Before we got married we always talked about having kids but now that we are married (4years) my husband says he doesn't want children.We use to fight about this a lot but the last few months it got so emotionaly tiering that i just kept my mouth even though I'm deing inside. My husbund went so far to tell me last night his going for a vasectomy om monday. i creid myself to sleep last night!!! what should I do? Do I leave him. I do love him lots but I so badly want a baby!!! what made him change his mind. Maybe its my fault
2007-05-10 21:58:19 · 8 answers · asked by KELLY ANN L 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
If having a child is that important to you, and not having a child is that important to him, you guys should split up. No, don't give him an ultimatum, because then he'd be having a child for the wrong reasons. You should both move on with your lives.
2007-05-10 22:13:45 · answer #1 · answered by knuckleheadmcspazmatron 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
He can't just make that decision without your approval. His wife! He's being way too selfish. Does it bother him that he's upsetting you like this? Does he know how important this subject is? Does he know how much this will affect your marriage? Does he know he will eventually be getting a divorce? Does he love you?
You have to ask alot of questions, because marriage is two people. If he knew when you were married that you were planning on having children, then he can't just change his mind, especially if he knows how much this will hurt you.
You have to now find out, how much he loves you.. This is what I would do.
In a sort of threatening type manner, confront him and say, "you know how I feel and you know I love you, but because your not respecting me mentally, emotionally and physically, then I have to make my own decision. That is, if you go thru with this vasectomy and take away my opportunity to create a family with you, then you will ruin my life and definitely ruin our marriage, because I will have to file for divorce. You obviously want to take care of only yourself and if that's the case, you should be single".
His reaction will tell you everything. If he just doesn't care and says file, then he doesn't love you. If he won't let that happen, then he does love you. You should only be together, because your making eachother happy. I wish you all the luck. God Bless.
2007-05-11 07:27:18 · answer #2 · answered by Very Honest 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
honey im sorry and i know how you feel
my spouse has a child from a previous marriage and is dead set on no more children even with knowing that i want a couple some day
if he is having the surgery on monday then try one last time to convince him to have a baby if he says no try the freezing the sperm cause you might change your mind later
if still no there is adoption
still no then i would leave and find some one with the same interests as your own
but if you want to stay then you will have to be content with nieces and nephews and children of friends
2007-05-11 05:11:16 · answer #3 · answered by rox o 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Definately communication break down. He either lied about wanting kids or something has changed his mind. Promise him you will never force him by getting pregant deliberately, if he will wait to get his vasectomy (which you could tell him really really hurt and can affect sexual performance)
Its really a tough one, Keep hoping for either an accident (genuine) or that you can make him understand how important it is to you.
I'll definately be praying for you
2007-05-11 05:05:55 · answer #4 · answered by bedfordbuschick 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He doesn't want childern. thats the end of. You have to either accept the fact or move on. I think you should of talked about this more throughly before you got married. if you forced him to have childern. he'd resent them. He'd hate them he'd probably make there lifes a living hell.
If you love him enough to stay in the marriage. perhaps pick a job that involves kids?.
2007-05-11 05:26:30 · answer #5 · answered by Chikia 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Basically, he lied to you then. If having children is that important to you, you've chosen the wrong man to be married to.
I'd suggest you tell him outright that you love him, but you had discussed children prior to marrying him, and you feel he misled you. Don't argue. Deliver it as information. Tell him that children are important to you, and you feel that it would be best if you divorced. You need to discuss bills, division of assets and so on.
Assuming having children is really that important to you.
2007-05-11 06:06:14 · answer #6 · answered by Kaia 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
u deserve to be a mother you have to decide him or mother hood?
2007-05-11 05:19:28 · answer #7 · answered by sarolla 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
come over here i'll knock you up
2007-05-11 05:02:45 · answer #8 · answered by bobbyflye 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋