privacy.You must remember as a parent myself.I think she is going overboard.I can see maybe checking the e-mails and texts once in a while,but never your diary.I have a daughter myself and would not push it that far.
It obvious she doesnt trust you.Do you know why she doesnt?Have you done things to lose the trust?That is where I would start.
Like I tell my daughter.You have no rights to privacy when it concerns your well-being.I have all her passwords for her e-mail myspace.I monitor,but stay out of her business as long as everything is cool.And I would never share it with anyone.That is private for her.And is very disrespectful to share her private thoughts.
The diary is going to far.All others not unless you pay for your phone and internet.
I would talk to your mom and find out why she dont trust you.Dont let her tell you she does either.That would be an insult to you.Try to be calm and not point fingers or get mad.Tell her you dont like it when she spys on you.And if she insists.Tell her fine,but she has no right sharing any of this information with anyone.Other than that.Just make sure you log off of your e-mail and erase any texts you get when you get them.
Keep your diary in a well hidden space.

Answer 3

What I can suggest is maybe ask her why she is doing this? Or, here is an idea, write in your diary about how annoying it is and how you don't understand why she is doing it, try not to be nasty, but try your best to pull the whole "curious heartbroken teenager" routine. If you write about her in your diary and she reads it, then you are indirectly telling her exactly how you feel and she can't blaim you for writing about it.
As for the emails, you can always set a password for your computer (set one bios so you can't even get to the windows login screen without entering a password) - just make sure one of your trusted friends knows the password in case something happens to you and access is needed to your computer. I always tell my boyfriend the password and if we break up then I just change it.
Your mobile phone could be a little bit of an issue - just try to keep it on you at all times.

Answer 4

Well, you know that she is still your mom and she really cares about you and is curious of what is happening in your life. Maybe, you need to be a little more open to your mom, tell her about what is going in school, etc.. Your mom is always there for you, so, if you need someone to talk to or need advice, you could come to your mom. But, you could also tell your mom, politely, that you do not want anybody to just invade your privacy and to look at your diary, tell her how you feel when she invades your privacy, she'll understand (And besides, I bet your mom wouldn't want to you snooping into her stuff! Tell her your point of view..) . Everyone needs their privacy once in a while, especially when you are growing up.

Don't worry, things will get better. :)

Answer 5

Put a lock on your computer( a password) so whenever you walk away from the computer she cant get into it without that password. Same goes for the phone. Short of locking your diary too I dont know what to tell you about that. Have you tried telling her that such things are crossing the line of privacy and personal space? I would definitely protest to her using your personal thoughts and feelings against me, as well as telling your siblings what you wrote. Theres a line between protecting your child and privacy and it sounds like she is crossing that line.

Answer 6

At 14, you allowed merely a lot privateness. it quite is a dad and mom accountability to appreciate what their youngsters are as much as. it quite is an age the place, regrettably, too many youngsters commence experimenting with issues they hear approximately from their friends. the main valid excuse for checking up on issues is going to be your habit. those are the 1st alerts of a issue. the variety you act is going to make certain how a lot your dad and mom are going to probe. i'm going to continuously bear in mind, as a teenager, while my dad and mom got here into the room as quickly as finding like somebody had merely died. they had a band-help tin that has some white powder wrapped in plastic. It took me a on a similar time as once I unexpectedly remembered it became baking soda and the tin became a usual help equipment I had prepare while i became a lot youthful. I had no thought it became nonetheless around or the place they discovered it. I proved it to them and clearly the temper replaced rapidly. element is, they are going to verify and that's their top to verify. opposite to usual theory, youngsters decrease than 18 don't have a similar rights or expectancies of privateness. That comes once you're legally a hundred% to blame on your guy or woman movements.

Answer 7

I will say that she probably is concerned about your well-being but she should respect your privacy, as well. Unless you are acting very suspicious about things, your diary should be a place to put all your feelings without fear of exposure. Have you tried sitting down and very rationally explain to your mother how upsetting it is to have your privacy invaded? Maybe you could work on a compromise....Allow her access to some parts of your life while she stays away from others. There is a very fine line between being concerned about what your child is doing and just plain being nosey.

Answer 8

First thing that comes to mind your not an adult yet. Ask her for some space. If she doesnt give it to you find another way of reading your e-mails with something password protected. Being an adult isnt what its cracked up to be. Youll be there soon enough. Its along road, a journey of sorts. And time does fly by. To fast for me I say. Whatever you do enjoy being young. Once your an adult you lose some freedoms and have to endure others as an adult.

Answer 9

I can understand your frustration. Its almost like your rights as a person to your own core, your own emotions are open and on display with no resolve. If I were in your shoes, I would first try to reason intelligently with your mom, asking her to respect certain boundaries within logic and reason, tell her that you sincerely appreciate that she is involved and cares, yet to find healthy boundaries in that. And if she refuses to be open to that, your last and best resolve is to submit to the Lord in your heart towards her, honoring her as your mother and commit the frustration in your heart to the Lord. He is the only that can change her heart and yours, you will find when God is honored, He will move on your behalf. In truth, this relationship will be the first of many throughout the course of your life you will have to committ to the Lord in your heart and honor Him. It keeps balance in your life and give you a wisdom just by doing it, because it is His way. Dont fret, and dont lose heart, Jesus cares for your life more than you can imagine.

Answer 10

Your mother will always be in your business but you being a quiet and closed person to your problems is probably a big reason she is in your business! If you talk to her on a regular basis she will know a little about what is going on in your life and won't have to stoop and look around to find out for herself. Involve your mom in your life and she won't have to involve your life. But try and also set some boundries that y'all both can agree to. Just set somethings off limits. I wouldn't tell her to set everything off limits because that means you have nothing to hide. If it seems like you have nothing to hide then she thinks there won't be anything to hide.