We have zero chemistry together,but he wants it all to work out,but I am not sure why I got with him except that he is a great person...Is that enough,or do you settle for a life of mundane sex ,when i don't even want him touching me???
What is the right thing to do here?
Anyone think they know?Help!!!
2007-05-10 19:54:53 · 14 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
It's not me...it's him..He likes sex with me,but I feel completely turned off by him..Yes, it IS sad because I love him deeply as a person,but I don't even find him attractive any longer...I am always drawn to other men physically,(but I wouold NEVER cheat....it is not fair to the other person and is a copout...)I do however want to be with a man I am sexually attracted to ..Is it wrong to desire that?
I am a sexual person(extremely)...Just don't like it with him and it makes me sad cause I care about him and he is a good man....Maybe I will pray...
2007-05-10 20:07:38 · update #1
If you are not happy then indeed get out of it. You are only wasting both of your lives by sticking around. Life's too short to not be happy in any part of ones life. Find someone that does fit your needs and he will do the same. Just be honest and everything should be fine. Good luck
2007-05-10 20:02:54 · answer #1 · answered by Just keep breathin' 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
This is a serious problem. You without you knowing yourself are building a hatred which will burst one day.
If you think you are "attracted" to other men and would like to have sex with them; it means YOU DON'T LOVE that guy (ur BF). It sure that you have a very good respect and likes for him. But not love for your BF.
If you want the relationship to workout, you will have to talk your problems to him. Ask him to make "love-making" sessions more interesting, You can make it interesting as well. Thanks to Kamasutra! (the art of sex) buy those books/videos for him/yourself. Educate him to, make love interesting. There are even schools in many countries, which teaches to make sex interesting. search Internet for the ones in your country.
If hes skinny advise him to build mussels on his body. If hes fat make him reduce it. see if you can make ur existing BF your dream BF (I guess its tough), but you can give it a try if you what to continue ur 7 year relationship.
If possible, "You guys need some distance now" not break off. you probably see if you can move else where for couple of months of at least weeks. this will strengthen you feelings for each other. If it doesn't work after the distance.
Only one hope. Leave him for good. Tell him the reason. I don't think friendship will also work as you have had 7 years for relationship. After break-off friendship might not be possible. leave him and find another person.
I know its hard. but you have to move on and let him move on. don't let the time pass without any improvements. It'll just burst out one day and u'll hurt you and him the most.
Good Luck!
2007-05-11 03:47:56 · answer #2 · answered by Akar 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I was there. I would lay next to him in bed and pray he would find someone else. I had to move out of the country to make it happen. I'm also a wimp. Seven long years I guess. It's hard to tell someone the truth on this one. I wouldn't normally say this, but if you've tried communication to ask him to improve, you might want to consider the old standby.. have someone fix you up and cheat. It's miserable, but it will push things in the "right" direction. I'm sorry for both of you either way.
2007-05-11 03:01:18 · answer #3 · answered by AquaSunshine 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sex isn't everything in a marriage, but it is one of the benefits. Remember in marriage you will vow to forsake others for the rest of your life. But if you're trying to marry someone you already plan on saying "don't touch me" to, who else is he supposed to touch, especially if you say yourself that you "don't believe in cheating." Your going to push him to either a divorce or to another woman. Do him a favor by declining the invitation to be with him forever as his wife. Just the fact that you like him as a person isn't good enough, you have to want to love him as a woman. Tell him you're not interested in "forever" because you still want to see other people right now and feel that you aren't ready for a permanent situation with him.
2007-05-11 03:29:51 · answer #4 · answered by phil 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What happened there? You need to spice things up a bit yourself and take the lead if sex has become "mundane"! A seven year relationship is a lot to throw away... it sounds like you just need some more excitement, so create it yourself with your BF.
2007-05-11 03:01:37 · answer #5 · answered by Dave F 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think there's a serious problem in your relationship. Even known that sex is not all that matters in a relationship it is very important. I think that you guys should have a really good conversation to see if you guys can solve the problem. If not my best advise is to split up unless your love is stronger than sex.
Good luck....
JP
mexico
2007-05-11 03:00:41 · answer #6 · answered by gasparin 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would say... bummer. Getting with your guy simply because he's nice isn't the way to go, ur hurting yourself more then you know. Perhaps it's time to move on, it's not good for either of you to be together without having common interests.
2007-05-11 02:59:26 · answer #7 · answered by seanied2003 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Hard as it maybe, CUT IT OFF. Eventually he will get over it, and who knows, ya'll might still be able to be civil around each other later in life.
2007-05-11 03:02:49 · answer #8 · answered by Rav 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Relationships, even your sex life, takes actual work. Either you put effort forth or move one.
2007-05-11 02:59:28 · answer #9 · answered by RED 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I do it I've been with the same person and it is BORING oh well it depends on if you think you can find better and if so moveon
2007-05-11 03:01:55 · answer #10 · answered by nellie 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋