Can bisexuality or homosexuality manifest itself later in life?

Question

I've read on this thing called "secondary" homosexuality or bisexuality where homosexual tendencies begin to manifest itself later in life as opposed to those who feel like they've been born with it and felt it all their lives.

I think I'm one of those. I've always like girls and I've never been attracted to guys until 3-4 years ago when I was about 17. Despite how impossible some might think it is, it definitely feels like I "turned". I'm not too sure if I like girls still, it's hard to tell now that I like guys. No offense, but homosexuality doesn't really feel natural to me. At least not yet. It's kind of a weird feeling to just be attracted to kinds people you've felt indifferent to all your life, not to mention even hated.

I feel like my situation should abolish the conventional notions of gay/straight, but people still deny it. Are there any others who feel like they are "secondary" homosexuals or bisexuals who were previous straight before?

It is interesting that one of you commented on how "repressing homosexuality repressed all sexuality". These days I find it hard to feel anything anymore. I still instinctively repress any homosexual feelings I have. I am still trying to figure out who I am and it's confusing.

As for hating homosexuals, I never said that. I said that I hated some people, those who picked on me like jocks and fratboys, but ironically now some of the people who I have hated all my life are becoming attractive to me now.

Oh yea Lui, I'm sorry, but you're argument makes absolutely no sense at all. I find your opinions too politically motivated to be taken seriously.

No, TRUST me, I know my feelings. There are NO ulterior facts or hidden motives, suppressed this or repressed that. My family is NOT religious at all, nor are they homophobic to any extent. The EARLIEST memory I've ever had of any homosexual feelings at any minute extent was when I was 15, and I barely even noticed because I was raging with lust for girls at the time. I can only acknowledge any real homosexual feelings (ones of crushes) from the time I was 17. I'm willing to turn a new page in my life, but not until I know the real facts and truths. That's not gonna help if I have a bunch of people with axes to grind for their gay agenda.

Answer 1

ive changed my mind about who im attracted to twice. it's confusing, and even more so if you've been very set in one orientation for so long. i think it is definately possible to completely change, but i think you can also just go through phases. if it feels unatural, dont do it, but dont deny how you're feeling. just let yourself love whoever you feel like. it doesnt HAVE TO be a set orientation. it's not like you have to make up your mind. nobody will exile you for deciding something else later. (well, nobody worth talking to...)

Answer 2

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Answer 3

Bisexuals can choose to be primarily heterosexual or primarily homosexual, well it's not so much a choice I guess, but anyways...

You could be bisexual, and I've heard that bisexuality can vary based on age, and you can like women more at a certain point in life, and men more at other points in life.

You comment on something that could have prevented you from realizing you had a sexual orientation that was different from heterosexual. You said you hated homosexuals, if you are bisexual or homosexual then this is called internalized homophobia. This is where you cannot accept homosexuality in yourself to the point where you're suppressing it so much that you start to externalize that, and you basically wish to suppress other homosexuals, because they're doing what you don't allow yourself to do. In other words you hate them because you're jealous of them. This should hold true for bisexuality as well, if you were oppressing your same-sex attraction before.

So that's some food for thought for you. It basically means there is no secondary homosexuality or bisexuality, just that you oppressed it previously. You may not even be able to comprehend that you did previously because denial is a very very powerful thing. Some people for instance become married, have kids, and only come to terms with it later on when the pressures of youth are gone.

So you may not have "turned" but instead have come to terms with your true self.

I say explore further, do some further self discovery. Above all else, be true to yourself, and be happy.

Answer 4

I fear that the terrible answer is this...

The vast majority of children are trained from the earliest days that they will have an opposite sex mate. In some families this is further stressed by their religious training.

Years and years of training, combined with a cultural homophobia can lead bisexual and homosexual people to unknowingly lie to themselves. They take this lie and turn it into a life, often an unhappy life but it is the only thing they know so it seems normal.

At some point in their latter life the bisexual or homosexual feelings will finally start to break through the many years of heterosexual training.

In my case and also in the case of many other "late bloomers" I have talked to, this is almost like a re-birth. They suddenly see how fullfilling their new life is and can look back and understand the lie they were living.

This does not mean they changed, it simply means they finally understand and accept themselves for who they always were.

Answer 5

I'm not sure it's a question of if I was born straight or not. It just wasn't even an issue. I may have had feelings for other men when I was younger, but it wasn't until I was in my early twenties that I realized that I was Bi.

I attribute this to the fact that I was raised in an environment where it was never communicated that it was an option. So I feel I often played off my feelings as friendship or admiration.

It was only once I was introduced into a situation where I realized that the feelings I had could be more and that it was ok.

So was I born straight and turned bi? I don't think so, I think I was always Bi and just didn't understand my own feelings.

Can you feel something and yet not know the name of that feeling, I believe you can. At least this is how it worked out for me.

Being with a woman is still my first preference, but being with a man is also desirable. I feel as though I can be Bi and yet still enjoy one a bit more than the other.

Answer 6

First off, there is not now, nor has there ever been, a gay agenda. This was something dreamed up by Jerry Falwell and Rev Dobson in order to spread hate and thereby increase their take in their weekly offering plates.

Homosexuality is usually present at birth as is bisexuality and heterosexuality. This is something that can't be changed. However, there is a temporary shift to the gay lifestyle among men who have no chance of enjoying normal sex. I'm talking about prisoners, military personnel who are away for a long period of time such as a sailor or marine on board ship. This usually reverts back to normality once the man is back in an environment where he can obtain female companionship.

In your case I think your problem is recognizing and accepting your sexual orientation. This is probably due to strong beliefs and prejudices that have been instilled in you by others.

Bisexuality is something that many of us are still not sure even exists. Many people who are gay take the position that they are bisexual because they feel that being bi will offer them a better lifestyle than they would have if they were totally gay. Many men who claim to be bi get married and live a very restricted and miserable life as a result of that.

Answer 7

Well, if you postpone your sexuality, giving the priority to other things in life..that happens..my understanding of my bisxlty was at almost 27-28 ages..Or psychologically negatively effected ppl do experience great difficulty in defining themselves as a sexual being..So against the general fact that sexual identity occurs and takes its final shape in the very early ages..(genetic+environmental factors all contribute to this) there are some exceptions..
Your case is something else, it might be curiosity, a temporary attraction..or maybe you are becoming a bi..this could be said because you say that you have been liking girls until now..Most probably you are a bisexual, once you erase your opposed ideas in the mind against homosexuality maybe you can try and see what you really are

Answer 8

No. I am 100% completely straight, but I used to be 100% gay. I had no attraction to men whatsoever. But that was only because I was so focused on the ATTRACTION, rather than the emotional part of it all. Falling in love with a man is what turned me straight. Now, you couldn't pay me to be with a woman. And I believe that many people of the gay community might find it offensive that you assume they would be straight if they were "sane." I'm sure many of them like themselves just the way they are. But God has a different take on the situation, and I believe that if a gay person was to fall in love with someone of the opposite sex, the ATTRACTION would matter to them less and less. Until they got to the point where the love would bring the attraction into the picture on it's own. If God makes something like this a sin, then there must be a way around it, and I believe this is it. This would be like saying a pedophile who is attracted to children can't change and be attracted to women, because he is "born this way." Is that fair to say? LOVE is the ingredient that is missing. God bless.

Answer 9

The Bible says that all the souls belong to God (Ezekiel 18:4) but that he has put time into the hearts of men (Ecclesiastes 3:11) which we can then pray to go into God's hands (Psalms 31:14, 15).

Isaiah 3:9 is one scripture that shows open homosexuality being contingent on various societal developments. It's not just a personal orientation. Romans 1 describes a number of traits of homosexuals and it's not something you do as an individual. Whether people know what friends or boundaries are, though, in order to be able to tell what's influencing them in life, is another question.

Answer 10

Perhaps you are experiencing some kind of hero worship, Remeber a lot of sublimated homosexual feelings are connected with the hero worship of footbal stars racing drivers atheltes etc we worsip the physical godlike creatures who we would love to be as perfect as