This is a Hard one!! My ex-husband won't have any contact with me?

Question

Which wouldn't be a problem except we have two children togeather. He sees our son 8yrs once a fortnight for 1day and hasn't seen our daughter 4yrs since she was 1 when he left.
We had a pretty normal break-up bit of bad blood both sides but nothing extreme he ended up with my then best friend. I am now completely over him and the hurt of the whole thing but would like some form of contact between us for our childrens sake. His current partner (my ex best friend) is insecure and the only contact I have with him is thru sms on her cell phone. I want to begin some contact between us but don't know how or what to do?? I don't have his land line number or address just her cell phone number. She would probably do anything to stop any contact between us how do I make them understand I am over it and not a threat?

Answer 1

you can't change how she feels and she has the control cause your ex has no back bone...
All you can hope for is that he will have constant contact with his children, but the kids as they get older will make up their own minds.
it's hurtful to watch and no matter how much you try it wont do any good, he is with someone who has the control and he needs to see what he is doing.
he will be the one who misses out on their growing up.Had same problem with my daughter and her father but once They ( then wife) divorced he was on the scene again blaming his ex for all the problems and my daughter excepted that as she wanted to see him again but now he is in another relationship and she hardly See's him again but she is older and has got on with her life and doesn't give him much thought now..but boy don't you want to kick some butt.

Answer 2

I know now you are thinking of your children, back then I am sure with the situation, it must have been very intense.
If he is paying child support, that may be as good as it is going to get.
I have seen the exact same situation to where the ex wife made it so difficult and was all about how she was feeling that the father no longer wanted to be in his child's life because the wife messed with the the child's mind so badly.
It was not that he did not love his child, he did very much. But his ex could not get past it. That may be what has happened. And just because you may be kool with it now, look how long it took you to get there.
I am not saying you were not justified in being upset. But, if you were more concerned for your feelings than your children's, and did not even try to separate the two for the sake of your children, then you successful exterminated their father from their lives and there is nothing you can do to change it.

Answer 3

I`d say your so called ex best friend has been telling your ex hubby a few fibs! Men are sometimes so caught up with their new partners,that they`ll believe just about anything! She has probably told him you had an affair and your daughter isnt his! That would explain his no contact act.Your ex best friend has known you both and has seen you together and probably has been told a few details more then most friends usually know.She needs him to hate you and your kids as thats her only way to picture him without you! Dont worry he`ll wake up to her sooner or later.kids grow up and will want to come face to face with him.Best advice i could give you is to move on and forget the past.Dont put him down in front of your kids either you want them to see him in their eyes not yours.Dont worry kids arent stupid! As for your best friend what a shame rebounds never last forever lol.....You need to change your phone number so he has to come around to the house.it may take a month or so but he will show up evenually! if she calls around dont answer the door! only ever speak to her when the ex hubby is present ( in your nicest voice and not sounding angry sounding more like the wounded bird lol) you have recently found out about all the lies she has told your hubby about you and even though they are just rumours you prefer to just deal with him now! that will get her thinking lol and HIM lol...dont jump into a fight with them if they get angry.walk in side and tell him if you need to speak to me about the children you know how to contact me.if its one thing i have learnt in my divorce(its been 7 yrs now) was to be cool headed and always come out smelling like a rose! And i left him lol

Answer 4

I don't understand why you don't have his telephone number and address.
Just phone her and tell her you would like to speak to your ex and when she asks why? Say, it is about the children. And you would appreciate having a contact number where you can speak to him directly about your children. And stick to your point.
I don't understand this notion that ex's should not have phone numbers or addresses. What happens if you need to contact him in an emergency? Why do you have to go through the girlfriend? What a load of nonsense.

Answer 5

Does he pay child support for your children? If not either go to child support services or social services or court to file a claim . As long as you have his full name, and social secutrity number. That's all they need. They will help you how to contact him. And after that your once who called best friend is still try to stop him from your children. Get some proof and report her to the police. or higher court.

Answer 6

You can't force him to be a father to your daughter. You can't force contact.

You can make sure your children understand his decision to not be in their lives more has nothing to do with them. You can tell them that they are wonderful people, and he's just missing out on so much..and some day, he'll regret it.

Just keep telling them that. You can't make him a good father. You have to be both, mother and father, for your children.

I had to, and I ended up with a pretty darn good adult. All without much interaction from her biological donor.

Answer 7

with any luck you may get by way of this emotional time quickly...yet you're taking this someplace it would not ought to pass. If he became into round her for 15 years he has some variety of fatherly connection to her. in basic terms think of roughly it if it became into you and you felt a connection like that to somebody who wasn't your organic and organic baby yet somebody you just about raised. you need to attempt have been given get better and better, end focusing plenty on that distinctive subject. in case you experience you could no longer perhaps you need to hunt for expert help to your marriage earlier you opt to throw all of it away. sturdy success.

Answer 8

This is all on him, he doesnt see your kids now, really what makes you think by contacting him its going to change? Sadly you cant force anyone to be a parent its going to be his loss in the end.... just make your children your first concern and move on with your life...

Answer 9

Now why do you want to contact him? If it is for the kids, just wait til he contacts. His loss if he decides not to be involved. And better for you so you can heal easier with him out of the way. That kind of crap leaves alot of bruising inside. I know.

Answer 10

R U My Ex?