My boyfriend and I would have been together one year on May 14. Things have been very up and down with us. He had a drinking problem, but went sober in January and things were wonderful; no fighting. We went on a beautiful romantic vacation in February, but about 3 weeks ago I noticed a change come over him. He stopped being romantic or affectionate. It's his busy season at work, so he is working incredibly long hours, but he has lost interest in everything, his friends, social life, etc. Even his tone of voice has changed. He doesn't show any passion for anything. He never wants to go anywhere or do anything. I just came out of the hospital and he was very loving and attentive but now that I'm home, he's back to strange behavior. He broke-up with me last night, saying his feelings for me are gone. I am trying not to be naive here, but I don't think it's me. I think something is going on inside him and he doesn't know how to face or deal with it. Any thoughts?
2007-05-11 00:52:05 · 10 answers · asked by Dee 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
by the way - I know he is not cheating. He had me set up his email and cell phone on-line accounts and passwords and even though I don't check them regularly - I have these past few weeks and there have been no messages from strange people
2007-05-11 00:53:14 · update #1
If he has a problem with everyone and everything and not just you, then you're definitely not the one to blame. He could be going through a rough patch (you mentioned the busy season at work) and so he could be so stressed out that he starts to think that if he's alone it's better , cause there'll be less things to worry about. Yes, it could be depression cause when someone is depressed they usually close themselves to the outside world and small everyday things are too much to handle.
However, it can also be that your boyfriend wasn't ready for a steady relationship or he never imagined you would come this far and he's having some doubts whether this is really what he wants.
Having said that, I suggest you try to talk it over with him and tell him you're there to listen and help him out if he has a problem. Remember communication is the key to a successful relationship.
Good luck!
2007-05-11 01:11:33 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes, he has depression. He needs help ASAP. My boyfriend went through that earlier this year and we got back together after it passed. Once you get depression, you always have it in some way.... You lose interest in everything that matters and you just want to die. That's how you feel. Just be there for him... even if he broke up with you, maybe try to go over and make him dinner... put on some music... maybe even go see a movie or rent one. Try your best to cheer him up but also try not to make it obvious.
If you want a REALLY AWESOME good book to read about this exact problem, get from Amazon "Depression Fallout: The Impact of Depression on Couples and What You Can Do to Preserve the Bond"
http://www.amazon.com/Depression-Fallout-Impact-Couples-Preserve/dp/0060009349/ref=pd_bbs_sr_1/104-3632989-9632764?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1178884571&sr=8-1
I got this book and it really helps you understand what he's going through a lot better, and helps you figure out how to talk to him so he listens.
Good luck... it'll pass, it just takes time. Sometimes days, weeks, or even months...
2007-05-11 00:57:52 · answer #2 · answered by Catie T 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like he is having personal issues. Does he act this way at work? Try asking a co-worker of his. If he just asks this way around you then maybe it is that he just doesn't feel for you anymore. I know i have done this when i was with someone i didn't love anymore, if it was just me and him i was miserable but as soon as a friend or relative came into the picture i was happy and talkative. Do some detective work. it could be that he really wants to break it off and didn't know how to do it so he treated you poorly to see if you would break it off first. Or is could be that he is calling out for help. Good Luck!!
2007-05-11 01:03:42 · answer #3 · answered by ibabixes 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
feels like he's having individual issues. Does he act this way at artwork? attempt asking a co-worker of his. If he basically asks this way round then you definately probably that's that he basically does no longer think for you anymore. i recognize i have done this at the same time as i become once with someone i did not like anymore, if it become basically me and him i become depressing yet as right away as a buddy or relative were given the following into the photo i become once happy and talkative. do a touch detective artwork. it may well be that he fairly needs to interrupt it off and did not be attentive to the way you may do it so he dealt with you poorly to look ought to you'll damage it off first. Or is will be that he's calling out for help. perfect success!!
2016-10-18 07:02:33 · answer #4 · answered by svendsen 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Conversation, I would say, is always something central to the promotion of a healthy relation. Talk to him about what you've seen in him lately and whether or not he'd be willing to speak with you about it (i.e. why he's been feeling that way). I'd probably suggest to be sure to have at least some energy in your contact with him, as with none he may not remember what it was like to have any vibrancy in his feeling. Ask him if he'd want to do anything with you (provided you get far enough in being able to talk with him), and if sex isn't a problem for either of you, then maybe that could be some motivation for him as well. ;]
2007-05-11 01:01:07 · answer #5 · answered by John K 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
hi you do realize that feelings for somone never get lost they just hide for a little wile and then they come back up when triggered at. so i suggest that you talk to him as a mate you know the usual hi how are ya and stuff then talk to him about how you thought you and him were a perfect couple and talk about the things you remember doing with him and it should trigger some memorys but remember play hard to get and it makes the memorys come back faster and then you will have him back within in weeks. have fun girl and go for it hes all yours!
2007-05-11 01:03:41 · answer #6 · answered by kayley b 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like he's depressed. He has most of the symptoms and should see a doctor.
Don't give up on him, in a better mood, he may seek help, with a little prodding from you.
2007-05-11 00:58:20 · answer #7 · answered by rustybones 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Have a talk to hs friends& family and ask if they have noticed this behaviour too. If they have them I would say yes, he's suffereing from depression.
Try to get him to see someone about this because if left untreated it will become a lot worse.
Good luck.
2007-05-11 00:56:37 · answer #8 · answered by Bella-El 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Lets see! He is working "incredibly" long hours, it is his busy season. It sounds like exhaustion and maybe he is just 0ver you. Sadly enough it does happen.
2007-05-11 00:58:31 · answer #9 · answered by ? 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yeah he might be depress you sound check wit hes family and see whats going on with him then
2007-05-11 00:56:58 · answer #10 · answered by T-Money 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋