I've been hearing a lot about "swingers" in our community and was curious what you guys think. Do you think it's ok as long as everyone involved is ok with it? I kind of feel like, whatever works for them, but I could never cheat on my husband. What are your thoughts on the subject?
2007-05-10 15:30:42 · 27 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Once again, I'm not considering this. I just never realized how much of it was going on, I guess I lead a sheltered life. I just wondered what other people though of this.
2007-05-10 15:40:00 · update #1
Well, replace the word swinging with any other touchy subject (selling/using drugs, religious cults, letting younger kids have guns, spousal abuse, incest, masochism, etc.). What do you think about those things? Lots of people do them too.
If your relationship is based on mutual trust then how likely is someone going to get hurt? There are a LOT of people in the world so anything is bound to be practiced by more than a few somewhere. The Kurowai people of Papua are alleged to still practice cannibalism. That'd suck for somebody wouldn't it?
Some behaviors are downright harmful. The reasons people do them are different in every case and some just don't have reasons. But the outcomes are pretty predictable... usually bad ones.
The idea that when 'everyone involved is ok with it' an act's damaging aspects go away is naïve. Generally people want a partner who will care and respect them and they want to feel that their partner's affections are theirs alone. Swinging ain't that way.
If your gut tells you to stay out of something, then it's wise to listen to your gut and run the other direction.
This reminds me of something Burke Breathed's penguin Opus said way back when. It was in a comic book. Portnoy told Opus he wanted to get a haircut like Billy Idol's because "everybody's doing it". So Opus told him a story that in the Falkland islands there are hundreds of penguins. When an airplane flies overhead they all look up to watch it. They point their heads up as the plane flies by and lean back, back, back as it travels overhead until, all at once, hundreds of penguins fall flat on their back. Portnoy asks 'what's that got to do with anything?' and Opus replies that even though hundreds may do something stupid, it's still stupid.
2007-05-10 16:47:50 · answer #1 · answered by Tigger 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
MTV or VH1 had a special the other day about swingers. I watched it and I tried to put myself in the "swinger" setting and I don't think I could ever do it. I could probably pull myself away from the relationship connection with my significant other, but the whole time I would be thinking "some other girl is kissing and making love to my future husband!!!"
Swinger lifestyle is ok for some but I personally think its not for me. Definately try to catch the re-runs of the show....
2007-05-10 22:37:14 · answer #2 · answered by colorfulswanson 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't think I would feel comfortable in a room full of people getting it on with someone other than my bf so I feel you. I think whatever floats your boat but at the same time STDs are alive and well. If you want to put yourself and your husband in danger then that is fine too. I think people really need to think long term instead of short term. Because you never know if your partner is secretly thinking I really don't want to do this. Has your husband brought it up to you? I know that there are swingers parties here but am I really ready to attend something like that. I like sex but I like it with one partner and one partner only.
2007-05-10 22:36:06 · answer #3 · answered by badazz_51 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Marriage is between two people , a husband and
a wife or a wife and a husband. Swinging is for
those who just want to have fun and sex with many
others, and that does not mix with a married
couple. Just because everyone is involved does
not make it right, however people can decide what
is wrong or right for them, the only problem is
if it's wrong our maker will deal with it and it will be
in a way in which no-one can escape when the
time comes, so use your conscience and do what
you feel is right for you , just remember someone
above is watching you.
2007-05-10 22:42:23 · answer #4 · answered by RudiA 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
To me when you get married it is about the two individuals that made the vows. Even if the "swingers" think that it is okay, it is wrong. There is no way that you are "RIGHT in the HEAD" if you could see the love of you life be with someone else. That would break my heart and if you are truly in love with someone there is no way in the world you could just set there and watch someone be with your wife/husband. I know that I couldn't.
2007-05-10 22:44:07 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I strongly advise against it. My (now ex) husband of 15 years convinced me to try swinging, and within 3 years he ran off with one of the women we played around with. I never saw it coming. We had the greatest marriage before we started swinging. But men are so easily tempted, and looking back, I can see now that it was just giving him permission to cheat. We started out only doing it together, never without the other present, but one thing led to another and before I knew we were in an open marriage, and the rest is history. I resent him to this day for getting me into that lifestyle. Please think long and hard before you do it. Good luck to you.
2007-05-10 22:37:38 · answer #6 · answered by TwyztedChyck 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Been there, done that.
It works if everyone involved agrees to it.
There needs to be total trust with your partner that it will only happen in their presence and nobody tries to get something going on alone. No discussions about who is the better f**k when the evening is over.
2007-05-10 22:53:11 · answer #7 · answered by "N"saysable 1iric 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, me personally i could never do it cause the thought of seeing my husband with another woman, makes me wild, i would want to bash them both, I think also it could cause alot of trouble in the relationship later on, expecially if one partner liked it and wanted to continue doing it and the other did not, but i guess some people are into that sort of thing......
2007-05-10 22:39:23 · answer #8 · answered by mumma_of_4 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i think if it works for them them let them. to some couples, sex is just sex. it's an act of the body more than the soul. to most couples they would see sleeping with someone else as an act of the soul. swingers look at it as just sex, nothing else. in a way, their relationship have to be much stronger and healthier than a monogamous relationship because they have to trust each other completely and let go of all trust issues.
2007-05-10 22:36:50 · answer #9 · answered by redpeach_mi 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That depends on what your partner is like. If they have the fantasy of this then it could work out. If not dont bet on it. Start slow and work your way up to the swinging life and enjoy...
2007-05-10 22:34:26 · answer #10 · answered by fivelow83 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋